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How Do you feel about waiting till Marriage to have sex?Have you already had sex?
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Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
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I don't have anything against it. I'm not a virgin, but there's nothing wrong with waiting until marriage...as long as you're doing it because you want to.
But I do believe it should happen at a time when you are able to bear the responsibilities that go along with having sex.
But I do believe it should happen at a time when you are able to bear the responsibilities that go along with having sex.
░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
Bonnet Flaunter
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Sex is important in marriage. Sex is important in any loving relationship. Sex is just important!
Lurker
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If god wanted us to wait to have sex until we are married, then I am surely burning in hell when I am done. It's something that happens as and when the time is right.
Active Ink Slinger
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I think it's a ridiculas idea. To make a serious commitment and not know if you are sexually compatible.. Never... ever.. ever.. would I do..
Sex I way too important to me.
I guess that answers your second question.
Sex I way too important to me.
I guess that answers your second question.
Active Ink Slinger
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I didn't wait.. when I met the man who would become my husband, he was a virgin... he wasn't on our wedding night. If I had to do everything over again, I'd say I'd rather not have married someone who was a virgin before I married him. He gave his virginity to me - and don't get me wrong... I'm flattered. But really, our sex life has suffered because I don't know how to teach him, and he isn't open to learning new things. Not open to experiences as I am. So I'd go with, wouldn't be a virgin when I got married... and wouldn't marry someone who's "essentially" a virgin.
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I say go for it. It's not always actual time that matters, it's relationship time. In my opinion, those are two different things. Also, it's the frequency too that comes into play. One thing I don't think shouldn't be a factor, but is sometimes, is what kind of sex you have. Having kinky sex, you now what I mean? As you get into the relationship, sex gets better. Yes, I'm not married, and I've had sex.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Alex7
If god wanted us to wait to have sex until we are married, then I am surely burning in hell when I am done. It's something that happens as and when the time is right.
LMAO!!!
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by forbidden_flirt
I didn't wait.. when I met the man who would become my husband, he was a virgin... he wasn't on our wedding night. If I had to do everything over again, I'd say I'd rather not have married someone who was a virgin before I married him. He gave his virginity to me - and don't get me wrong... I'm flattered. But really, our sex life has suffered because I don't know how to teach him, and he isn't open to learning new things. Not open to experiences as I am. So I'd go with, wouldn't be a virgin when I got married... and wouldn't marry someone who's "essentially" a virgin.
It was because he was not experienced,maybe that would explain why he is not up to try new things.He hasn't had enough time to learn.
Cryptic Vigilante
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Quote by Soleillalune
I think it's a ridiculas idea. To make a serious commitment and not know if you are sexually compatible.. Never... ever.. ever.. would I do..
Sex I way too important to me.
This is my opinion too. The whole concept of having to wait until being married was established at a time when no contraceptive methods existed and sex had high chances to lead to pregnancy. During that era, I believe the concept was fully valid and adequate to ensure that only stable couples would have sex, give birth and raise children.
In our modern era though, this concept is very much dated, and as Soleillalune said you risk the chances of being sexually incompatible. This can already be awkward for a one nighter, I can't imagine how horrible it would be if you're already married and committed. Plus, you'll be missing a whole lot of experience and fun... for absolutely no purpose.
Go for it. Fuck till death do you part!
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by SereneProdigy
This is my opinion too. The whole concept of having to wait until being married was established at a time when no contraceptive methods existed and sex had high chances to lead to pregnancy. During that era, I believe the concept was fully valid and adequate to ensure that only stable couples would have sex, give birth and raise children.
In our modern era though, this concept is very much dated, and as Soleillalune said you risk the chances of being sexually uncompatible. This can already be awkward for a one nighter, I can't imagine how horrible it would be if you're already married and commited. Plus, you'll be missing a whole lot of experience and fun... for absolutely no purpose.
Go for it. Fuck till death do you part!
That's not quite correct, in some cultures you got married when the woman became pregnant to ensure she was fertile. Typically they never considered it may be the man.
Also I don't understand the idea of compatable sex, if both parties are virgins they wouldn't know any different.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by dpw
That's not quite correct, in some cultures you got married when the woman became pregnant to ensure she was fertile. Typically they never considered it may be the man.
Also I don't understand the idea of compatable sex, if both parties are virgins they wouldn't know any different.
What's not to understand ? Your kinks fit mine.
So.. They've never had sex and... they've never had sexual thoughts? About their desires?
Wow... Ummm ok.. I guess..
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by dpw
That's not quite correct, in some cultures you got married when the woman became pregnant to ensure she was fertile. Typically they never considered it may be the man.
Also I don't understand the idea of compatable sex, if both parties are virgins they wouldn't know any different.
Wait a minute. The fact that someone is a virgin does not necessarily mean "if both parties are virgins they wouldn't know any different." It could just as easily be that one or both of them know a great deal about their sexuality yet they just haven't had coitus.
I once knew a young woman who claimed she wanted to get married a virgin so she did not have regular intercourse (coitus) but did every other form of sexual activity imaginable (almost it seemed! lol) including anal.
How do we say that she did not have sex? From the day she told me that, I really have wondered: what does "virginity" mean? Does it just mean not having coitus, end of story? Or does it mean more?
In my travels in this world, I have found some very unusual customs related to human sexuality.
I think this question might be made clearer, and be better defined. What does "sex before marriage" specifically refer to? Coitus only? Or what?
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Aidin
Wait a minute. The fact that someone is a virgin does not necessarily mean "if both parties are virgins they wouldn't know any different." It could just as easily be that one or both of them know a great deal about their sexuality yet they just haven't had coitus.
I once knew a young woman who claimed she wanted to get married a virgin so she did not have regular intercourse (coitus) but did every other form of sexual activity imaginable (almost it seemed! lol) including anal.
How do we say that she did not have sex? From the day she told me that, I really have wondered: what does "virginity" mean? Does it just mean not having coitus, end of story? Or does it mean more?
In my travels in this world, I have found some very unusual customs related to human sexuality.
I think this question might be made clearer, and be better defined. What does "sex before marriage" specifically refer to? Coitus only? Or what?
Well she's the most unvirginal virgin that I ever heard of, keep her number! Lol
I was thinking of chaste, ignorant of carnal matters rather than a woman that takes it up the ass to keep the hymen intact.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Soleillalune
What's not to understand ? Your kinks fit mine.
So.. They've never had sex and... they've never had sexual thoughts? About their desires?
Wow... Ummm ok.. I guess..
It's true, you can have dreams and ideas but they aren't the reality. Women sometimes think of the wonder of giving birth with no thought to the pain. Men dream of being a sportstar without knowing what it takes to achieve it.
Active Ink Slinger
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Lurker
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When I was a virgin, the thought never crossed my mind...for one thing...marriage is ideally forever (yes, it's not forever because there's divorce but people don't usually go into marriage with divorce already in the agenda). Sex is an important aspect of matrimony. Sex is an important aspect of life.
Active Ink Slinger
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I wasn't a virgin, my wife was, when we married over 40 years ago. We'd been going out for 3 years, and once the honeymoon was over, she told me that she wished she hadn't waited. That wasn't any for of bait to trap me into marriage, but the way she had been brought up. Happily, we've fucked all ways ever since and still do, and it was as though she'd shed a real load of inhibition with her virginity.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by LovingHer17
It was because he was not experienced,maybe that would explain why he is not up to try new things.He hasn't had enough time to learn.
Should have been enough time by now though... it's been 12 years since we got married. He still hasn't learned a whole lot... guess it's now my own fault - I don't know how to teach... but I love to learn.
Raised on Blackroot
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Well yea, I've already had sex. (Didn't happen until my first year in college, but eh. 
Wasn't in a hurry to lose it.)
As far as willingness to wait until marriage? I don't have anything against it. Knock yourself out if you're doing it for YOU and NOT someone else.
However, maybe it is the pragmatist in me, but I believe sexual compatibility is a must in marriage, especially a young marriage.
Be honest here. Could you tolerate a marriage where the sex was horrid and dispassionate? Could you do it without being swayed into an affair or some such?
I wouldn't want to tempt fate. Sure you can luck out waiting until marriage and end up having explosive, volcanic sex with your spouse. Or you can gradually learn how to.
But I prefer to know what I'm getting into with that regard.
Sex isn't everything in life, love, or marriage.
But it is most certainly key.
Wasn't in a hurry to lose it.)As far as willingness to wait until marriage? I don't have anything against it. Knock yourself out if you're doing it for YOU and NOT someone else.
However, maybe it is the pragmatist in me, but I believe sexual compatibility is a must in marriage, especially a young marriage.
Be honest here. Could you tolerate a marriage where the sex was horrid and dispassionate? Could you do it without being swayed into an affair or some such?
I wouldn't want to tempt fate. Sure you can luck out waiting until marriage and end up having explosive, volcanic sex with your spouse. Or you can gradually learn how to.
But I prefer to know what I'm getting into with that regard.
Sex isn't everything in life, love, or marriage.
But it is most certainly key.
Artistic Tart
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Quote by MadMartigan
Be honest here. Could you tolerate a marriage where the sex was horrid and dispassionate? Could you do it without being swayed into an affair or some such?
That's a really interesting question. I think about that sometimes- like what if I'd never had sex untiil I was married and then it really sucked? But the thing is, you don't know what you don't know. If you're that inexperienced, you probably just think sex as a concept was way overrated, or that you just suck at it. Or (most likely) you're in some sort of fundamentalist religious sect that teaches you it's not really for pleasure anyway, which ushers in your lifelong career of frequent but furtive masturbation.
Raised on Blackroot
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Quote by LadyX
That's a really interesting question. I think about that sometimes- like what if I'd never had sex untiil I was married and then it really sucked? But the thing is, you don't know what you don't know. If you're that inexperienced, you probably just think sex as a concept was way overrated, or that you just suck at it. Or (most likely) you're in some sort of fundamentalist religious sect that teaches you it's not really for pleasure anyway, which ushers in your lifelong career of frequent but furtive masturbation.
My point was not really so much about sexual experience so much as sexual compatibility with the person you're marrying.
You could both be inexperienced, yet wind up hitting it off sexually right off the bat or down the line.
Or you don't, yet end up having an affair and the compatibility is better leading you do wonder: did I make the right choice?
Now do all the different scenarios, only with the lack of sexual compatibility with your spouse.
That's, personally, why I think sex your potential spouse has some level of importance before tying the knot.
Of course, you know know what you don't know. But do you wanna risk that with someone I'd hope you genuinely love?
I'd rather learn we weren't sexually compatible before marriage, then after when one or both of us starts to stray or blows things up indirectly because of sexual frustration and not being able to find a comfortable level of intimacy with a loved one.
Artistic Tart
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Quote by MadMartigan
My point was not really so much about sexual experience so much as sexual compatibility with the person you're marrying.
You could both be inexperienced, yet wind up hitting it off sexually right off the bat or down the line.
Or you don't, yet end up having an affair and the compatibility is better leading you do wonder: did I make the right choice?
Now do all the different scenarios, only with the lack of sexual compatibility with your spouse.
That's, personally, why I think sex your potential spouse has some level of importance before tying the knot.
Of course, you know know what you don't know. But do you wanna risk that with someone I'd hope you genuinely love?
I'd rather learn we weren't sexually compatible before marriage, then after when one or both of us starts to stray or blows things up indirectly because of sexual frustration and not being able to find a comfortable level of intimacy with a loved one.
That all makes sense, but if you were totally inexperienced (and thus ignorant) sexually, you wouldn't even understand "sexual compatibility" as a concept. You would not know if you were compatible or not. You would just have sex, and it would either be awesome, or bad, or somewhere in between. All the while, you would just assume that's what sex was like in general, since you had no further frame of reference.
Of course all this is moot. I'd never shack up with a guy before we fucked- several times.
Raised on Blackroot
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Quote by LadyX
That all makes sense, but if you were totally inexperienced (and thus ignorant) sexually, you wouldn't even understand "sexual compatibility" as a concept. You would not know if you were compatible or not. You would just have sex, and it would either be awesome, or bad, or somewhere in between. All the while, you would just assume that's what sex was like in general, since you had no further frame of reference.
Of course all this is moot. I'd never shack up with a guy before we fucked- several times.
Perhaps not, but I like to think you "know it when it hits you."
It maybe be harder to qualify the good sex from the bad if you've only had one partner, which could lead to
"this is sex? it ain't all it's cracked up to be" feelings. I tend to think, however, that down the line there's the distinct possibility of experiencing sexual frustration even with those "meh, sex" thoughts. You may not know it at first that that's what's causing tension, but that makes it all the more volatile. You wouldn't know what's fucking up your relationship.
But agreed on all of this being moot as well. I don't think I could marry or shack up with a gal without first having had a variety of sexual encounters with her: quickies, making love, and just plain fucking for pleasure.
Alpha Blonde
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I couldn't do it, or advocate it. The waiting til marriage, that is. But it's really up to personal choice.
I'd think even if you haven't had sex, you'd still know bad sex from good sex (within reason). We live in a culture of sex so there has to be some expectations.
Or you can just hope that you meet Aldous Snow on your Honeymoon and get some free lessons.
It also doesn't make sense unless you're planning to marry reasonably young (ie. 19-25). People are getting married much later these days - they're going to university, getting established in their careers, traveling and enjoying their autonomy. I think it's unrealistic to expect people to stay virgins into their late twenties and thirties. If they want to - no problem - but that pressure and expectation and 'sex-shaming' (culturally or religiously) is what I disagree with. If you're an adult, you should be free to make adult decisions that are right for you and nobody else.
I'd think even if you haven't had sex, you'd still know bad sex from good sex (within reason). We live in a culture of sex so there has to be some expectations.
Or you can just hope that you meet Aldous Snow on your Honeymoon and get some free lessons.
It also doesn't make sense unless you're planning to marry reasonably young (ie. 19-25). People are getting married much later these days - they're going to university, getting established in their careers, traveling and enjoying their autonomy. I think it's unrealistic to expect people to stay virgins into their late twenties and thirties. If they want to - no problem - but that pressure and expectation and 'sex-shaming' (culturally or religiously) is what I disagree with. If you're an adult, you should be free to make adult decisions that are right for you and nobody else.
Active Ink Slinger
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My wife was a virgin when we got married and I was not. I'll be honest it took a couple weeks for her to get into the swing of things but that has more to do with the fact that she grew up a good girl so hadn't really explored her body enough to give me many pointers (like don't lick her clit because it tickles, etc...). As far as the sexual compatibility is concerned I think that is a bunch of horse shit. If you know the person well enough to get married, you know their personality, how they treat you, how they communicate with you, how touching them makes you feel, how being with them makes you feel, how they will react to different situations. If you don't know them that well then you shouldn't be getting married in the first place, but if you do then your sex life will be fine. I could tell if a girl would be a good lay or not long before we got in bed (aside from drunk college hookups lol). You should be able to tell if someone can please you or not by knowing them. If your retort is the parts may not fit as well as they could well guess what, sex is about pleasuring your partner, not shoving a dick inside a vag and hoping they fit. Toys, fingers, mouths, tongues, and flavored lube were all made for a reason. If you want to wait don't worry if you know the person well enough to marry them, you can make it hot, just don't expect fireworks the first time. If you think experience in bed will land you a marriage your an idiot but also don't be so quick to judge someone who isn't a virgin just because you may be
Active Ink Slinger
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To each their own. Personally, I wouldn't wait. As already mentioned in several posts, sex and sexual chemistry is an important (among other things of course) ingredient in a long, happy, healthy and fulfilling relationship. Better to know sooner rather than later if it ain't working for ya ;)
Active Ink Slinger
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I agree with what other have already said. It would be kind of depressing if you waited and waited and you are expecting it to be magical and perfect and then you have sex and it sucks and there's no chemistry at all. As for me I doubt I will end up waiting until I get married. I think it's a nice gesture and who knows maybe I will end up waiting 
. But then again I feel like if you truly love someone and there's good communication you could work out the issues and make it more enjoyable.
. But then again I feel like if you truly love someone and there's good communication you could work out the issues and make it more enjoyable.
Lurker
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I've already had sex and I don't really agree with waiting 'till marriage to have sex. When the honeymoon comes somebody's gotta know the bedroom mechanics.