yes, i have. it's hard NOT to! at the end of the day, those are VERY real people behind the screens, so a bond is bound to form in most cases.
Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado
I think many lush members have had an emotional attachment to another member.
I also think this is one of many factors that make Lush so addictive. Many of us have left here (some after breakups) only to return again.
in a way yes by sharing your time you get attached and even tell secrets .
When I first joined I met someone and we just connected or I thought we did. I still wonder about Don and if he is ok, but I vowed never to make that mistake again. I do not become too involved, it's just not worth it. I seen him online a year or so after he said goodbye, but no contact. I've learned a lot since then and the experience has taught me to become more cold hearted. I have him and my ex to thank for that. Online "relationships" just arent worth it.
Another poll of mine with surprising results. I expected there to be more votes for attachment to online partners but not as many as voted yes. Thanks for voting and posting but feel free to keep voting on the poll. I would love to see a long term result. Lisa xx
I easily fell victim to online romance not so long ago. I was missing certain aspects from my home life and that void was easily filled online. I won't go into much detail but it was very similar to previous comments. I finally had to pull away because I felt as though I was leading a double life. It did a number on my head. The "break-up" was far worse than any one I have ever experienced in real life. I had opened up and shared too much of my personal life and it made matters worse in the end.
I have a few friends that I am closer with online then some, but no where near like I was before. I don't think I will ever be able to go down that road again.
I'm still new at this and not sure if I'm cut out for it just because of that...I keep telling myself to just live in the moment
I'm still new at this and not sure if I'm cut out for it just because of that...I keep telling myself to just live in the moment
I'm still new at this and not sure if I'm cut out for it just because of that...I keep telling myself to just live in the moment
I formed a very good friendship with someone on here (she knows who she is) and I was sad when it came to an abrupt end.
If by chance you're reading this, drop me a message or an email just letting me know how things are with you.
Similar to the other poll posted (the concept is the same).
It is easy to get attached online very easy and the reason is because we are really attached to ourselves. We project an ideal into the online relationship because they are never less then ideal (ok maybe when they don't have a good reason why they disappeared for 3 days). When there is a void sometimes we fill it with another person they become all the things we are missing (they pay attention to us?? why because we can type endlessly and they can respond at some point in the future ... while watching sports on TV), it becomes a comfort, a place to share, a safe place for us and so we become attached to the idea that we created. Yes there is a real person on the other side of the computer (well at least for the next 50 years or so AI IS getting better).
However, you never had to sit and listen to them chew food, you never had to have them forget to buy a present, you never had to see how they can never look a person in the eyes, or how their laugh would grate on your ears. You never had to see them wake up hair all over, no make up, and what on earth are they wearing (or not wearing) ... and you never had to watch them succumb to being sick (common cold to much more serious illnesses), all you can do is imagine and by imagine you imagine the person closest to you and that would be uh .. YOU.
Does this mean that online can't be real? not at all, however, it is far easier to fall into a trap of loving yourself online then when there is a real person sitting there across from you with glowing eyes, soft dreamy voice, and a really awful looking mole on his cheek ... point being you never see the imperfections online ...( well except for my horrible spelling and grammar usage) you just see things how you want to see them, how you want to feel them and that is why it can hurt so much more then in real life when it all comes crashing down.
As said on the other post, if you are real, honest, compassionate and kind (even with the riding crop) you can expect the same from others and form lasting friendships that will be very real, and you will also meet lots of people that suck you in and drain your soul, making you feel worse then that night you thought the 16 oz glass was water ... however, if you form connections with people, you will form them online, however there is a small subtle difference and that attachment online is also a little attachment to ourselves ...
Relationships in real life are ephemeral enough, where the people with whom we're intimate on whatever level are face to face with us. Even in real life, the knots that bind us together with people we consider our friends easily become untied. So considering how easily real life relationships dissipate, it should be an indicator of how much easier it is for an online relationship of any kind to evaporate. What's true about real life is doubly true online. It's completely natural to like and therefore become attached to someone and inevitably, you run the risk of disappointment when the person in question doesn't maintain a similar interest. But you have to keep the door open. Many of us are here for company with whom we can express that part of ourselves that (often) you just can't express in our real lives. It's just a question of trying to estimate who will really make your efforts worthwhile.
Just speaking for myself, here on lush, if I meet someone who shows an interest in interacting, I make a strong effort to show attention to them, taking for granted my attentions are indicative of my interest. While I don't expect them to match me sentence for sentence or posting as may gifs on my page as I post on theirs, I think it's fair to say if they don't reciprocate on something approaching an equal level, then they're probably not interested. Unanswered letters; being told they're "busy"; their lack of curiosity about your own well being or anything else about you; an indifference to holding up their end of a dialog; any of which is a pretty good sign that they're not really going to become a true friend. When, through their lack of effort I realize their interest just isn't there, my own efforts start to dwindle. I stop trying and go to making the same half-hearted going-through-the-motions effort the person in question makes for me.
Considering how many have initially expressed strong enthusiasm for interaction and then just suddenly disappear or at least don't make any real effort to communicate with you, it's better never take for granted the relationships to be found here. Be open to the possibility, but don't take anyone at face value. In time, you'll find out the truth. Just be patient and without expectation.
I'd say be careful online about whom you have repeated intimate contact with... you are likely to form an emotional attachment to that person... It's natural I guess, and once an attachment is formed, it can be very difficult to break. So, going slow at the start of a cyber relationship, especially when it comes to cybersex, is important. It is good to learn as much as you can about your partner before you become heavily involved. I think many relationship problems could be avoided, if we avoid rushing in to forming an emotional attachment with someone.
My online relationships tend to be either casual friends or "one night stands". I have never really been emotionally close to anyone online, even cybersex partners (and I haven't had cyber in years now). I supposed if I was unattached IRL, it might be more likely to happen.
I think we are hard-wired to form emotional attachments, either friendships or romantic interests, with others regardless of the context, real life or cyber. I find that a rather hopeful sentiment.
Obviously you need to be careful, IRL or online, for fakery and duplicity. And it is easier to be duped online. But I like that emotional attachments form. Even if it leads to hurt someday.
