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Can we dispense with the labels "MILF" and "Cougar"?

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Guest
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I always thought that MILF and COUGAR were labels that certain sexual types of women pinned on themselves. I've seen many users here and on other sites, particularly older women who like to attract the younger men refer to themselves as MILF or COUGAR. If it's not for you then just say so in your profile write-up.
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I just read the whole thread and all I can think about is the pool of gummy bears.

dpw
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Quote by daddysweetheart
I just read the whole thread and all I can think about is the pool of gummy bears.


What? Hairy gay men wearing rubber?
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Quote by MadMartigan
Only if you fling me softly and into a pool of gummy bears.


dpw-this yum yum...

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How else we gonna label them then?
LASARDaddy
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Quote by PhareDuFour
Is it just me, or do other members here find the terms "MILF" and "Cougar" derrogatory and demeaning?

The acronym MILF for Moms I Love to Fuck originated in the film America Pie as far as I know. So, in its original context it involved an underage male wanting to have sex with one of his friend's mother.

In the meantime this has somehow spiraled out as a general wishy-washy term to encompass all women over the age of 25 who may or may not have children as "second-rate" sexual partner choices. I don't know why women over the age of 30 who enjoy having sex often are somehow portrayed as "desperate", "sex-craved", "nymphos" or "wanton".

What does the world expect? Women who have brought a child into the world are supposed to be thereafter prude?

Doesn't anyone find it strange that the expression "DILF" Dads I Love to Fuck is non-existant?

The same thing goes of the expression "Cougar". Why is there a word for a 40+ year-old woman who has sexual relations with a 20- year-old male, but for the reverse situation, there is no word? No one says "Dirty Old Man" for a 40 year-old man who has a 20 year-old girlfriend. He has to be at least 80 for this to apply. And no one calls him a "wolf" or a "coyote" or a "jackel" or anything like that.

For the story category BDSM, they don't call it "Perverted Sex".

For the story category Gay Male, they don't call it "Faggot Sex".

Hence, I would like to see the story category "MILF Sex" disappear or be re-named. MILF is sexist and derrogatory, especially when there is no "DILF Sex" category.


I understand an aversion to words because I have a couple that were NEVER allowed in our house. "Stupid" and "Dumb". I didn't give a fuck about anything else and I still don't. Those two are forbidden. There ARE stupid and dumb people but those words are not synonymous. Dumb means you just don't know, "whatever", but stupid means you can't learn it.

MILF carries absolutely no age definition for the guy. It implies women that may , or may not, have children. Usually older than "Teen", a little more mature, but I've known several 18 year olds that fall into that area. All three were very sick for years and survived by growing up and taking charge. All worked for me and I would have turned my store over to two of them. The third still had a lot of "Teen" left.

All three stop in and talk, give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, they are like my kids but all are MILF candidates. I would never touch any, but I wish I could some times. Some times it takes me a couple of seconds to switch my mind from MILF to DAUGHTER thinking but I do it.

"Cougar" is derogatory. I don't like it particularly. I had a 50 year old girlfriend when I was 25. It was a year long and I would have married her. I still love her 46 years later and wonder what happened to her. She was smarter than me though. She was a friend of my mothers and got embarrassed, I think.

I have problems with "Reluctance" too. I don't make a lot of distinction to that and the other "R" word that's forbidden here. All it means is that she said, "The hell with it, I'm tired of fighting." Vs. "(screaming) the "R" word". I thought "No" meant "No"? I understand and completely agree wit not allowing stories based on that word but not the very strict (I was spanked once) requirement to not say it. That reminds me of Joseph McCarthy and the forbidden word, "Communism", I hope I don't get spanked for using that word.

I can't do the BDSM thing either and I see that you do. If that's your choice, fantastic. But I like women that can stand toe to toe with God in a screaming got to hell fight, and not back down. If that's you too, again, fantastic. Your choice is all that counts for you.

I personally find the word "Slut" offensive. It carries meanings about a woman that I don't like. I read it all the time though and I don't throw books away because it's in there. It's a word, that's all. I encounter it in pretty much every category I read so it's hard to not read it.

In my thirties and forties the term DILF would not have worked for me, I am not a pedaphile. After about forty-five it would mean women over twenty-five or so and that was okay. Still is actually and, no, it wouldn't really offend me. I'd actually, at my age and condition, be very flattered that someone that young thought I was sexy. I don't see it myself.

Actually words really only carry the meaning the listener give them. It's my responsibility as the speaker to ensure you understand what I mean. That's why politicians and preachers are so effective. To many people don't think and miss what meant, not what's said.

As an actor I had to learn that or my performance sucked. Watch Shakespeare performed by a real actor, Richard Burton would be good, and then amateurs. It'll blow your mind.

Words are the most powerful things we have so don't throw any away. If you do you won't understand when you're attacked with them. I watch my words carefully. Even an unthinking aside can hurt someone.

Maybe this is where the term came from.


I am always a gentleman.
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I agree with some things said, and I kinda like the terms: jackel, coyote, and wolf! lol.

I don't really see the terms as that derrogatory though. Either they fit or not: Cougar, MILF - let us not forget GILF. I'm sorry you feel they are offensive, but I do not take them on as the most offensive terms, and frankly am NOT offended. More and more restrictions on sites that the draw is to be open sexually, just because some people cannot be understanding or literate enough and lower the bar does not mean we need to keep watering down and get all politically correct or think "It offends" people... because people have a choice, for one, and sexually we are all into different things and some maybe you are and I am not and vice-versa.

Except for the "desperate" you described me and if anyone wants to be offended or feel something was said derrogatory I could look at you and feel that way. Seeing as I am in that category as a mom who is dating someone very much younger along those lines, and have been with ths person a good while now, I don't care if he or someone calls me a sexy MILF, lol. I never called myself a Cougar because I didn't see that, I did not see that I seek out to prey sexually on younger men, or seek them out at all. The older I got the more the tables seemed to turn from older to younger. It doesn't have to be a stero-type, no, but MILF implies the hot mom as viewed by the horny, fascinated young man. It's always existed (and whether they dressed sexual or put that out there or not). Jealous? or if you just feel strong dislike for the terms, then do not use it, but I have no problem with it. The category simply explains something in simple terms we identify. There are women on Lush who like being called "sluts" too! I personally don't like the term or word used sexually or otherwise in some circles of "Bitches" but I just don't use that word myself as my own preference and personal choice and refrain from being around people who do. Kink is kink and such labels may be silly but many are guilty, sometimes they mean no harm or wrong by it.

Urban Dictionary for street SLANG: MILF

I like what someone else asked, "What term/category" do you purpose to use then in its sted? (Or do you not like the category altogether?) There is the category of "Mature." Personally, I want no more categories removed. I dislike that ones were disallowed to begin with or removed for various and obvious reasons. I might not like every category either, and I understand that there are some double-standards in these sexual terms just as there has existed in male and female relationships (and I am not for that either) but I am equal opportunoty person who thinks there should be something for everyone.
GunGirlJess
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I loathe the term "MILF". In the way people hate vegetables or spiders....
HeraTeleia
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Quote by gunshopgirl
I loathe the term "MILF". In the way people hate vegetables or spiders....


Yup, referring to me as a MILF online will get you defriended and blocked, and referring to me as a MILF in real life will end our date/makeout session/whatever very quickly.
Want to spend some time wallowing in a Recommended Read? Pick one! Or two! Or seven!

VanGogh
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Quote by PhareDuFour
Is it just me, or do other members here find the terms "MILF" and "Cougar" derrogatory and demeaning?

The acronym MILF for Moms I Love to Fuck originated in the film America Pie as far as I know. So, in its original context it involved an underage male wanting to have sex with one of his friend's mother.

In the meantime this has somehow spiraled out as a general wishy-washy term to encompass all women over the age of 25 who may or may not have children as "second-rate" sexual partner choices. I don't know why women over the age of 30 who enjoy having sex often are somehow portrayed as "desperate", "sex-craved", "nymphos" or "wanton".

What does the world expect? Women who have brought a child into the world are supposed to be thereafter prude?

Doesn't anyone find it strange that the expression "DILF" Dads I Love to Fuck is non-existant?

The same thing goes of the expression "Cougar". Why is there a word for a 40+ year-old woman who has sexual relations with a 20- year-old male, but for the reverse situation, there is no word? No one says "Dirty Old Man" for a 40 year-old man who has a 20 year-old girlfriend. He has to be at least 80 for this to apply. And no one calls him a "wolf" or a "coyote" or a "jackel" or anything like that.

For the story category BDSM, they don't call it "Perverted Sex".

For the story category Gay Male, they don't call it "Faggot Sex".

Hence, I would like to see the story category "MILF Sex" disappear or be re-named. MILF is sexist and derrogatory, especially when there is no "DILF Sex" category.


Quite frankly, I don't care if a guy (friend of my daughter or son) calls me a MILF. I don't care if anyone calls me a cougar. The fact of the matter is that I prefer to date younger men (meaning 10 years or more younger than myself).

Women that call themselves "Milf/Cougar" ... well, that's just wrong. The title is given to you, you don't call yourself any of those things .... if you do ... you don't have much class. And ... a female at the age of 25 is NOT a milf ..... a guy who is 20 would NOT look at a 25 year old female as a milf, even if she's had kids. A milf is honestly, the mother of a friend ... similar in age to your own mother.

Is the term sexist? Probably. But what the fuck isn't sexist by title.

DILF's have not caught on because most "girls" are not that interested in a guy who is 20-30 years older .... give 'em a few years and it changes from DILF to "Mature Man" .... whether he has children or not is irrelevant.

sithgirl
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Dancewithme
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I have liked and loved women of ALL ages and quite honestly could care less what people say about me in who I have feelings for. Note I did not say "her."
"Age" to me is a maturity thing anyway. Wholesomeness is what gets my attention.