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Age Gaps! (Big or small)

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How does the saying go... Your only as old as the girl/guy you feel....
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I have had several relationships with women who were 20 years younger than me and a few that were 30 years younger.
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Quote by JohnC
It all depends on what the relationship is about. If it is sex, the age gap is not such a big deal and yes, can be sexy. But if it is for a real, long lasting, and meaningful relationship, I think it is best to keep the age gap fairly close. Which is older or younger does not really matter much.

But like I said, if all you are interested in is a fuck, fling, or infatuation.... hey knock your socks off.


Well - from experiences with my husband who's 11 years my senior - age doesn't play a part until age plays it's hand with the older.

Our marriage, sex life - and everything else - is affected by his health issues which are complicated by his age.

You have to be dedicated to someone to make it work as the years go by - one gets older far sooner than the other, it can change things.

In my reality: I'm having to accept that I won't grow old with him like I thought I would - that was not my plan but that is the reality.
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Quote by Metilda


Well - from experiences with my husband who's 11 years my senior - age doesn't play a part until age plays it's hand with the older.

Our marriage, sex life - and everything else - is affected by his health issues which are complicated by his age.

You have to be dedicated to someone to make it work as the years go by - one gets older far sooner than the other, it can change things.

In my reality: I'm having to accept that I won't grow old with him like I thought I would - that was not my plan but that is the reality.

Sorry to hear that. That type of situation can happen even if both are the same age though... unfortunately.

I don't personally consider 11 years much of an age gap though, less so depending on where both people are age-wise. But indeed, the wider the gap, the more difficult and thus more dedicated you have to be.
Raised on Blackroot
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For sex? Probably not too much. But I'm not one too attracted to the lovely cougars out there. 40 would be my max.

For a real relationship?

There's something to be said for generational gaps. Both in thinking and in physical activity.

As I'm in my early 20s still, I plan on living an extremely active life for as long as possible and I'd want my SO to be able to keep up with me. And I also want to be at similar points in my life. I'd feel uncomfortable being with a woman who's already had a kid, is well into an established career, and so on.

I want to be able to learn things right along with my partner. And I find my interests more in line with people my age.

Plus, knowing how difficult it is to have children as you get older (and I'm still nowhere near the point to start thinking about kids, though I certainly want them) I'd actually prefer someone a bit younger than I am when I reach that point.

But, 2-5 years doesn't matter so much as far as a gal being older than me. 10 would just be too much. Even 8.
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I think that chronological age gaps matter less than, I guess you could say, mental age gaps. I know its not the same, but one of my best non sexual friends is 16 years older than me. We think pretty similarly and get on well. If there was a sexual element, that might complicate it a little, but I can't see how, maybe because I don't see her in a sexual way.

Sexual wise, I've had relationships with people both younger and older. As I said in the past, if both parties are happy, the relationship works and no laws are being broken, what's the harm in an age gap?
Cheeky Chick
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I use to think that there was a problem with too big of an age gap, until I met a guy who I fell deeply for. We dated six months, and it was wonderful, or so I thought and in the end he claimed that because of his age he couldn't settle down so young. There were times when things were hard, and it was weird dating someone ten years my age.

I know some people will say it all depends on the person”s”, but I just don’t agree. If the younger party is in the teenage years (even being consenting adults 18+) they are still in fact a TEENAGER, and therefore still too young for someone who is 28 to be with. I’m not sure if there is a cap, I really don’t know.

I think personally I’d never date anyone under 25 right now. And I’m sure as I get older, that age will move up. I have only dated two men younger than me; one was ten years younger, the other three years. Both ended, of course and for different reasons, but the younger one was due to him still being “young”.

If it’s just about sex, I can see how it might not matter to some. If however you are looking for long term, I just don’t see it happening. Though, I know there are cases where people have a big age gap, and get on fine. The chances are better, if the younger one isn't still “young”, just younger than the older partner.

That’s just my thoughts on it. There is such a thing as someone being too young for you. I learned my lesson the hard way.
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It really depends upon the mental connection along with the physical. At 39 I dated a 19 yo dancer, and we were really in love. The only reason we broke up was I wanted to get married and have children and she didn't. When I was 49 I was dating a 19 yo hot athletic type university student, the sex just got OK after the initial few months. I started to realize that the age gap here was a problem. I took her to see "Schindler's List" and had to explain the Holocaust and WWII to her. The following year at 50 I met and married a girl 26, a PA to a CEO, and we were married in 8 days. We've been married now 16 years and have two fantastic kids. Age is nothing without the maturity to have and handle all the ups & downs of an intimate relationship.
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Quote by JohnC

Sorry to hear that. That type of situation can happen even if both are the same age though... unfortunately.

I don't personally consider 11 years much of an age gap though, less so depending on where both people are age-wise. But indeed, the wider the gap, the more difficult and thus more dedicated you have to be.


True point - life can swat you down whether you're young or old.
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Age is just a number....

I never ask a woman her age because I simply don't care.
My experience is that age really doesn't matter.

I had hot steaming sex/relations with younger woman, woman my age and woman much older.
It all depends on the woman itself.

What I do notice is that older woman are more relaxed and have stronger confidence.
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Age is but a number however I prefer men older than me. I seem to have better relationships with them. The oldest I have been with was 24 years older than me.
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My ex and I are ten years apart. I didn't really notice it except when he told me what he did in the 90s. I didn't find it sexy or anything.
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And I've found that I almost always go for older women.
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I dont think I could ever go younger, I would want someone who is older and more experienced. I know age doesn't always equal experience but I just find a guy older than myself a huge turn on. I think 50 is my cut off age...
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well damn, gues i am to old for you smile
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well damn, guess i am to old for you smile
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Age does not matter to me , 18 to 65 I do not care, it is all about is there a connection, a friendship.
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1st husbad was 21 years my senior, we were compatible in the beginning divorced not because of age or lack of sex...but his selfishness. current is 11 years older, very kind and giving but due to health issues alot has stopped I have only dealt with a few younger bucks for a short time usually the intimacy is satisfactory, but the maturity has not blossomed yet and that puts me off....
Princess Blondie
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I think to big of an age gap is rather weird, no matter how old you are. As you get older, it might get a little less odd. If you're like 60 and date someone in their 40's.

If you're like 30, and date someone who is 18 that's just to young. I say 18 since that is the legal age of consent.

I don't see what a 30 year old would have in common with someone so young. Ya, there might be some stuff, but enough to be with dating that would turn into something real? No, I doubt it.

I know a lot of people will say sure they can, but I don't believe it.
†Jinxy Approved†

Rookie Scribe
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I personally would find it impossible for me in my late 30s to seriously date a woman who was 21. Now does that keep me from looking? Heck No! In a sexual sense it is all about that person' mindset. I had an affair when I was 21 with a friend married mom who was 42. I have continued my physical desire for older women but I also of course enjoy younger girls but I have recently developed a rule of I should at least be able to legally buy them a drink! 18 has gotten a bit too young. In an actual relationship she would have to be my age there has to be something there beyond sex.
Active Ink Slinger
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10 yrs plus or minus seems to work well for me, after that it can feel a little weird. I find younger ladies have some tight bodies and high energy, but older women are uninhibited and more eager to please.

Plus, there's no cool song about younger women making beautiful lovers.
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It's all up to the individual..me personally like the age gap pretty close. It's just me
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When I was 23 I had a 36 y.o. g/f and highly valued all the incredible experiences we had. Like that old cliche: "If it feels right, do it". Usually my SO's had been within a couple years of me - just turned out that way, but I would be totally amenable to seeing someone substantially older or younger than me.
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I always go for a man at least 10 years older. One of my long term relationships was with a man who was 23 years older, I ended up playing nurse most of the time, but am not complaining. He was a good man and deserving.

I get asked out a lot by younger guys. They are fun to go Dancin with.
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I, obviously, have no issue with age gaps so long as we have similar tastes and opinions. If we've nothing in common, there's no.point to a relationship, no matter the age. Plus, I've found that with my ... advanced maturity, I can speak more easily with those a bit older than me.
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To this old chicken hawk age is irrelevant, and always has been to me. I've dated women younger than myself by a couple of decades and one who was 12 years my senior.
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I tend to like older than me. Too much younger and I would be raiding high school graduations. I don't plan to do that. Love who you love and if it works for you then great as I see it.
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LOVE is uncertain and unpredictable and comes with it is the biggest confusion about age being such a big deal. Age difference in the relationship would matter only if it matters to you. YOU need to ask yourself. You’d be bothered by it only if it bothers you deep inside. If you’re uncomfortable being with someone who’s outside your age group, then don’t. It’s not worth the trouble. At the end of the day, YOU need to be comfortable in your partner’s arms.
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ten years older or younger is good for me
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He could be my dad or maybe my grandpa. It doesn't matter. His mind, body and soul attract me.