Wondering If I Am The Only One....... House in Order

5 Aug 2013

You know the truth of the matter is, you never know when you are going to get a piece of knowledge that truly works to start changing the way you think.

Not long ago I was having a conversation with someone who I consider a good friend. They were speaking about how they had just taken their kids to their grandparents house and had a great time but on the way home one of the children asked their mother "How come it always seems like Grandma and Grandpa never fight".

Needless to say this led to a discussion later that night between the parents.

That really hit me and then I started thinking about some of the things I have run into on in the BDSM community, this site over the year I have been involved and other sites.

As most of you know I am not the most prolific poster. Nor am I the kind of person who is going to just start a topic out of the blue. But after a year here I have seen a consistency and I just had to vent.

I worked long and hard for my title of Master as many of us that have been in lifestyle for a at least 5 or more years have. And I was always taught on my way up that there was a standard that you lived up to when you carried that title. One of the things that was most important was to always have "your house in order".

Before you can exercise a full power exchange relationship with another person. Before you can take on the responsibility of having someone TRUST you with their mind, body and soul. You have to be able to trust yourself with your own.

It means that if you are in a relationship, you need to make sure that first one is solid and that you have established ways to talk before you go back to training or trying to expand your presence as a Master or Mistress.

Even the best of us make mistakes, take risks and sometimes have relationships that don't go the way we want. But I think the true measure of how effective one is as a Master or Mistress is how those people relate with you after they are no longer a part of your lifestyle life or family. And how your lifestyle family treats them.

None of us are perfect, but as Master's and Mistress's we have a responsibility to those that we proudly call our subs or slaves to work hard at trying to achieve that perfection.

Am I there. No.

But I just don't know if everyone still believe's this way that carries the title of Master or Mistress.

So that leads to this vent and the obvious can of worms it is going to open. But I would like to know who else might agree that the community seems to maybe have lessened what we are looking for out of someone we call Master or Mistress.

If you have read 50 Shades of Gray and think that you are ready to be a dom or a sub. Then you have a lot to learn.

Follow my slave's blog slave skye's real life blog if we can get 100 followers she is going to start posting pictures!!! I know there are at least 100 of you that want to see that click the link enter your email and follow. We hit 100 then she has said she will post a picture of herself.

5 Aug 2013

With the advent of the internet and chatrooms, as well as other aspects of the modern world, the BDSM community has grown. A lot. With large and sudden growth, standards are lowered. Not necessarily by intention, but simply by reflex--not everyone bothers to educate themselves on the standards of a community they jump into, and not everyone within a community cares enough to offer that education in the first place.

I, for one, still stand by the old standards and completely agree with you. How can someone who cannot even control himself maintain control over someone else? No matter what their ego tells them, they can't.

One's journey to mastery must begin and end as a journey of self-mastery.

6 Aug 2013

Not everyone who calls themselves a Master or a Mistress are. Their ego's lead them to believe they can concur every person who says they are a submissive or a slave. I find it amusing especially on here, to sit back and watch it all play out. It really is easy to spot those who are genuine and those who are nothing but posers, and that goes for those on either side of the D/s fence. From my years of observation on here a good majority of those who call themselves and E-Master do so for the sole purpose of e-bossing a woman around and gaining e-sexual favors from her and giving nothing in return other than his egotistical version of a e-D/s relationship. If its all fantasy for them, more power to them, but be upfront about that don't pretend to be something you are not.

It truly is a 'no' wonder why many keep who they are a secret or just take a huge step back and re-evaluate the online relationship whether it be BDSM or vanilla.

I mean no offense to the OP or anyone else whose posted before me, these are just my thoughts at this particular time (well to be honest for a long long time now) on a part of the original topic presented.

6 Aug 2013

A real master would never post a topic like this. Sounds like whining. A real master wouldn't whine about other masters. Other masters shouldn't even register.

Also, working years to be a master... Personality isn't a skill to be practiced. It's not like painting or playing guitar. Just sayin.

6 Aug 2013

Quote by Magical_felix
A real master would never post a topic like this. Sounds like whining. A real master wouldn't whine about other masters. Other masters shouldn't even register.

Also, working years to be a master... Personality isn't a skill to be practiced. It's not like painting or playing guitar. Just sayin.

You mean this is it? My personality will never get better like my cooking or nursing skills? Just shit! You went and popped that balloon Felix. Thanks!

6 Aug 2013

Quote by Kristind

You mean this is it? My personality will never get better like my cooking or nursing skills? Just shit! You went and popped that balloon Felix. Thanks!

If you can cook well and nurse a guy when he's being a baby when sick then that is all the personality you need.

*coughs* I feel a bit under the weather.

6 Aug 2013

Quote by Magical_felix
A real master would never post a topic like this. Sounds like whining. A real master wouldn't whine about other masters. Other masters shouldn't even register.

That isn't true at all.

Would you trust a heart surgeon that hasn't been to medical school? Would you hire a lawyer that hasn't been admitted to the bar? At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if you would. Such people, upon being discovered, are treated as criminals.

If someone expects to carry a title, they should expect to be held to the standards which that title represents. Calling BS where BS is to be called is not "whining," it is a necessity.

And, really. This is a community. Other people are going to, and they should, "register."

Quote by Magical_felix
Also, working years to be a master... Personality isn't a skill to be practiced. It's not like painting or playing guitar. Just sayin.

That also isn't true at all.

If someone expects to carry a title, they should expect to be held to the standards which that title represents.

Would you call a martial artist that has never thrown a punch a "master" of martial arts? Would you call an artist who has never dipped a brush into paint a "master" painter?

There are things which need to be learned in order to become a master of anything. There is experience which needs to be had, and maturity which needs to be gained. It is, indeed, something to be practiced. Even the most natural born alpha must be trained in the arts of leadership before his talents can be fully expressed.

And all of this really just echoes what Ravyn said. Not everyone who calls themselves a Master or a Mistress are, because there is a lot more to being something than simply saying that you are.

Are you sure?