Part of the confusion may stem from this modern tendency to make verbs become nouns (yes, there's a grammar to BDSM, too). Basic: Subject (noun) verb (action) object (noun). He dominates her/him. She dominates him/her. He/she submits to him/her. And so forth. When you apply the verbs dominate/submits to as labels: He/she is a dominant. He/she is a submissive. Then it gets confuses as hell. Because there is no object. Dominant over who or what? Submissive to who or what?
I think this is true of Master/slave as well. One can be Master of something (a craft, an Art, a slave), but the blanket term Master implies nothing specific. For a slave, there has to be something they are slave to (an obsession, an addiction, a Master who owns, etc.). Dominant and submissive are, in my humble opinion, personality traits, part of the makeup of a person's self, but as personality traits they are not absolutes (as too many people take them to be). Being submissive might only apply to submitting to a specific person rather than submitting to anyone/anything. On the other hand, there does seem to be people who are, by nature or personality, shy, retiring, fearful, easily led, etc. who could be considered generically submissive.
I think we have to consider people as individuals with many facets to their personality and self, not apply these "labels" of this or that. But that's just me...perhaps...
Some very good insights on this thread! I am pleased to see the conversations going on here! Slippery, let Me add a little something to this. IMHO ( yes humble opinion) part of the confusion here as I believe Mr. Dark was trying to point out is that people sometimes misuse the word submissive and dominant. you can be submissive without being A submissive. Just as you can be dominant without being a dominant. The words refer to your state of mind and your attitude towards others. Perhaps they should come up with another word to "name" the players in the game. That is why I call Myself a Master - because it says I am a dominant without mixing up the name/action ideas.
But a true Master is more than just a Dom, I believe. Because you can be a Dom for a short time in the bedroom. You can play the Dom role during sex games. but I LIVE this life - it is who I am. I cannot separate Master from Jonathan. That is what makes a Master. the giving your life to the D/s realm. I have been a Dom all My life. But I have been a Master for only part of it. Does that make sense?
Hey everyone, I would like to say my lovely wife and I have been practicing this lifestyle for just over a year now full time. I lead and she follows, we have yet to settle on a titles for our roles as they mean nothing to us. At the end of the day we are married, our lives are intertwined and while we are still learning so much about this world. We try to discuss as much as we can together, D/s requires the same attentiveness and communication as all relationships. I cherish my wife/sub she is my everything. It is so fulfilling to see the joy in her eyes as I try to handle the gift of her submission, to guide her and myself down the path of fulfillment. I have yet to come across any black and white rules for any relationship of any class. I dominate, love, guide, care for, and nurture my sub. In turn she follows my guidance and relishes in my love. One of my favorite things in this relationship of mine is prying into her heart to hear her laughter and her intelligence. No title will ever change that. Our relationship works like every other mutual respect and love.
I get what you are saying and for me personally I am much more than just a submissive. Yes its who I am, just as my gender is female and my hair is brunette. I am not limiting myself in any way. I am a willful, strong, opinionated outspoken woman who will tell anyone anything if asked and sometimes if not. I am also a mother, a student and avid reader and an occassional writer of erotica, I could go on but you get the gist. Everything about me is what makes me, well me and that includes my submissiveness. Its just one part that makes up the woman who is me :)
