Lurker
0 likes
I'm curious, is there a difference between a submissive and a slave? I feel that there must be one.
Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
Submissive vs. Slave
last reply
22 replies
6.4k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Some people use the words the same way, but there is a difference.
All slaves are submissives, but not all submissives are slaves.
To bring it to the simplest terms a sub can turn off the role at times. For example. There is a "play time" where the dom and sub set parameters and during that time the sub is acting in their submissive role.
With a slave it is a life choice. A Master/Mistress unlike a dom doesn't take off their Master/Mistress hat when they have a slave. If that slave is required to do something then that is the duty of that slave. Now does this mean that all people in the community agree with this, no.
Princess is my slave. She lives as my slave 24/7, all I have to do is give her an order, request or duty and she will perform it. There is no definition of where, when or where as far as what parts of her life are exempt unless in her contract. While with a sub there is a little more "freedom".
I always like to state that being a dom or sub comes with a "uniform" while being a Master/Mistress and Slave come with long term and permanent commitment.
All slaves are submissives, but not all submissives are slaves.
To bring it to the simplest terms a sub can turn off the role at times. For example. There is a "play time" where the dom and sub set parameters and during that time the sub is acting in their submissive role.
With a slave it is a life choice. A Master/Mistress unlike a dom doesn't take off their Master/Mistress hat when they have a slave. If that slave is required to do something then that is the duty of that slave. Now does this mean that all people in the community agree with this, no.
Princess is my slave. She lives as my slave 24/7, all I have to do is give her an order, request or duty and she will perform it. There is no definition of where, when or where as far as what parts of her life are exempt unless in her contract. While with a sub there is a little more "freedom".
I always like to state that being a dom or sub comes with a "uniform" while being a Master/Mistress and Slave come with long term and permanent commitment.
If you have read 50 Shades of Gray and think that you are ready to be a dom or a sub. Then you have a lot to learn.
Follow my slave's blog slave skye's real life blog if we can get 100 followers she is going to start posting pictures!!! I know there are at least 100 of you that want to see that click the link enter your email and follow. We hit 100 then she has said she will post a picture of herself.
Follow my slave's blog slave skye's real life blog if we can get 100 followers she is going to start posting pictures!!! I know there are at least 100 of you that want to see that click the link enter your email and follow. We hit 100 then she has said she will post a picture of herself.
Lurker
0 likes
Quote by ProfessionalMaster
Some people use the words the same way, but there is a difference.
All slaves are submissives, but not all submissives are slaves.
To bring it to the simplest terms a sub can turn off the role at times. For example. There is a "play time" where the dom and sub set parameters and during that time the sub is acting in their submissive role.
With a slave it is a life choice. A Master/Mistress unlike a dom doesn't take off their Master/Mistress hat when they have a slave. If that slave is required to do something then that is the duty of that slave. Now does this mean that all people in the community agree with this, no.
Princess is my slave. She lives as my slave 24/7, all I have to do is give her an order, request or duty and she will perform it. There is no definition of where, when or where as far as what parts of her life are exempt unless in her contract. While with a sub there is a little more "freedom".
I always like to state that being a dom or sub comes with a "uniform" while being a Master/Mistress and Slave come with long term and permanent commitment.
So is there still limits when you have a slave? And isn't the term Master/Mistress used in a dom/sub relationship also?
Cock Connoisseur
0 likes
It all depends on who you ask. As a submissive I personally do not like the term slave. Again this is simply MY opinion. Being a submissive I can live out my desires for this lifestyle and not turn them "off" as PM stated above. I can have all the same rules and demands put upon me as any "slave". I can serve and please 24/7 and still be a submissive not a slave. Its simply a matter of semantics and which word is preferred.
For me its submissive.....And as such my submission is or will be given of my own free will....and mine to give to another. It cannot be taken from me as the word slave tends to imply.
This thread should be interesting with the varied opinions out there. I look forward to keeping an eye on this one.
For me its submissive.....And as such my submission is or will be given of my own free will....and mine to give to another. It cannot be taken from me as the word slave tends to imply.
This thread should be interesting with the varied opinions out there. I look forward to keeping an eye on this one.
Advanced Wordsmith
0 likes
As Ravyn has said, it depends on who you ask. I have seen this debated on many occasions, across many sites, and I don't think there is a truly definitive answer.
My sub and I live the lifestyle 24/7 (as opposed to set 'play' times) But unlike ProfessionalMaster I would never refer to her as my slave, I simply do not like the term. I usually refer to her as my sub or my pet.
Personally I feel the term 'slave' can give the wrong impression for those who are new to the lifestyle, even those who do use the term know that the 'slave' still has the same freedoms and is still a person, this means that they can always say no (use their safe word), to anything that goes beyond their limits of what they are willing to do. (These can and often are pushed in Dom/sub relationships, but that is for another discussion). The term 'slave' can give the impression that the person does not have any rights themselves, and can scare some off or mean some new Dom/mes may be abusive. I'm glad to say this happens very rarely now however, since there is far more education about the lifestyle out there.
My sub and I live the lifestyle 24/7 (as opposed to set 'play' times) But unlike ProfessionalMaster I would never refer to her as my slave, I simply do not like the term. I usually refer to her as my sub or my pet.
Personally I feel the term 'slave' can give the wrong impression for those who are new to the lifestyle, even those who do use the term know that the 'slave' still has the same freedoms and is still a person, this means that they can always say no (use their safe word), to anything that goes beyond their limits of what they are willing to do. (These can and often are pushed in Dom/sub relationships, but that is for another discussion). The term 'slave' can give the impression that the person does not have any rights themselves, and can scare some off or mean some new Dom/mes may be abusive. I'm glad to say this happens very rarely now however, since there is far more education about the lifestyle out there.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
To be honest with you I don't like the term "slave". It feels degrading to the submissive in my opinion. I am a 24/7 submissive. I aim to please my Master, some may say that because of this that I am a slave, but I do not class myself as one and neither does my Master.
I know that it all depends on the Dom/me or sub as to which they feel the sub is but that is my own opinion.
And I also agree with everything Ravyn has said above.
I know that it all depends on the Dom/me or sub as to which they feel the sub is but that is my own opinion.
And I also agree with everything Ravyn has said above.
Teased and Tormented -My very first story and competition entry is now up!
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
I am my Masters slave..He gave me a choice as to what i wanted..I prefer slave as i am his and will do and obey his any order..I do not have a choice...We sat up our guide lines from the beginning and yes I do have a safe word...I am his forever..We meet in real life and are always on together, day and night..we use cam and microphone..When my grandson, who I raise is 18, we shall live together the rest of our lives...As his slave he owns me, I am his...BUT he also allows me my opinion, however, he always has the last word..I love my lifestyle..BGdoing my best to be good..
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
To me, the only difference is that a slave is one full time as opposed to a submissive, who submits only during scenes.
Slaves have limits just like anyone. Where those limits are varies, of course, but there is no such thing as a no-limit slave. There are slaves whose limits are beyond those of their masters. That scenario might be describable as "no-limit," in the sense that the slave's limit is not restrictive, since the master does not desire to exceed it. But even if I were capable of ordering it, there are things no slave should ever want to do just because I say so.
I bring all that up because I firmly do not believe limits are in any way a defining characteristic in differentiating submissives from slaves.
Slaves have limits just like anyone. Where those limits are varies, of course, but there is no such thing as a no-limit slave. There are slaves whose limits are beyond those of their masters. That scenario might be describable as "no-limit," in the sense that the slave's limit is not restrictive, since the master does not desire to exceed it. But even if I were capable of ordering it, there are things no slave should ever want to do just because I say so.
I bring all that up because I firmly do not believe limits are in any way a defining characteristic in differentiating submissives from slaves.
My novel, The Society, is available now in the Kindle Store: http://www.amazon.com/The-Society-ebook/dp/B00BPF9U2I
Cock Connoisseur
0 likes
Quote by Sensei
To me, the only difference is that a slave is one full time as opposed to a submissive, who submits only during scenes.
I respectfully disagree with this statement. It all depends on the submissive in question and what they and their Mistress and or Master have discussed and agreed upon. Again I think it boils down to semantics and what the words mean to each who choose whichever label (and I say that word label with hesitation but can't find a more suitable word at the moment, It's been a long day).
I am a submissive and yes I can fully and completely submit my mind, body and soul to another if I choose to do so. That does not make my commitment any less real then one who is called or referred to as a "slave."
A submissive can commit fully and completely to live out the "full time" versus the "scene" based lifestyle and be just as committed to her Master as one who calls themselves a slave.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by Ravyn
I respectfully disagree with this statement. It all depends on the submissive in question and what they and their Mistress and or Master have discussed and agreed upon. Again I think it boils down to semantics and what the words mean to each who choose whichever label (and I say that word label with hesitation but can't find a more suitable word at the moment, It's been a long day).
I am a submissive and yes I can fully and completely submit my mind, body and soul to another if I choose to do so. That does not make my commitment any less real then one who is called or referred to as a "slave."
A submissive can commit fully and completely to live out the "full time" versus the "scene" based lifestyle and be just as committed to her Master as one who calls themselves a slave.
I so agree with you Lady Ravyn a sub and a slave are the same thing entirely it only comes down to what the person prefers to be called thats all as far as the commitment it is the same
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
I can respect the desire to self-identify. However, I do wish to respectfully ask this:
If there is no difference between the two, why do you choose one over the other? In my mind, "slave" is not derogatory or anything other than descriptive. But, perhaps, my mindset is not universal. If you say that there's no difference... Then what's the difference?
If there is no difference between the two, why do you choose one over the other? In my mind, "slave" is not derogatory or anything other than descriptive. But, perhaps, my mindset is not universal. If you say that there's no difference... Then what's the difference?
My novel, The Society, is available now in the Kindle Store: http://www.amazon.com/The-Society-ebook/dp/B00BPF9U2I
Advanced Wordsmith
0 likes
Quote by Sensei
I can respect the desire to self-identify. However, I do wish to respectfully ask this:
If there is no difference between the two, why do you choose one over the other? In my mind, "slave" is not derogatory or anything other than descriptive. But, perhaps, my mindset is not universal. If you say that there's no difference... Then what's the difference?
We have many different words that mean the same thing in language. I think it simply comes down to each persons personal preference.
Lurker
0 likes
Hmm. This is a very interesting thread and debate. I, personally, dislike the word "Slave". I would be more comfortable with "sub" or "puppy" to describe myself. I try to follow the rules set forth even when I am not interacting with my mistress. I do see elements of a "slave" in me b/c if my Mistress tells me to get my ass to [insert location] I damn well do it. I think that "Slave" is a subjective term and might not accuretly reflect the relationship of a dom and sub. Like numerous others have already mentioned I think it boils down to personal preference. In my mind a slave would be closer to what we are shown in television programs like "Spartacus: Veangence" or "Game of Thrones".
Lurker
0 likes
Personally I take the word slave as a more experience person in the lifestyle rather then a submissive. A slave to me is kind of like a Maestro instead of just a Dom(in no way do I mean that slaves have just as much as authority over submissives) I'm just saying they have more experience, have a countless vast knowledge and experience in the lifestyle we choose to live.
At the same time, submissive and slave can also just be a preference in what you would like to be called.
On a last note* Slaves, I think serve more in daily life 24/7. In my opinion, slaves would be seen more in high protocol, have more strict rules as well as harsher punishments. While submissives even though can have the same thing, are not 24/7 and can have medium to low protocol and less harsh punishments.
At the same time, submissive and slave can also just be a preference in what you would like to be called.
On a last note* Slaves, I think serve more in daily life 24/7. In my opinion, slaves would be seen more in high protocol, have more strict rules as well as harsher punishments. While submissives even though can have the same thing, are not 24/7 and can have medium to low protocol and less harsh punishments.
Her Royal Spriteness
0 likes
i don't like using the term 'slave', thought my reasoning is a little different than some of yours. growing up in a predominately african-american neighborhood, i associate it with a something a little different. that doesn't mean i don't have the greatest respect for those of you who use it, but for me, it's got one too many meanings attached. i have always used the term sub, and always will - it's just more comfortable for me.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by EsmeAnne
Personally I take the word slave as a more experience person in the lifestyle rather then a submissive. A slave to me is kind of like a Maestro instead of just a Dom(in no way do I mean that slaves have just as much as authority over submissives) I'm just saying they have more experience, have a countless vast knowledge and experience in the lifestyle we choose to live.
At the same time, submissive and slave can also just be a preference in what you would like to be called.
On a last note* Slaves, I think serve more in daily life 24/7. In my opinion, slaves would be seen more in high protocol, have more strict rules as well as harsher punishments. While submissives even though can have the same thing, are not 24/7 and can have medium to low protocol and less harsh punishments.
I don't think that the punishment should change just because of how often the submissive submits. And that both should be treated the same regardless.
Teased and Tormented -My very first story and competition entry is now up!
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
lee is my sub and not my slave. There is a huge difference. Each Dom/me or Master/Mistress has his or her own line of demarcation. I value lee's mind and that right off the bat keeps her from being my slave. Her submission is her gift to me and I cherish it. - Bud
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by Budlee
lee is my sub and not my slave. There is a huge difference. Each Dom/me or Master/Mistress has his or her own line of demarcation. I value lee's mind and that right off the bat keeps her from being my slave. Her submission is her gift to me and I cherish it. - Bud
Bud that is very well stated.
I will say that I value the opinion of Princess. What I see as the demarcation line is level with which she submits. I understand that this can be different and I will at times move my wording for the benefit of another Master/Mistress when dealing with their sub/slave. But in my mind someone who is in Princess's position is a slave.
If you have read 50 Shades of Gray and think that you are ready to be a dom or a sub. Then you have a lot to learn.
Follow my slave's blog slave skye's real life blog if we can get 100 followers she is going to start posting pictures!!! I know there are at least 100 of you that want to see that click the link enter your email and follow. We hit 100 then she has said she will post a picture of herself.
Follow my slave's blog slave skye's real life blog if we can get 100 followers she is going to start posting pictures!!! I know there are at least 100 of you that want to see that click the link enter your email and follow. We hit 100 then she has said she will post a picture of herself.
Lurker
0 likes
Every D/s relationship is different just like every "vanilla" marriage is different. The use of the word slave is a matter of choice. Some like the word because it has a certain air of permanence and committment. Others dislike it because of it's history. It all depends on how the person feels.
In My case, pet is My slave. She started out as a submissive and played that way for a long time. But when I gave her her Collaring Ceremony, she felt it was time to move to a more devoted term. She chose to use the word slave. When we played as submissive, she used the term Master and Sir interchangeably but once she took the term slave, I also took the term Master and that's what our relationship is now.
In the end it really doesn't matter whether you are a submissive or a slave, A Master or a Sir. What matters is that both of you are happy and satisfied with how your relationship is going.
In My case, pet is My slave. She started out as a submissive and played that way for a long time. But when I gave her her Collaring Ceremony, she felt it was time to move to a more devoted term. She chose to use the word slave. When we played as submissive, she used the term Master and Sir interchangeably but once she took the term slave, I also took the term Master and that's what our relationship is now.
In the end it really doesn't matter whether you are a submissive or a slave, A Master or a Sir. What matters is that both of you are happy and satisfied with how your relationship is going.
Advanced Wordsmith
0 likes
Han135, I don't think you're going to get a clear-cut answer here. I'm the fourteenth person to offer you an opinion.
It would be nice if the community would vote and define if and whether there is a difference between slave and a submissive. But I get the strange feeling it'd be easier to force the Christian community to decide whether Jesus of Nazerathe was really a man or the son of God, than it would be to force the BDSM to define the difference between slave and submissive.
My take on it: There is no difference. I believe that every D/s relationship picks out titles they feel comfortable with.
You can't believe the incredible about of "stuff" I have read in the BDSM community about defining the difference between slaves and submissives. There are people writing handbooks (as self-appointed authorities) that a slave is more submissive than a regular submissive; that a submissive only submits conditionally and a slave submits unconditionally.
Hello?
Aren't these very same slaves telling us all this stuff about SSC, and insist on safe words, etc.? Don't they urge newcomers to negotiate their wants and needs with their potential new Master? Yeah... so much for "unconditional" submitting.
I forgot where I read it, but someone wrote that slave saying they're more submissive than an ordinary sub, is like a married woman saying she's more femine than an unmarried woman - which pretty much sums it up.
Submissives go under all kinds of labels: subs, slaves, sluts, whores, bitches, hoes, boy-toys, pets, kittens, pony boys/girls, daddy-girls, mommy-boys, sissies, fuck-toys, loyal knights, servants, concubines, and courtesans. Take your pick. Whatever floats your rubber ducky.
It would be nice if the community would vote and define if and whether there is a difference between slave and a submissive. But I get the strange feeling it'd be easier to force the Christian community to decide whether Jesus of Nazerathe was really a man or the son of God, than it would be to force the BDSM to define the difference between slave and submissive.
My take on it: There is no difference. I believe that every D/s relationship picks out titles they feel comfortable with.
You can't believe the incredible about of "stuff" I have read in the BDSM community about defining the difference between slaves and submissives. There are people writing handbooks (as self-appointed authorities) that a slave is more submissive than a regular submissive; that a submissive only submits conditionally and a slave submits unconditionally.
Hello?
Aren't these very same slaves telling us all this stuff about SSC, and insist on safe words, etc.? Don't they urge newcomers to negotiate their wants and needs with their potential new Master? Yeah... so much for "unconditional" submitting.
I forgot where I read it, but someone wrote that slave saying they're more submissive than an ordinary sub, is like a married woman saying she's more femine than an unmarried woman - which pretty much sums it up.
Submissives go under all kinds of labels: subs, slaves, sluts, whores, bitches, hoes, boy-toys, pets, kittens, pony boys/girls, daddy-girls, mommy-boys, sissies, fuck-toys, loyal knights, servants, concubines, and courtesans. Take your pick. Whatever floats your rubber ducky.
Si vos postulo me, sed non vis me, oportet me manere.
Sed si vis me, sed non vos postulo me, oportet me abire.
Sed si vis me, sed non vos postulo me, oportet me abire.
Cheeky Chick
0 likes
Quote by Ravyn
It all depends on who you ask. As a submissive I personally do not like the term slave. Again this is simply MY opinion. Being a submissive I can live out my desires for this lifestyle and not turn them "off" as PM stated above. I can have all the same rules and demands put upon me as any "slave". I can serve and please 24/7 and still be a submissive not a slave. Its simply a matter of semantics and which word is preferred.
For me its submissive.....And as such my submission is or will be given of my own free will....and mine to give to another. It cannot be taken from me as the word slave tends to imply.
This thread should be interesting with the varied opinions out there. I look forward to keeping an eye on this one.
I agree with Ravyn.. I'm my Master's submissive. I do as He tells me. He owns me 100% and will do as I'm told, but I don't like the term "slave".. He'll use it from time to time but we both know I'm His submissive. I don't mind Him calling me His slave but I'm His submissive. I just simply don't like the word "slave" for many reasons.
I can serve and please 24/7 and still be a submissive not a slave. Agreed..
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
After him telling me many times he wanted to be my sex slave & spoil me beyond my imagionation my husband & I found a way. It only took us 3 years of playing & reading and hearing him tell me each time we laid in bed & he ravish me. Up to a year ago I had no idea of male chastity devices until one day my husband & I were reading blogs etc online and 2 weeks later it was delivered to our door under cover of course.
It's been just over 12 months & he wears it most everyday, not all day but I would say 85% of the time. The idea was his, not mine but I'm reaping the benefits beyond my wildest imagionation. I keep hold of both keys. One is on my office keys & one is hidden in the house. We ordered the cb6000 & it fits him well. It drives him crazy to say the least.
I learned to love the idea of havng complete control of not only his orgasm but his erections also. They are earned & does he work for them.
I have been accepted complete control of our sex play that is when, where, how, how long. In simplest terms I'm spoiled. Endless pleasure when and how I want it.
It's taken sometime to learn the up and down & ins and outs but the rewards are fantastic. I have read many blogs & comments some are extreme and some are down to earth. I don't count or keep a running tab but if I did, I have learned and now expect no less than 30 enjoyable orgasms to my husbands earned 2 maybe 4 in a good month. It works, believe me it works. Keeping him in a continous state of desire more than 10 to 14 days at a time & turning his sexual energy and thrist around into your own pleasure is not only fun, exiting but very erotic. At a certain point within those days he will do anything to earn his credit toward his release & sexual enjoyment. If only some of you women out there could find a way to introduce this concept into your relationship. I now have my very own (husband) sex slave to play with day in, day out.
It's been just over 12 months & he wears it most everyday, not all day but I would say 85% of the time. The idea was his, not mine but I'm reaping the benefits beyond my wildest imagionation. I keep hold of both keys. One is on my office keys & one is hidden in the house. We ordered the cb6000 & it fits him well. It drives him crazy to say the least.
I learned to love the idea of havng complete control of not only his orgasm but his erections also. They are earned & does he work for them.
I have been accepted complete control of our sex play that is when, where, how, how long. In simplest terms I'm spoiled. Endless pleasure when and how I want it.
It's taken sometime to learn the up and down & ins and outs but the rewards are fantastic. I have read many blogs & comments some are extreme and some are down to earth. I don't count or keep a running tab but if I did, I have learned and now expect no less than 30 enjoyable orgasms to my husbands earned 2 maybe 4 in a good month. It works, believe me it works. Keeping him in a continous state of desire more than 10 to 14 days at a time & turning his sexual energy and thrist around into your own pleasure is not only fun, exiting but very erotic. At a certain point within those days he will do anything to earn his credit toward his release & sexual enjoyment. If only some of you women out there could find a way to introduce this concept into your relationship. I now have my very own (husband) sex slave to play with day in, day out.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by JenniferMM1980
After him telling me many times he wanted to be my sex slave & spoil me beyond my imagionation my husband & I found a way. It only took us 3 years of playing & reading and hearing him tell me each time we laid in bed & he ravish me. Up to a year ago I had no idea of male chastity devices until one day my husband & I were reading blogs etc online and 2 weeks later it was delivered to our door under cover of course.
It's been just over 12 months & he wears it most everyday, not all day but I would say 85% of the time. The idea was his, not mine but I'm reaping the benefits beyond my wildest imagionation. I keep hold of both keys. One is on my office keys & one is hidden in the house. We ordered the cb6000 & it fits him well. It drives him crazy to say the least.
I learned to love the idea of havng complete control of not only his orgasm but his erections also. They are earned & does he work for them.
I have been accepted complete control of our sex play that is when, where, how, how long. In simplest terms I'm spoiled. Endless pleasure when and how I want it.
It's taken sometime to learn the up and down & ins and outs but the rewards are fantastic. I have read many blogs & comments some are extreme and some are down to earth. I don't count or keep a running tab but if I did, I have learned and now expect no less than 30 enjoyable orgasms to my husbands earned 2 maybe 4 in a good month. It works, believe me it works. Keeping him in a continous state of desire more than 10 to 14 days at a time & turning his sexual energy and thrist around into your own pleasure is not only fun, exiting but very erotic. At a certain point within those days he will do anything to earn his credit toward his release & sexual enjoyment. If only some of you women out there could find a way to introduce this concept into your relationship. I now have my very own (husband) sex slave to play with day in, day out.
Why have you copied and pasted the same thing into 4 different topics?
It is rather annoying as you are not getting to the point and this time it is completely off topic.
I am curious as to why you decided that this would be a good idea.
Teased and Tormented -My very first story and competition entry is now up!