Giving Commands and Dialogue............

0 likes 24 Aug 2013

First, I've only had limited experience in terms of what could be described as BDSM activities.

What I have noticed in stories here though is the kinds of commands and language used. I realise that there is a lot of power exchange going on, but in my encounters it was more in the action than the language. Some of the language used is kind in these stories can only be described as very degrading, is that the intent? There's clearly consent (rather a lot of consent!) so what's with the derogatory language?

It's always been something that's puzzled me - like I say it's at odds with the experiences I've had.

What do other people think? The reason I ask is I'm thinking of writing up my experiences as the basis for some future stories, I guess I'd like to know what is the realistic norm? Where my experiences somewhat unusual - I'm looking to get some authenticity in my tales.

Thanks for your time.

*** Just to add, I've done a bit of reading up, so there's SSC and RACK apparently and reading this back I look a total novice - I am smile

So with the SSC side of D/s in mind, what do people think? Go for the real potty mouth or not?

LordOmega

Active Ink Slinger

0 likes 24 Aug 2013

Holy cow what a series of questions if I may I would like to take them one at a time.

Quote by TheTravellingMan
Some of the language used is kind in these stories can only be described as very degrading, is that the intent?

Keeping opinion as far out of it as possible. I think that in many cases the extremism of the language in many of the written stories is to help paint a clearer picture in the mind of someone reading as the weight of the situation that is actually occurring. When you can not hear vocal inflection or see the body language of the people this can be needed. In writing those two things are very hard to bring across which pushes the writer to use a different form of language to bring it across. So I would say the intent is to bring across that the person is supposed to get a feeling of being put in a subservient place even at the expense of what society deems as their dignity.

Quote by TheTravellingMan
There's clearly consent (rather a lot of consent!) so what's with the derogatory language?

This answer is the one I think most people have a hard time understanding. Not saying you are one of those people, just prefacing it with I expect people to double take here. There are people, where the simple act of degrading them actually heightens and increases the gratification and can help take that person in that situation closer to reaching subspace.

The fact is that much like there are people who love intense pain, such as knife, needle, enema and even high end medical play that to others simply looks outrageously extreme. This is also the case with people that have a need to be humiliated and in some cases extremely degraded as part of what helps them reach that plateau.

In fan writing and fiction however, this gets taken to even higher extremes which I think leads to your question. In those cases I chalk it up to creative license.

Quote by TheTravellingMan
The reason I ask is I'm thinking of writing up my experiences as the basis for some future stories, I guess I'd like to know what is the realistic norm?

Another tricky one. The "realistic norm". Having been in this lifestyle for 16 years, I can truly say that I have yet to put my finger on what I would call the "norm" and I definitely have had my eyes opened as to what is realistic. This is something that is individual to each person and I am not sure if there is a "realistic norm". I would say that there is probably stuff that a "majority" of people like. But even within that group I don't know if you would ever get complete agreement.

That is what makes this lifestyle so incredible. It is as individual as the people within it and the couples that are involved. I know that sounds like an almost cop out answer but I think that is just what makes it special.

Finally as to your reason for asking. Because you are thinking of writing out your experiences. I say go for it. Whether they were unusual or not who cares. If you enjoyed them, if they were something that made an impact on you and you want to bring that out for people to read. I think that is incredible and I will read them for sure.

I hope I didn't muddle the intellectual thicket to much.

If you have read 50 Shades of Gray and think that you are ready to be a dom or a sub. Then you have a lot to learn.

Follow my slave's blog slave skye's real life blog if we can get 100 followers she is going to start posting pictures!!! I know there are at least 100 of you that want to see that click the link enter your email and follow. We hit 100 then she has said she will post a picture of herself.

Unknown User

0 likes 24 Aug 2013

Quote by ProfessionalMaster
Holy cow what a series of questions if I may I would like to take them one at a time.

Another tricky one. The "realistic norm". Having been in this lifestyle for 16 years, I can truly say that I have yet to put my finger on what I would call the "norm" and I definitely have had my eyes opened as to what is realistic. This is something that is individual to each person and I am not sure if there is a "realistic norm". I would say that there is probably stuff that a "majority" of people like. But even within that group I don't know if you would ever get complete agreement.

That is what makes this lifestyle so incredible. It is as individual as the people within it and the couples that are involved. I know that sounds like an almost cop out answer but I think that is just what makes it special.

Finally as to your reason for asking. Because you are thinking of writing out your experiences. I say go for it. Whether they were unusual or not who cares. If you enjoyed them, if they were something that made an impact on you and you want to bring that out for people to read. I think that is incredible and I will read them for sure.

I hope I didn't muddle the intellectual thicket to much.

Firstly, apologies, I realise these questions were less than clear and must have appeared somewhat rambling. Second, thank you for taking the time, trouble and brainpower to intellectualise my questions. They're important in making sense of a less than clear thought process (no shit!)

You are right in that it would be very difficult to put myself into the thoughts, drivers and motives of the people involved in what is a very broad sphere of sexual practice. The multitude of variations on a common theme was precisely what I was hoping for in an answer - thanks.

I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting much of an answer but your reply gives me the construct I need here. Far from muddling the intellectual thicket - you've offered a lot of clarity.

LordOmega

Active Ink Slinger

0 likes 24 Aug 2013

Very glad I could help. Any time.

If you have read 50 Shades of Gray and think that you are ready to be a dom or a sub. Then you have a lot to learn.

Follow my slave's blog slave skye's real life blog if we can get 100 followers she is going to start posting pictures!!! I know there are at least 100 of you that want to see that click the link enter your email and follow. We hit 100 then she has said she will post a picture of herself.