Quote by _chica_
Bottom, sub and slave are three tiers of the receiving end in BDSM.
bottom - The receiver in a BDSM scene or session. This is the basic BDSM term for any person on the receiving end of scene play. By itself, the term simply refers to anyone who takes the passive part in play or relationship. A bottom in a relationship will likely receive playful attention from their Top, or discipline in some cases, but will only go further than that if the bottom is also a submissive or slave. Rules given to someone that is strictly a "bottom" and not one of the other two will apply to the bottom's well-being, such as bedtime or being forbidden to smoke or drink.
submissive (sub) - Unlike bottom, which is a simple statement of wanting to be the passive in play, sub refers to someone that, as a personality trait, prefers to surrender control of part of their lives to a Dominant. While a bottom's part in a session ends when the session is over, being submissive is a more constant situation. A submissive will have the same rules that a bottom might have, but could also have some self-serving rules that the Dominant assigns, like always walking behind him or wearing a certain outfit on Tuesdays.
slave - A slave is the ultimate surrender of their own control, becoming the "property" of their Master. As such, every aspect of the slave's life may be controlled by the Master at his whim, within any preset limits established at the start of the relationship. Things that others take for granted, like sitting in a chair instead of on the floor, choosing your own clothes each day or listening to your favorite music on the radio, could very well be a reward to a slave, only given when the Master feels that the slave deserves it.
Each higher tier is a subsection of the tier before it. Thus, all submissives are bottoms, but not all bottoms are submissives. All slaves are both submissive and bottom, but not all bottoms or submissives are slaves
Quote by _chica_
I leave you all with these other informational sites on the lifestyle of bdsm... warning many are very explicit but it would help many understand some of the underlining of this forum thread
[url=]Ambrosio’s BDSM Site[/url] - - A good source for BDSM informational resources.
[url=]
A SUbmissive's Guide [/url] - As the name suggests, this is an online resource for submissives.
[url=]APEX[/url] - Albany Power Exchange - - Event and informational resource. Essays and other resources for BDSM and power exchange relationships.
[url=]BDSM Backroom[/url] - - Library has an extensive list of essays and how-to’s.
[url=]Born Slaves[/url] - - An interesting set of essays dealing with being a slave.
[url=]Internal Enslavement[/url] - - From IE: “Internal Enslavement is a radical answer to the question ‘Just how binding and complete can consensual slavery really be?’ “
[url=]Find A Munch [/url]- - The Munch+Adult Local Link (MALL) Directory- A large and comprehensive resource to locate links to and descriptions of adult locality-based adult social groups and gatherings.
[url=]Kink Academy[/url] An online resource with many educational and instructional videos on various aspects of BDSM, although users must pay a small fee to access all of the content.
[url=]Leather-n-Roses [/url]- - A large collection of D/s, M/s and BDSM essays and other resources.
[url=]Leatherviews[/url] - - Jack Rinella’s web site with some great essays under the “Kinky Info” tab.
[url=]Peter Masters [/url] - - Mr. Master’s writings on Hypnosis, Mastery & slavery, and Dominance & submission. Includes a number of practical how-to guides for techniques and BDSM practices.
[url=]Submissive Loving[/url] - - A source for submissives and dominants interested in learning more about BDSM and the Domination/submission lifestyle. This site’s mission is to provide helpful, sound, and realistic information and advice.
[url=]Submissive Guide[/url] - - Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration. This site is dedicated to helping submissives understand themselves and the service they wish to provide; from sexual to domestic, personal assistant to pain slut and everything in between.
[url=]The Society of Janus[/url] - - The Society of Janus is a San Francisco-based support and education organization for people interested in learning about BDSM. SOJ provides an opportunity to meet others with similar interests in a safe, relaxed atmosphere. They have only one cardinal rule: All BDSM activities can and should be safe, consensual, and non-exploitative.
[url=]The Eulenspiegel Society[/url] - - The oldest and largest BDSM support & education group in the USA
[url=]The Iron Gate[/url] - - A large collection of essays, links, stories and poetry
[url=]A Little Understanding[/url] - This site helps understand what a DD/Lg relationship and all its variations are
Quote by _chica_
here is a list of references I have come accross, I have not read but one of them... but there is plenty of written works out there to help
BOOKS:
General BDSM
Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide To Kinky Sex
by Gloria G. Brame, Fireside
Consensual Sadomasochism: How To Talk About It and Do It Safely
by William A. Henkin, PhD. & Sybil Holliday, CCSSE, Daedalus Publishing
Different Loving
by Gloria Brame, Job Jacobs & Jon Brame, Villard Books
Learning the Ropes: A Basic Guide to Safe and Fun S/m Lovemaking
by Race Bannon, Daedalus Publishing. Out of print, no Kindle
The New Bottoming Book
by Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy (or Liszt), Greenery Press
The New Topping Book
by Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy (or Liszt), Greenery Press
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns
by Philip Miller & Molly Devon, Mystic Rose Books
Sensuous Magic
by Pat Califia, Cleis Press. On Kindle, but out of print
SM 101
by Jay Wiseman, Greenery Press
Looks like we're in for a nasty spell of wether.
Gracie Goes To Hollywood's - True
The Night They Tried to Close RUMPLATIONS Bar (with JamesLlewellyn)
Quote by Grace
I have realised that BDSM and I are not really on the same page, mostly I suspect due to a lack of discipline on my part. I do like to domme a bit and sub a bit, though.
One very important thing I have noticed in my explorations is the monsters who rule under the guise of Doms and Dommes. Chica, you cannot warn your audience too strongly against these creatures. Force is NOT a part of ANY good relationship.
Quote by _chica_
I agree.Force is never part of any relationship. In the lifestyle less. That is why we have the safe,sane, consensual as the very foundation of this lifestyle.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
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