Quote by InkandArt
BDSM is overrated.
Because it's fictional enslavement.
These are very strong words. I'm curious as to what happened to cause such a reaction.
Is every BDSM/D/s relationship good? No, absolutely not, but neither is every "vanilla" or "traditional" relationship.
I'm not sure how you mean it's overrated by the examples you gave. Please don't think I'm trying to argue or convince you to try it, but as someone who has been in this lifestyle for a good chunk of their life, I disagree with you. I do agree that some things are sensationalized and false in the media. Not every Dom/Master/D is a millionaire with emotional damage.
A good family atmosphere? I've managed to be a great submissive and a fantastic mother. I raised two highly functioning adults that I genuinely like.
There is no enslavement with true BDSM unless that is your kink, which in that case, we don't kink shame people. As for me, I'm free to go anytime I want to. And I'm sure you've heard, but may not believe, in a healthy relationship the sub has the majority of the power. They choose to stay or go.
If a Dom sends his sub that he needs to get his dick wet is no different than any other man telling his wife he wants her. It might not be your way, but it doesn't make it wrong. If he is saying that to his sub and she's staying with him, chances are she likes it. I'm a sub and I say some very naughty things to my Dom at times.
A zipper across the lips? Above or below? That's not my thing but to each their own. I find ball gags to be sexy at the right moment, but they are a hard no for me so I never use one.
Cold wardrobe? Is there something specific? I'm not sure wardrobe can be seen as bad. If my Dom wants me to wear nothing but my pearl necklace then how is that any different than a husband stripping his wife bare or having her wear a sexy bit of lingerie? Do you mean metal? I admit, that metal can get very cold, but I love the feel of cold glass and metal against my skin. That's kind of my thing. 😈
There are rules when it comes to BDSM. One of the number one rules collectively across the board is your submissive must feel safe. If they don't feel safe with you then it slips into the realm of abuse and that's not reserved for BDSM is it? Plenty of good "normal" spouses/partners are being beaten on by someone they were supposed to trust but can't.
My Dom is someone that I trust completely. Again, every relationship is different. I feel so safe and confident in him as my Dom, my partner, and my friend that all things are possible. I am so secure in our connection that I will do things with him without hesitation and I will allow him to do things that I have never let anyone else do. Why? Because I trust him to know me and my body. To listen to me and my safe word. Trust and respect.
Trust and respect are something you specifically seem to not see or know about in terms of BDSM. This is a shame. More people should highlight that part in their stories.
Again, I'm not trying to convince you to give it a go because it's not for everyone. I know and respect that. Just know that BDSM-D/s is a big world with a lot of amazing things in it. Some are good, some not so good, same as every other relationship, but let's not generalize or kink shame because you've had a bad run-in with it.