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BDSM Collars?
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Her Royal Spriteness
i wear a choker which is public friendly and a lovely reminder that i am owned. there are plenty of collars, in fact, that don't scream BDSM that you can wear in public. and, if you want to be less subtle, i think, in this day and age, i most places, that's certainly an option. personally, i don't care what strangers think. now, if it's friends or family, that's a whole nother conversation. sometimes that's tricky.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Active Ink Slinger
My sub is collared. Which for us was a HUGE step in the relationship, it was a definitive "we both want to see this thing through to the end" total commitment. For us that means that she wears a collar or keeps it as close as she can at all times. Even in public.
We have an innocent looking bracelet for family functions and public outings, something that for us says "she is mine" no one is the wiser.
We also have a leather collar that can be worn in private. It's soft royal blue and white, leather with a small padlock on the back and a D ring in the front. that's the at home collar.
Something I learned very early on in my BDSM journey is that it's not always about the flashy leather or huge padlocks. (although lets be real, those ARE pretty awesome)
I know a couple who use their wedding bands to represent that feeling of being owned for the sub. As well as others who symbolize ownership with a tattoo. As long as the person wearing the collar feels owned what it looks like on the outside is secondary.
As a side note, i used to work in retail and in my two years working there i saw three people who were wearing collars. Can't say if they were into BDSM or not, since there are some folk who wear collars as a fashion statement. It always made my day to see them (Although, I never spoke about them with the people i saw, to me it's not any of my business.) To wear a collar that looks like a collar in public takes some serious guts. People notice them, the giant Bell one girl wore hanging from hers made sure no one in the store missed it.
We have an innocent looking bracelet for family functions and public outings, something that for us says "she is mine" no one is the wiser.
We also have a leather collar that can be worn in private. It's soft royal blue and white, leather with a small padlock on the back and a D ring in the front. that's the at home collar.
Something I learned very early on in my BDSM journey is that it's not always about the flashy leather or huge padlocks. (although lets be real, those ARE pretty awesome)
I know a couple who use their wedding bands to represent that feeling of being owned for the sub. As well as others who symbolize ownership with a tattoo. As long as the person wearing the collar feels owned what it looks like on the outside is secondary.
As a side note, i used to work in retail and in my two years working there i saw three people who were wearing collars. Can't say if they were into BDSM or not, since there are some folk who wear collars as a fashion statement. It always made my day to see them (Although, I never spoke about them with the people i saw, to me it's not any of my business.) To wear a collar that looks like a collar in public takes some serious guts. People notice them, the giant Bell one girl wore hanging from hers made sure no one in the store missed it.
If I was ever to be collared it would have to be something that didn't look like a collar. lol. I think most just wear theirs in private but I've read that some wear different styles of necklaces given to them by their Dom.
I think as long as both people in the relationship understand what it symbolizes it doesn't matter if it's obvious or not
I think as long as both people in the relationship understand what it symbolizes it doesn't matter if it's obvious or not
Active Ink Slinger
Being a collared sub has very little to do with wearing a collar to be honest. Anything can be a "collar" so long as both understand that this item (whatever it may be) means that you belong to another. A plain "vanilla" wedding ring is a collar of sorts. Wearing your boyfriends high school ring on a chain around your neck is a collar.
I have heard of people using anklets and bracelets as collars. The true collar is the understanding that you belong to another and they belong to you. My girl is collared yet she does not wear a collar in public. Her collar and her leash are her devotion to me.
I did have a real collaring ceremony in which time I gave her the collar she wears on occasion. However, we live in a world where wearing such is not completely accepted. So we have an understanding that we don't need such attention-grabbing wear (which would undoubtedly bring questions we don't feel like having to answer all the time!)
Funny story: I was at the store a few months back when a guy and his girl came down the aisle. She was wearing a collar and at first I thought it was just a young girl wearing a dog collar. As she got closer I could tell it was instead a sub collar (there IS a difference). As she passed by I said, "Nice collar subbie." I thought she was going to pass out from embarrassment! LOL! She said "T..thank you, Sir" as she blushed about five shades of red. She knew what I was and she knew I knew her status as well - I guess she wasn't expecting anyone to recognize her collar for what it was!
I have heard of people using anklets and bracelets as collars. The true collar is the understanding that you belong to another and they belong to you. My girl is collared yet she does not wear a collar in public. Her collar and her leash are her devotion to me.
I did have a real collaring ceremony in which time I gave her the collar she wears on occasion. However, we live in a world where wearing such is not completely accepted. So we have an understanding that we don't need such attention-grabbing wear (which would undoubtedly bring questions we don't feel like having to answer all the time!)
Funny story: I was at the store a few months back when a guy and his girl came down the aisle. She was wearing a collar and at first I thought it was just a young girl wearing a dog collar. As she got closer I could tell it was instead a sub collar (there IS a difference). As she passed by I said, "Nice collar subbie." I thought she was going to pass out from embarrassment! LOL! She said "T..thank you, Sir" as she blushed about five shades of red. She knew what I was and she knew I knew her status as well - I guess she wasn't expecting anyone to recognize her collar for what it was!
My boyfriend has a collar and he likes to wear it, but I shy away from him wearing it in public and especially certain places, lol. He has less problem with that than I do. I find people tend to distance themselves. I gave him a BDSM bracelt, bt his collaringly will be upgraded sometime. We both have rings and they are lovely. Neither of us are really into the piercings, though we think they rea cool and kinky, so we will just upgrade and do a ceremony maybe at some point... do it properly. I like the chain and O-ring jwelery more for public but as I said, we hope to add more of things later.
I like the Ring of "O" collar jewelry, personally, (or more public):
I like the Ring of "O" collar jewelry, personally, (or more public):
Active Ink Slinger
I own a couple of spiked collars with me and I would like to get one for my gf but she is shy when wearing it but I do tent to buy a very pretty red collar with a O-ring just like the picture here. I don't mind wearing them on public and it is kinda fun when wearing one lol sure people distance themselves but it doesn't bother me I do think wearing a collar is kinky especially when you are around you special someone and my special baby is my gf.
Advanced Wordsmith
I think the word "collar" is used a little too literally, as with a lot of words in BDSM culture. In my opinion, it doesn't have to be an actual collar. I bracelet, watch, necklace, choker or any other piece of everyday jewellery can be used, as long as the intention in which it was given is pure and both parties know it's a "collar" and what said collar represents.
Rookie Scribe
Master got me a small collar, which is more like a choker and I love it. It's black with a pink ribbon and handcuffs in the center. I have heard that soon I will be getting a thicker one with a matching leash 
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Stardrinking
I think the word "collar" is used a little too literally, as with a lot of words in BDSM culture. In my opinion, it doesn't have to be an actual collar. I bracelet, watch, necklace, choker or any other piece of everyday jewellery can be used, as long as the intention in which it was given is pure and both parties know it's a "collar" and what said collar represents.
Actually I have lived this lifestyle for 38 years and every pet I have had and every Master I have known has used a real Collar not a representation of one
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by Red_Dragon
Actually I have lived this lifestyle for 38 years and every pet I have had and every Master I have known has used a real Collar not a representation of one
I've found both ways have happened. Maybe times and attitudes are just changing, getting less traditional.
Active Ink Slinger
I love wearing a collar.. leather and leash for play and more subtle silver one for public. It turns me on when he puts it on me.. Mmm
Rookie Scribe
She has a babygirl collar she wears a lot of the time. She also has a couple leather ones but most the time I enjoy seeing her in the softer side.
Active Ink Slinger
I love having a collar but don't care for a leash.
Quote by Guest
Quote by Guest
Quote by Guest
Quote by OldDom48
MORE ON COLLARS
There are some other, generally less-significant collars used at times.
An "Everyday" collar may be a necklace, bracelet, or other item that a sub may wear every day. The everyday collar has significance to the couple, without inviting the notice of the wider vanilla community. An everyday collar may serve as a formal collar in some relationships. In others it may only be worn when the formal collar might not be as acceptable.
A "Play" collar may be worn during a scene or other BDSM event for the duration of the event. It may also feature additional D-rings, or other components to facilitate the type of scene during which it is being used. It generally does not denote more than to identify the "bottom" during the scene, and does not signify a relationship with the "Top" in the scene, or with any other Dominant in attendence.
A collar of "Protection" may be worn by an unattached sub to denote that she is under the temporary protection of one or more of the Dominants in a club or at an event. The purpose is to keep the unattached sub from being hassled by others who might not give that sub the respect she deserves during the event. It also does not signify a relationship with a Dominant beyond the protection being offered, nor does it imply some quid pro quo owed to the Dominant giving it from the sub accepting it.
Quote by Jonathans_Fantasies
Being a collared sub has very little to do with wearing a collar to be honest. Anything can be a "collar" so long as both understand that this item (whatever it may be) means that you belong to another. A plain "vanilla" wedding ring is a collar of sorts. Wearing your boyfriends high school ring on a chain around your neck is a collar.
I have heard of people using anklets and bracelets as collars. The true collar is the understanding that you belong to another and they belong to you. My girl is collared yet she does not wear a collar in public. Her collar and her leash are her devotion to me.
I did have a real collaring ceremony in which time I gave her the collar she wears on occasion. However, we live in a world where wearing such is not completely accepted. So we have an understanding that we don't need such attention-grabbing wear (which would undoubtedly bring questions we don't feel like having to answer all the time!)
Funny story: I was at the store a few months back when a guy and his girl came down the aisle. She was wearing a collar and at first I thought it was just a young girl wearing a dog collar. As she got closer I could tell it was instead a sub collar (there IS a difference). As she passed by I said, "Nice collar subbie." I thought she was going to pass out from embarrassment! LOL! She said "T..thank you, Sir" as she blushed about five shades of red. She knew what I was and she knew I knew her status as well - I guess she wasn't expecting anyone to recognize her collar for what it was!
Now the prior things are from another thread, with the exception of Jonathan ' s quote.
I have been intrigued by this notion not for what I see on chat, but the idealism behind the basic understanding I have in this topic.
I can see the the romanticism behind it, and I am trying to make the connection with... some values with in my religion.
I have always being strong so the idea of bring told what to do and being used caused me to be revolted by the thought... now that was ignorant in my part as my introduction to this was the lush chat rooms where I see now it is just RP.
I am still trying to understand. But now through asking and reading.
Active Ink Slinger
What matters most is what the collar means to the person wearing it and what it means to the person for which it is being worn. Personally, I think there is something delightful in the more subtle options out there in that they can be worn publicly without anyone else the wiser as to their intended meaning.
I can’t think of a good tagline so this will have to do. Suggest a better one for me?
My collar is a plain solid rolled stainless steel collar, which came in two pieces and is locked. It's a very pretty piece of jewellery for when I'm out doing normal daytime stuff, but it also happens to have a little tag which is usually kept around the back of it, down the back of my top, which has my Owner's details on it.
When my nipples piercings are finally big enough (they're at 6mm at the moment but this will need 8 or even 10mm) then He would like to change the CBRs for flesh tunnels which have a flare on both sides and which will be pretty much impossible to remove once my body has shrunk back onto them, through which He will get rings welded to get them to be properly permanent.
When my nipples piercings are finally big enough (they're at 6mm at the moment but this will need 8 or even 10mm) then He would like to change the CBRs for flesh tunnels which have a flare on both sides and which will be pretty much impossible to remove once my body has shrunk back onto them, through which He will get rings welded to get them to be properly permanent.
Advanced Wordsmith
I have a friend who wears a collar; I never actually knew why, I thought It was for fashion, but after reading up about the BDSM stuff on here I asked her and she told me she was actually a sub; a fair few people give her dirty looks in the street as well but her response is always this.
"I have chosen to give my life to someone I love and I will always follow; If they wish to judge me for that, then they do not know the true meaning of Loving trust."
"I have chosen to give my life to someone I love and I will always follow; If they wish to judge me for that, then they do not know the true meaning of Loving trust."
Can't Handle The Heat?
Then Don't Mess With The Penguin!
Then Don't Mess With The Penguin!
Active Ink Slinger
I am for it, because it is like saying the words "I love you" for the first time. You only say it when you really mean it. So you would only get a collar for the person if you trust them 100%. If you know who they really are and are dedicated to that person.
Advanced Wordsmith
This whole question about collars is dependent on the individual couple and the needs and wants they share.
Some Subs want and need to show they have a master and relish the wearing of a collar as a symbol of the commitment given.
Some Doms like to feel they have their property protected and show ownership of her and her commitment to him.
Personally I like to have my Sub wear a collar at home whether a choker or full collar is also up to her i will ask first but then expect compliance.
As a symbol the idea of even a necklace that i clasp around her neck before leaving the house signify's her collar.
And whether a torc a chain or a silk ribbon ,if i put it around her neck ,then, she is wearing my collar.
And just because i like to, a love bite or a hicky is also fun before we go out, it's just me and her she knows what she means to me
Some Subs want and need to show they have a master and relish the wearing of a collar as a symbol of the commitment given.
Some Doms like to feel they have their property protected and show ownership of her and her commitment to him.
Personally I like to have my Sub wear a collar at home whether a choker or full collar is also up to her i will ask first but then expect compliance.
As a symbol the idea of even a necklace that i clasp around her neck before leaving the house signify's her collar.
And whether a torc a chain or a silk ribbon ,if i put it around her neck ,then, she is wearing my collar.
And just because i like to, a love bite or a hicky is also fun before we go out, it's just me and her she knows what she means to me
