I know a lot of you guys say a confident lass is a sexy lass, and I understand that; I get it.
However, what about the lass who you like for her nature, personality, and character, even if her looks are not what you would fantasise about? What would it take for you to want to put in the time for her to learn to trust you, and learn to feel more confident around you when she has been told not-very-nice things about herself in the past? Like, if she wanted to trust you and be comfortable around you, but her past experiences meant she felt bad about many aspects of herself, and she was afeared you would hurt her too.
Would you be able to be patient with her? Would you be prepared to put up with low self-esteem and fear of being hurt if you really liked her, and she showed she was able to grow into the relationship?
Or do you just not go there at all? How do you decide when she's worth it?
Also, have you ever told a lass things about herself and/or appearance that were hurtful, and if so, why, and do you regret it or stand by it?
Thank you in advance of any replies.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
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If I truly did like her, I would put up with just about anything. But at some point resentment might set in and I wouldn't want to hurt her by being impatient.
And yes I have said things that may have been hurtful to a woman, and I wouldnt take them back. She asked what I thought and I told her, I wasnt being rude, just truthful.
Never have said anything hurtful about looks per se. But onto the bigger question, I probably would not be around long enough to find out. People's worth is, in large part, defined by their own feelings of self worth. That doesn't mean that I want some uppity bitch, but to try and be with someone with no self confidence would be out of the question, no matter what she looked like. I have been with a number of exceptional looking women (my wife is one of them... YEAH!) as well as some not so exceptional. The one's that were not great looking had great big personalities and a lot of confidence.
Back when I was a teacher, there was a new 3rd grade teacher that I and ALL of the other male teachers had a crush on. She had big beautiful 22 yo breasts, but other than that... not much going on,and I mean that her body was so-so, and her face...meh. The personalty on her though... confident but modest, a bit sassy, super nice and a touch flirtatious. She also just had the air about her that she would be very easy to make the transition from conversation to making out with. My good friend ended up dating her for a number of years and they recently broke up. She has 0 problem with guys, and it's all in the personality.
it's always a good thing to get to know someone really well.
If i met a woman that I thought was a great person and she wanted to be with me but it would take time...i'd wait. How long would depend on the progress with trust.
The only time in my life I was ever really in love was (or rather is) with a woman with a few extra pounds and curves. She is not the most beautiful woman in the world but she has an inner sexiness that I still find irresistible. I think she loved that I am not judgmental. She has had more than her share of that and certainly didn't need more from me.
I had found that we could actually talk about anything. We had the same rather subdued sense of humor. The same interests in books and we both read voraciously. Where I can be distant she is gregarious. When I became despondent, she would listen. She is also the only woman I have dared to share my writing with although sadly, execpt for my poems, she is not at all interested in it.
My only complaint was that she was not as sexually adventurous as I and that eventually became an issue. Between that and my own penchant for running away from commitment we had a break up that was intensely painful to me and pushed me into a prolonged depression. I realize now that this was the only time I've ever really had my heart broken.
We are able to see each other as friends now with an occasional romp but our relationship is more as friends than lovers.
My point is that despite the number of very attractive ladies Ive had the pleasure to be with, it was a woman who lacked that common perception of beauty who made me feel most complete. Physical beauty is candy for the eye but it was a woman who made me feel whole who meant most to me.
). I meant things that you might not even necessarily think are true, but you knew it would specifically hurt them, for whatever reason you had. Like, you spent months and months telling them one thing about themselves, and then suddenly just turned on them and said everything the opposite to what you had previously said. I don't really want to be more specific than that, sorry. Things you said just to hurt her. I guess it depends on the people, probably, and now I'm just waffling on like a pillock, sorry. 
