The gym I go to has "barrack" showers, meaning there are no partitions between the showers (i'm told the lady side has partitions). There one bank of four showers facing a bank of five. I go in an take the first shower on the bank of five. I'm the only in the shower. Maybe a minute later another guy comes. Instead of taking a shower on the other bank or further down the row, he starts showering next to me. Did he thnk I was gay and coming on to me? Or just coincidence?
He probably wanted to gay off with you.
I'm sure that was the last thing on his mind. He simply wanted to shower... like you wanted. The reason he showered near you? Who knows. Does it matter? Is it that big of a deal? No. Men all have the same items, gay, straight or bi. Even if he was on the off chance of being gay, it doesn't mean he wanted you. Just because someone is gay, doesn't mean they want all men. As a straight male, do you want EVERY woman? I'm going to assume no. That you, like a gay man, has tastes and what he finds attractive. I would try to calm down on worrying about silly things. It was just a shower.
I imagine that he was just using the nearest shower from where he entered or has showered there many times before and just happened to have a shower preference for the one right next to you.
However, I understand your aversion to him picking the one right next to you. It's like the unspoken rule of urinals. If there are four, numbered in order, and a guy is using number 2, the next guy to walk in will instinctively use number 4. It's a personal bubble thing.
I sincerely doubt that he was trying to come on to you since, if he was, he probably would have said something or tried to flirt instead of just standing adjacent and showering in complete silence.
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It happened to me a few times as well.
For one person I can be sure he made it clear why he did it, for the rest I don't really know, it might as well be a coincidence
"If it doesn't leave you breathless, sweaty and ready to fade, it's just not worth doing."
I actually agree with Magical_felix on that one. I'm not all that experienced concerning gym showers (I workout at home), but this man's intents are pretty obvious to me.
Imagine a girl tanning on a chair at a hotel's pool; the area is nearly empty and there are around a dozen of other chairs available all around the pool. Now a random guy enters the scene and sits in the chair right next to that girl. What would you honestly think of this situation? Would you seriously believe that this guy chose his chair completely randomly? I mean, even if I was lounging at a hotel's pool myself and a guy sat down in the chair right next to me, I'd find it extremely awkward; and that's not even a situation where both of us would be naked.
Some people wouldn't try to do anything more than that because they're just weird and they just like to flirt with a certain fantasy of theirs, but the intents are still pretty fucking clear to any astute person observing the scene. And as another person mentioned, there are certain 'unwritten rules' about these things: even if you wouldn't mind showering next to another guy yourself, you'd still be aware that selecting the shower right next to another guy would appear awkward and highly suspicious.
So yes, in my opinion that man was either:
a) Flirting with a gay fantasy
b) Extremely simpleminded and naive
I'm a swimmer and the showers in the change rooms are always open (99% of the time.) It does kind of creep me out if the showers are empty and someone unattractive jumps in the shower right next to me.
So yeah I like my space, especially if I am getting stared at LOL
I know this is "ask the guys", but in university, the women's showers in the older of the two pool buildings were pretty much "barracks style". No dividers, six or eight shower heads arranged in a circular formation around a central pipe.
Didn't matter if there were two women in there or twenty, you were bound to end up showering at the very least within five feet of someone. Never bothered me, and certainly nothing sexual ever came of it, not to my knowledge.
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Women think differently than men. Most of them aren't creeps like men are.
Men are aware of what fucking creeps we are so we don't like it when another dude decides to piss right next to us in an empty bathroom. We don't like it when there is an entire empty park and some dude decides he needs to sit on the same damn bench. We don't like it when a guy needs to stand right next to us and use the same pole to hold himself up in an empty subway car. And we especially don't like it when we are trying to wash our balls in peace and some guy decides to use the shower right next to us when it is totally not necessary. It's an aggressive act. If I wanted to start a fight with a guy I would do something like that actually. It's irritating.
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Another girl butting in here! Sorry! Couldn't his motives just be that he's a talker and strikes up a conversation with the first person he sees, even in the shower room, without a thought about sexual implications? I'm noticing a pattern here, where all the guys are territorial and defensive, while the girls see no suspicious intent. When I was in college, I lived in an older dorm that had open showers, and girls just line up next to each other and start talking! I'm not straight, but even straight girls did this without worrying about whether the girl next to her was bi or lesbian. The other thing I noticed, is how guys seem to be so averse to the prospect of being hit on by other guys. We girls have to deal with getting hit on all the time by people we have absolutely no interest in! We're used to it! If I'm on a lounge chair at the beach, and there are 50 other empty lounge chairs, half the time the first guy to come along is going to grab the chair next to me, and start flirting. More than half the time it'll be some ugly jerk I don't want bugging me, but until he gets obnoxious, I try to be nice anyway. Why are guys so afraid of the prospect of the guy next to him being gay? Get USED to being treated as a sexual object, so you know how WE feel!
obviously the guy chose a close shower because he wanted to check out the other man's package.
Next time just start a conversation with him and find out. If it was for the view, it would have made more sense for him to stand across from you...
Though hard to believe for some and probably something very few will admit, there are adults who are simply afraid of being alone in some places. They tend to wait until someone else goes in first, then join. All they want, is not to be alone, because they, for whatever reason, are scared. PTSS for example can do weird things with peoples minds.
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Dude definitely broke the guy code. Never use the shower, urinal next to another dude unless absolutely necessary.
If you're that worried about it, use a different shower for a few days. See what happens.
Sorry but just like the urinal you give "space"...
I don't get this fear that most men have with nudity. Anybody who was in a sports team or the army will tell you that most people have seen most of the guys naked. Nakedness doesn't have to be sexual and it's nothing to feel uncomfortable about. If anything if the dude actually felt aroused by you he would go as far as possible.
"If it doesn't leave you breathless, sweaty and ready to fade, it's just not worth doing."
i have to agree with the fellas. it's creepy. i wouldn't automatically assume that he's gay, but he DEFINITELY would have gotten the 'dude, REALLY?!' glance from me.
