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Wanting your views on why you think men cheat

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phynix11
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To simply put it, It is our Alpha Male mentality. We just want to feel dominant.
Mysecret1
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For the reasons women do. In my first marriage, when things went South, I cheated and more often than not, with a married woman
bill11
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There are many reasons, but they all boil down to loss of interest. And that sexual physical need that must be controlled or satisfied.
InsatiableLover
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Cheating isn't just a one sided thing. The factors differ from one person to another
There's also different forms of cheating. There's just the sexual/physical side of it and then the emotional side of it.
You can have an emotional affair without ever touching the other person. To me that would be the hardest to break.
Either way something is missing for the other person to step out. Maybe it's not
missing completely, but they are stepping out to have something met or enhanced.
InsatiableLover
Active Ink Slinger
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In my opinion:

Cheating isn't just a one sided thing. The factors differ from one person to another
There's also different forms of cheating. There's just the sexual/physical side of it and then the emotional side of it.
You can have an emotional affair without ever touching the other person. To me that would be the hardest to break.
Either way something is missing for the other person to step out. Maybe it's not
missing completely, but they are stepping out to have something met or enhanced.
jacobport
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This goes both ways, as far as men & women cheating.
"Sometimes you have to believe in someone else's belief in you before the belief in yourself kicks in" ~Les Brown
Langley
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For me I love my wife very much but she has reached a point in life that she does not want any kind of physical contact . She does not hold hold hands , kiss or anything so I look for that contact else where. It is just so great to feel
desired by someone.
Beffer
Rainbow Warrior
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This whole topic is predicated on the concept of monogamy, but men are not inherently monogamous creatures, and neither are some women. So the idea of fidelity is not necessarily a natural state and should not be assumed to be, other than through the constraints of marriage, which is an artificial and perhaps even an unnatural construct.
ProfRodg
Advanced Wordsmith
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Probably pretty much the same reasons that many women cheat... boredom, incompatibility, a desire to explore in dangerous waters.......
dpw
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Quote by ProfRodg
Probably pretty much the same reasons that many women cheat... boredom, incompatibility, a desire to explore in dangerous waters.......

They are causes not really reasons. People cheat because they think they're smarter than their partner.
Either they think that they won't get caught or they want to get caught to force a split.
InsatiableLover
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Quote by dpw

They are causes not really reasons. People cheat because they think they're smarter than their partner.
Either they think that they won't get caught or they want to get caught to force a split.


A reason often justifies said causes of the event. Therefore, I disagree with your answer.

I know people who society would view as cheating on their spouse because they are sleeping with others outside of their marriage. However they are in a open marriage. Their reason is not because they feel they are smarter than their spouse or think they won't get caught or wanting to get caught to force a split.

But again that is your opinion.
Mazza
Mazztastic
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Generally speaking, I'd say for the same reasons that women do... Because something is missing. That could be in their relationship or simply because of their personal "baggage".
You can break it down, but it becomes so individual that the reasons are different for everyone...

From what I've seen and experienced, the person is simply looking for something that they don't get in their steady relationship.
aldenbradley
Advanced Wordsmith
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I'm going with biology. Fidelity is a construct of morality, a social construct designed to provide support for women and children. As this need has declined with the emancipation of women, there is less of a need to observe the fidelity for either gender. There is also the emotional desire to be attractive and the ultimate proof is in coital consumation. Sex has become a recreational activity that is limited more by the fear of infection than impregnation. Still, the biological elements of a male seeking to widely spread his genetic material, and a female seeking the most preferable mate are at the root of the desire for multiple mates.
Alden Bradley

The zenith of sensuality occurs in sensitivity.
Caring matters more than achieving gratification.
Devils_Desire
*THE DEVIL*
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Really??? It's just natural! That said, I have never "actually" CHEATED on my wife but I do think about it quite often and may someday give in ;.)
Guest
Lurker
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Men need sex to reaffirm the relationship. Men need to be needed and appreciated. But because we are 'tough' we don't communicate this. Many married women don't get this or fall into a rut, or lose respect/drive/interest or see sex and other forms of reaffirmation as a chore or all of the above. So men then stray to find what they need. .....funny thing.....once divorced these same women go above and beyond with sex, appreciation, and respect with any prospective new guy. If they'd only put in half that effort into the marriage...........one or both partners stop nurturing the relationship it slowly dies.....affairs are a late symptom of this not the cause.

But.....the same goes in reverse. And, recent studies are showing that women will stray or walk sooner when they don't get what they need. That they are actually turned on more by variety. That they are kinkier than their men. Paternal society that we have has repressed women's nature since the start of the dark ages just as it has homosexuality and enforce a strict code of monogamy. It is starting to change but will likely take another generation.
Guest
Lurker
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I feel like people, regardless of gender, cheat because there's something lacking in the relationship. The spark or passion, maybe? I'm not saying that the significant other is at fault though.
Guest
Lurker
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I agree with trinket !! smile
simplyjohn
Site administrator
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Quote by trinket


Because they are assholes


I so hate generalisations like that .. I see that in the rooms .. always gets my back up .. tongue in cheek here but really ..

Seriously I think in the main, as others have said, something isnt right in simple terms .. no need to cheat if the relationship is sound (unless of course she cant cook a decent rare steak in which case hell I would cheat!)
trinket
Convict
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Quote by simplyjohn


I so hate generalisations like that .. I see that in the rooms .. always gets my back up .. tongue in cheek here but really ..

Seriously I think in the main, as others have said, something isnt right in simple terms .. no need to cheat if the relationship is sound (unless of course she cant cook a decent rare steak in which case hell I would cheat!)


haha, the asshole comment wasn't a generalisation of all men, it was a generalisation of CHEATING men.

I'd walk too if he couldn't cook a good chip.
reddeville18
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what one....won't do.....another will.....
pegasus2126
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I can tell you why I cheat. Before we were married my wife could not get enough sex. Wanted it all the time. Same thing after we married then the kids came along and sex started to slow down and once or twice a week. Kids now grown up and it is once every year or two but I have to ask for it for afew months before I get any.
ChuckEPoo
Chuckanator
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Its obvious hormones have something to do with it. Men are visual creatures. I almost think this question could be asked in reverse. Why do men not cheat?

Fidelity is not a natural trait. Men have to make a conscious decision to be faithful. Character is a trained response. The qualities women want men to have are things like loyality, trust, honesty and love are not natural to the human condition. Relationships built on fantasies are destroyed when infidelity surfaces because vows that were taken were not understood fully are broken.

Any good relationship, being friendship or marriage has to be worked at. If I were to rewrite the marriage vows I would add forgiveness,reconciliation and redemption to the list of honor and obey. As far as why people cheat, there are endless reasons.
Guest
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Finances, poor sex life, neglect, too many arguments over the affore mentioned. I've never had a bad relationship, they've just all ended badly.
Tj1
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I have not, except for on here, But it is the lack of intimacy that would tempt me, as I miss the touch of a woman very much.
simplyjohn
Site administrator
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Quote by trinket


haha, the asshole comment wasn't a generalisation of all men, it was a generalisation of CHEATING men.

I'd walk too if he couldn't cook a good chip.



I knew that really