Hello all...
So... I'm sure this question has already been answered and I apologize for the bother but I need advice on this subject. So... I'm a 34 year old woman who became single in July of this year and I just started having sex again. The guy is really big on foreplay but the sex does not last long at all. And there has been a night where we had sex twice and then once more in the morning and it was the same thing. 45 minutes of foreplay (fingers, mouth, teasing, etc) and then 5 minutes of actual sex. First of all... is this a normal thing? Does this happen to a lot of people? He does a great job of teasing me and luckily I'm lucky enough to be able to cum through both oral and vaginal stimulation. But I'd just like it to last a little bit longer or at least be able to enjoy a couple of positions before the finale. If a man could lend an ear on how to approach this subject, that would be wonderful. Please and thank you.
It does happen a lot. What he has to do is before seeing you get himself off. He may get so turned on by seeing you that he cums quickly. Do not try desensitive spray. Sometimes it works too well and he won't cum at all
I have this problem a lot too, especially with new lovers. Eventually, they get better (one guy never did, and always came in me within a couple minutes). On the other hand, I also have had partners who take so long to cum, they wear me out jack-hammering me endlessly! Not sure which is worse!
Try breaking out a bottle of wine, a few drinks should help desensitise him and help him relax if he's all pent up. Also during foreplay get him hard and keep him 'topped up' so to speak but don't get him too worked up.
The most important thing really is to actually have a conversation with him about it, let him know that everything else is great but you want the sex to last longer, have him pull out and take a break if he feels like he is getting close, have him go down on you or tease your g-spot with his fingers until he is ready to go again and then change up the position. But seriously if you don't discuss it with him, no matter how uncomfortable it may be at the time, then nothing will ever really change and stay changed for the better and if he's the sort of man who doesn't take kindly to criticism then quite honestly you're better off without him. Your pleasure matters too.
Good replies. Another option is to take a second lover who can last longer. Take it from me, putting a woman's wants and needs does not come naturally for men. Patience will be needed.
Both the previous members are helpful, but urologists and sexologist can certainly be of help. He may have more fun too after you talk about it and get some professional help.
Both the previous members are helpful, but urologists and sexologist can certainly be of help. He may have more fun too after you talk about it and get some professional help.
I think if you have a guy that blows in five minutes after penetration It might be because of the extended foreplay. Try taking the lead and ask him for intercourse sooner.
Don't know if he is significantly younger which may be a factor, all of the above and you may want to experiment with different positions. He may last longer at different angles.
Explain to him that your happy for him to slow down a little more, then explain that you like being edged (call it a secret turn on of your's maybe.) That way he won't feel that your just picking faults with his love making, he will then pride himself on wanting to please you more.
I have the opposite problem. I stay hard but can't come. Fuck for ages.
Great for her perhaps but exhausting for me.
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I suspect you are so gorgeous that you excite men beyond reason which is what nature intended. Now if you were an "old boot"" Ah life is hard.
Hello, All!
And thank you so much for responding back to me! I didn't realize that anyone had because I didn't get any emails and just checked this out after not signing on for a while. A little update... something fucked up that happened... the last time we were together he lasted longer but also got domineering and told me that if I had to use the bathroom (I had told him earlier that I had to pee) I'd have to force him off of me and he "wasn't joking". So... I think that he came too early when he couldn't be controlling or domineering... and the 45 minute foreplay that happened in the beginning stopped and even when we sexted, he didn't seem too interested in pleasing me. So... it's just as well that it didn't work out with him.
Btw... did end up finding someone else and the sex is a million times better because he isn't domineering or controlling at all and is very much into pleasing me and not just when it is convenient for him.
Thanks again everyone for all of your answers! I very much appreciate them!
Have him try lido cream to desensitize and extend his actual sex time. Another is using a condom. I cannot have an orgasm with a condom on and will just go until I wear myself out.
I'd think that on second and third rounds he should last much longer. He might want to see his urologist about that.
I've always believed that the more you fuck a guy, the more "seasoned" he becomes. Are you fucking him bareback? With a condom, he may last awhile longer. Of course, you may want to take that off, but that a lot extra sensitivity on his shaft. You could see if you can get him back up soon after the shortcoming. I become an absolute stud on the second go 'round! Takes me longer to make the cum, I can do any position, and do them hardcore. You have to help him build stamina. Give him incredible blow jobs. Make him cum on them. Then when your'e going to fuck, a lesser bj and suddenly he can take to your cunt better because it's not as intense on him as those special sucks you've been giving him. There are several things you can do. One big thing is to have sex several time a week. More than twice. Build him up. Another thing that helps is for him to open his eyes. I can take his minds focus off the fuck momentarily and turn back the cum.
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