Please show me the way?

24 Sep 2016

I understand about pain and restraints. But often Humiliation is part of the deal.

I just do not get it as all.

Some of you Dommes explain it to me. Maybe better some of you submissives,slaves may have a different point of view.

25 Sep 2016

Such a fine line, humiliation. My wife has no ability in that particular area, but occasionally an erotic chat will go that direction. If a gentleman is articulate and seductive to start and slowly leads me into some name calling I feel like I've submitted completely to their pleasure.

If a guy tries to go straight to a whisper using humiliating verbiage I'm out!

25 Sep 2016

I do not care for any level of actual humiliation ( I don't look down my nose at people who want that, it's just not appealing to me) but I think name calling - as a form of teasing or stimulation can be extremely exciting.

26 Sep 2016

BDSM, slave/master, etc. are so incompatible with my life philosophy that you'd have to shoot me before I got involved in giving /receiving pain or humiliation. I am serious. One of my ancestors owned 43 human beings. Learning the details was the most traumatic experience of my life. Also, I am 1/8th Cherokee and my one Cherokee ancestor was the only member of her family not forced on the Trail of Tears. Every single family member died on the way to Oklahoma. Any mention of restraints or whips makes me want to puke.

26 Sep 2016

It's so interesting that at the start of this thread no one is pro humiliation. Everything about BDSM is incomprehensible to me. Sex should be about love, even with a complete stranger, or a quicky. It will be interesting to check back here in the future to see where this goes, and if pro or con dominates, to coin a word.

26 Sep 2016

Although I wouldn't call myself a hardcore expert in bdsm or D/s, I do have some experience. First of all, for some other posters already, no need to bash it. Not into it? No problem...but it's quite ignorant to come down on it or even make some subtle comments about how you'd never understand how someone can be into it. As long as everything is SSC (safe, sane, & consensual) then let people be...I would never be able to have a total vanilla white-picket-fence relationship, but I would never bash it. Anyway, onwards....

I, myself, am not into humiliation perse. In my opinion though, humiliation is totally subjective. What's humiliating to one person, is not to another. Some people would consider being called certain hardcore names is humiliating (whore, slut, etc), but when my Dom calls me those names it's not humiliation to me. Golden showers can definitely be humiliating to some people, but not to others. It all depends on what you, yourself, find personally humiliating. For some reason (and this is just me) I find the sexual act of sitting on someone's face to be humiliating (humiliating to the person's face being sat on I mean)....for others, it's just a sex act.
Same thing with triggers...some people love being slapped around, they can take a few slaps to the face (nothing that's actually harmful) but for people who have suffered actual physical abuse in the form of face slapping, it's hard limit, they cannot take it. Totally understandable.

Humiliation is obviously something that's mental or emotional (even physical forms of it will affect you mentally or emotionally). I don't mean to say it's a negative thing. It's a turn on for many people, to be debased/humiliated. While I myself (for the most part) am not into it, I do understand the appeal. There have been certain times when I've thought about certain humiliating things (thought of, read, watched certain porn of it) and got aroused. It could be the of it... the fact that when thinking of it in society's terms, it's seen as something negative/ /wrong. The general understanding that you should treat people the way you want to be treated, respectfully, in a good way, golden rule, etc... anything that goes against general societal rules of acceptability can be arousing. The , the forbidden, etc (ie: in reality, it's wrong for an authority figure to wield sexual power over someone under their wing, like teacher/student, etc, but in fantasy roleplay many consider it very hot).
The vulnerability of it...being in a humiliating situation, doing something humiliating, wearing something humiliating (again, something that you personally find humiliating) can be an intense mindfuck. Some people can take it, some people can't. Some people like or love it, others hate it. Some people initially hate it or can't take it, but with the right person and the right approach/coaching/testing of limits, they may find the right thing to push their hot button for it.
Humiliation is such a deeply personal & vulnerable thing in my view. And as I said, very subjective. I've done many things with my Dom that some people would find humiliating, but there are other things I do not want to do/experience that other wouldn't consider humiliating.

It could also totally depend on who you're with. You may be with a certain someone, maybe a Dom, that you can do humiliation with...another Dom or someone, maybe it's off limits for you. It can be very personal. Then again, there are others who are into it specifically and can do it with anyone.

Please be assured though, that just because you've experienced and liked certain areas of the BDSM lifestyle, don't think that you "have" to be into humiliation. Don't let anyone tell you BS such as "you're not a true sub if you don't like being humiliated" or "you're not a true Dom if you don't like humiliating others" etc.
Same thing goes for pain. These are simply 2 aspects of BDSM that you can indulge in, but are NOT mandatory. A Dom doesn't need to be sadist for example. and a sub does not need to be a masochist. Some people are sadists and masochists who are not actually sub or Dom, so the flipside applies.
And same with humiliation...what's painful to one person may not be painful to another. And you may like one certain kind of pain (ie: spanking) but hate another form (ie: nipple clamps).
Hope that helped a little smile

~*~*~* Only the one that hurts you can make you feel better ~*~*~*
~*~*~* Only the one that inflicts pain can take it away~*~*~*

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