Hmmm quite a topic to follow...
I think a lot has to do with how hurt you are... and that would mean a lot to whether you can move on from it or not..
If you are really hurt and that hurt will stick around.. You might as well cut him loose.. No use keeping traumatic reminders around..
If you truly can let go.. Then it stands another chance
.. I was once the fastest and most victorious little sperm out of millions...
Can there really only be "that one time"? The vast majority of men and women who have cheated will do it again. The line is much easier to cross once you have done it.
perhaps this explains it better
MEN’S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let’s have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. What’s wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
8. May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you
9. Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you
10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you
11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you
12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins.
14. Let’s talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I’d like to have sex with you.
15. I don’t think those shoes go with that outfit = I’m gay
There's that old saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." I'm told we're all human and have moments of weakness. Sometimes we make bad choices. I can relinquish myself to that fact. Unforuntately, I also believe we have to suffer the consequences of our bad choices, regardless.
The question is whether a cheater will continue to cheat. It's hard to say, as everyone has their own idiosyncracies. Maybe they will, maybe they won't. What I think is more important than that is whether you can find it in yourself to trust them again. Forgiveness shouldn't come with strings attached, and misgivings about their future fidelity will be trying over the course of the relationship. I know I've never forgiven infidelity, but that's my short coming more than hers.
So, if you are better than I am, and can take a chance and feel secure in the relationship again, I'd say salvage what you can.
Dealing with cheating is quite simple. Make your threat grisly enough and he'll never even think of it.ZCq82tHOx3BOWs2d Hubby knows that a fate worse than death awaits him should he stray, and he rarely even look at the other women these days. Something about the rusty butcher's knife and a really, really slow vengeance..... I suspect that being preggers is going to send me round the bend on this issue as I start gaining weight, though. "You want her because I'm fat and ugly! Waaaahhhhaaaaha!!"
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx
here is my personal opion on the whole thing idk if once a cheater always a cheater but my theory on cheating is everyone that does cheat has cheated for a reason and what i mean by that is they are getting something from the other person that they can't get from there spouse sooo i tell my gfs if your missing something in our realtionship that someone else can give you give me a chance to give it to you if i can't lets go our seperate ways...so to sum up my rant sit down talk to and ask why he cheated and if he can't give an answer then he aint worth your time but if he gives you a reason try to work on it cuz four years is a long time to just toss a side
Tough. I agree with myles69 that he has to earn it. Honestly it's hard to imagine he would change, but let's give him a chance. One thing that will help: you being absolutely, 100% clear: "If you screw around, it's over."
And say it plenty of times, in different ways.
Tell him it doesn't matter if you have a house, kids, whatever. Let him know how you feel and how hurt you felt and how you cannot degrade yourself like that again. Use powerful words that express how cheapened you felt, and let him know there is absolutely no going back.
One thing is sure - he WILL be tempted. Using powerful words will help him at that moment of temptation. They will echo in his mind. If you say to him "Are you really going to throw away everything we have, really going to debase yourself, for a single orgasm?" he will hear your words, your voice, at the moment of temptation. With luck, he'll remember what you said and hold back.
I love to have sex to something fast and hard so anything by Godsmack will work, and if has to be tender and soft then Broken by Seether.
I'd say yes. Once a cheater always a cheater - eventually.
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