I'd never ever be like that to a woman, so I totally get why someone would not either. If I was out on a date and a girl asked me to choke her or even mock choke her, I'd end that scenario instantly and get her some help
Be honest with him about why you would like to try doing these things. Remember that it may be uncomfortable for him to think about hurting you in any way. Sex is always about having an open dialogue about what you like or don't like so always choose the honest path.
I hope that helps and that you two can figure this out together!
Put it in writing, sign it and you both keep a copy. If you break up you can't say he choked you or tied you up and use it against him.
Now, maybe you need to show him that sexual acts are not to be as aggressive as if he would be if he really was choking someone. There is a difference in the act. The hair pulling is so easy to do. Maybe watch some porn that has some of what you want done
You may have to ask yourself which is a higher priority for you, your boyfriend or "kinky shit".
Just last night I entertained a group of guys and got just what I needed and will always need. But your boyfriend seems to have come from a different mold.
Dear you are very young and still in the basic expirmental stage. What you need today may be not be the same in 10 years.
Have you set down with him in a noncomfrontation mood and non sexual and explained what you need?
If there is no point of agreement.
Then either you have to waive your desires.
Maybe you must recognize he is a good man, but not the man for you. Unless you want to cheat like I would in your situation.
Contact me if you need to talk more.
You're young and he's just a bf. Go find someone else that'll do it your way.
I'm assuming he is approximately the same age. If that is the case he may be a bit nervous that an enthusiastic and immediate response on his part may reveal something about himself he is not yet ready to share (or he hasn't figured out for himself yet.) As a number of others noted, communication is the key. I'd also suggest taking baby steps such as hair-pulling first. There may be a ton of factors at play here; upbringing, confidence, lack of experience, all of which may be influencing his reaction.
At the same age I had a pretty wild time with the girl I was dating as we explored numerous kinky adventures. It a time to explore and learn what we like, hopefully a life long journey. I think we surprised ourselves a few times when we realized we liked a particular kink.
I would caution you on the choking though. I would not combine this with any other form of restraint and you need to extraordinary careful. In my view things can go dangerously wrong. You might want to try something like a rigid collar that mimics the sensation to a lesser degree. This may be what his concern is; sounds like you enjoy the muscular types so he may be afraid of hurting you.
Good luck.
Danie, another point to consider is that, if you like a younger guy with a "V" shaped body, as you point out in your profile, please consider this: To have a really good "V" shaped back and chest-torso, takes a lot of work at the gym. Some guys do it to look good, some to play a sport, or do a job, some to set the local bully on his ass. I can tell you that when you develop your body like that, you often become very aware of what you can and can't do to others. You come to know you can very easily hurt other people without even realizing it.
He may not want to even consider that with someone he cares so much for in any form. Men like him may have a very hard time separating being playful from being violent. As other's say, "He doesn't know his own strength." Be very careful, please!!
Cheat on him, and leave lots of evidence. When he finds out say, "Maybe you should have tied me up when I asked."
As others have said: Communicate. Find out if he has a reason.
My wife was seriously into bedroom submission, bondage, and roleplay. She was anything but submissive outside the bedroom. LOL It was nothing I'd ever done before, ( sexually ) and even though she'd talked about it, when she edged that way the first time for real, I balked.
I'm a D&D nerd from way back who played all sorts of twisted and evil characters, so it's not as if I had nothing to draw from. I had a lot, in fact. We'd even done some phone roleplay along those lines. The thought of hurting her in any way for real, even knowing she wanted it, was just alien to me.
It was awkward and a killjoy in the moment, but I told her what was eating at me. We sat, talked, and got the mood back in a few minutes.
The way she got things started a few days after that talk was some light spanking. That's nowhere near as aggressive as choking and hair-pulling. Once I was comfortable enough with that to spank her hard enough to scratch that itch, she edged a little more with the hair pulling. Eventually, I got to where I could give her exactly what she wanted sometimes, and enjoy it myself. I had to be in the right mood, but it was there often enough to scratch that itch.
Talk about it, and maybe aim for spanking first.
Communication is the cornerstone of all relationships. this can be done by talking writing a note texting etc. Either way it is going to be essential.
You both need to discuss your likes and dislikes and then set common boundaries. all this needs to be done through communication. Without this your just going to get frustrated of which I am guessing from what you have posted is the stage you are now at. By talking it will enable you to overcome some objections of which one appears to be that he his frightened of hurting you. You need to reassure him on this point.
Assuming he likes BDSM then you will both need some sort of safeword/sign system and make sure you both know the drill. Play safe !
God luck
I appreciate all of the answers. Except the ones about breaking up thats moronic. Thank you everyone for the positive feedback. I spoke with him in person and he told me hes not comfortable with it. i told him it was ok. I lost my virginity to him so i wanted to explore other ways of sex. thanks again everyone! Much Love!
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
@DanieGirl; A woman is to be loved passionately during sex. I would do it all if that is what you wanted except choking. Pulling hair but gently because I'd be massaging your head & running my fingers thru your hair. The other kinky things that people consider kinky that I would do is fuck you in the ass + sucking on your TOES.