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Is it OK for your female partner to have a lesbian lover?

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LarsKaiden
Active Ink Slinger
Guys,

How would you feel if your female partner had a lesbian lover? So long as their relationship did not interfere with the relationship between you and your female partner, would this be an acceptable situation to you? Why or why not?

GW.
realz
Active Ink Slinger
My ex wife was admittedly bisexual when we met.

We did not have a full open marriage (for most of those years) but fairly heavy flirting was ok. However during all that time I was always far less comfortable when she was with a woman than when she was with a man. I never did get over that discomfort.

(Eventually we went our separate ways, but remain close. She's now married to a cross dressing guy and they're into the BDSM scene)
Meggsy
Active Ink Slinger
Lover in an established relationship or a casual one.?
I and my gf FWB have on occasions had a casual affair with a lesbian. As bi girls we see no problem.
Our guys don't have a problem with us doing so either, so long as we remain bi.
My first girl girl affair failed because she was a lesbian and objected to me being bi and engaging with boys.
Guest
Lurker
My wife is bi and I have known that she was before we evan met. she has had a few female lovers on the side. Not only do I not have a problem with it I have always encouraged it.
Guest
Lurker
I was dating a girl who was bi and she told me that she had a girlfriend. At first i was weary because i've never been in the situation before. But once i met the girlfriend we actually became good friends and i was okay with my girlfriend having a girl on the side when im not around. But that was a long time ago. But if i were to be put into that situation again, i would have no problem having my girlfriend have a girl on the side, as long as she was honest about it.
malebox
Active Ink Slinger
as long as I can have my gay lover that works for me.
pegasus2126
Active Ink Slinger
A good idea. Then could ask to watch
firefytr31
Active Ink Slinger
If I could get my wife to consider the thought I would say hell yea. It can only enhance what we already have as long as it does not affect us, even if it did I would be happy for her.
Unknown User
I would allow it, even encourage it, if it was something that would make her happy and give her some enjoyment. Of course, I'd hope that the same courtesy would be extended to my interest in men.

That said, I don't really see any sign of it. She's straight as they come and I've known her for 25 years so if there was any reason to think otherwise, I'd hope I'd have found it by now.
dpw
Active Ink Slinger
Why should it matter that the affair is with a lesbian? If you can get your head round her having an affair, what difference should it make?
Presumably there isn't an open relationship, so cheating is cheating. The gender and sexual orientation is, in my opinion, irrelevant.
Evie
Blackbird Supernova
Quote by dpw
Why should it matter that the affair is with a lesbian? If you can get your head round her having an affair, what difference should it make?
Presumably there isn't an open relationship, so cheating is cheating. The gender and sexual orientation is, in my opinion, irrelavent.


I'd say you are much more socially advanced than a large portion of society at large. Many people still aspire to the traditional monogamous relationship of one partner per person. There is a cultivated need for 'ownership' of another person that, while it is slowly being eroded through ideas of polyamory and multiple partner households, is still fairly entrenched in our culture. Not only that, but for many heterosexual couples, the need to feel like you are your partner's 'only guy' or 'only girl' is nearly overwhelming. Many people can't get over the need to feel special in that way. Again, these are all socially orchestrated rules, but they have been around for hundreds of years.

I'd love to see a less 'ownership' based society when it comes to relationships, but that would require a significant shift in a super majority of the world population. That takes time.
Mancman2010
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by malebox
as long as I can have my gay lover that works for me.


That seems like a fair deal. It would work for me!
fireman
Fireman
I would prefer she has a woman lover who is bisexual. That way she can share her with me once in awhile. However, it wouldn't bother me if her lover was a lesbian if it doesn't interfere with my relationship with my lover.
Buz
The Linebacker
If you're in a relationship that's just supposed to be the two of you then that would be cheating. If you're in an open relationship then that's just playing. And why would it matter if it were a women or a man? A third person is a third person.
dpw
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Mancman2010


That seems like a fair deal. It would work for me!

Now you just have to convince the missus, lol.
Mancman2010
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by dpw

Now you just have to convince the missus, lol.


That would be a challenge and a half!
dpw
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Mancman2010


That would be a challenge and a half!

Ah, but think of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!
Guest
Lurker
My girl had an affair with another woman and it hurt me just as much as it would if it was a guy, she states that it shouldn't matter to me because it's a woman.

Her reasoning was if I want to fuck other men that's ok, haha great but I'm not that way inclined

I say "well if you wanna fuck other women then that's fine with me but I will too"

The shit hit the fan after that lol

Talk about having your cake and eating it!
Rick_Valley
Active Ink Slinger
I personally don't mind if my wife has sex with another person, male or female, so long as I'm a part of the experience. I guess if my wife wanted to have a quick fling with someone else it would be ok. I would have to know about it and agree to it in advance. Having an affair is not ok. Maybe it a cultural thing but I need to be the person who satifies the majority of my wife's emotional and sexual needs. Swinging, threesomes etc. are just icing on the cake and they keep things fresh.
oklahomaguy
Advanced Wordsmith
It would be ok I think women should enjoy everthing they want to try you only live once and her having a lover makes her life more happy I say go for it
WellMadeMale
Constant Gardener
I wouldn't appreciate her having a lesbian lover anymore than I would if she were carrying on with another hetero male.

If she enjoyed the company of another bisexual woman, more power to her/them.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
ChuckEPoo
Chuckanator
Hmmm. I don't know how I would respond until it happened. So many factors. Does the girl want a long lasting love relationship? A sexual adventure. A threesome? Is she butch or feminine? Bi or gay?
Beffer
Rainbow Warrior
I make it very simple. I won't have a relationship with any guy who has a problem with sharing me, particularly with other girls.
Iwtplay
Rookie Scribe
I personally am turned on by the thought of my partner with another woman. If it's out in the open it would add another dimension to our sex life. Even if I wasn't involved, her talking about it with me would be very arousing.
Meggsy
Active Ink Slinger
If it's not then he can go elsewhere. Being Bi is natural for me and he has to live with it.
Guest
Lurker
well yeah, my o/t is often fantasing with me about a threesome, mostly mff, and I get so turned on about the thought of me being with another woman and pleasuring each other while he watches us. the thought of this turns us both on .
we have not done this for real,but often wonder what it would be like.
ive also told my h/t that I would promise not to be jealous if he wanted with another woman,as it would be a real turn on for both of us.
we had sex earlier and our conversation turned to threesomes, and how he wanted to play with both of us. but only if we all knew all out in the open,and being truthful to each other.
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
I wouldn't care all that much about it, to be fully honest. I would even encourage it if it was something my partner deeply wanted. For one, it can greatly reduce the risks of 'sexual boredom' in a relationship by offering her an experience that's totally different from what I could offer her myself, plus it can raise her level of independence toward me (something I value highly).

I never experienced it with any of my previous girlfriends though. Some of them were bi-curious (to at least a slight degree), yet we never really felt the need to attempt it and/or the opportunity never presented itself. My previous relationships having never lasted more than 2 years probably has something to do with it.

I could also see the possibility of threesomes every now and then (especially if the other girl was hot), though as I've mentioned many times before it isn't something that particularly appeals me; I much prefer one-on-one sex.


Quote by dpw
Why should it matter that the affair is with a lesbian? If you can get your head round her having an affair, what difference should it make?
Presumably there isn't an open relationship, so cheating is cheating. The gender and sexual orientation is, in my opinion, irrelevant.


For me, there's a huge difference between a female partner as opposed to a male partner.

With a female partner, the sexual experience would be something totally different from what I could offer her myself, as I mentioned previously. There wouldn't be any form of 'competition' between me and her other lover, as it would likely be the case if she was having sex with another man. That way, there wouldn't be any chance that she could prefer her alternative partner, and definitely leave me for her.

The general interaction is also very different in a male/female relationship than it is with a female/female one. As a man, I enjoy feeling like the protector/rescuer toward my female partner, which gives me a sense of purpose and which I absolutely love; I like to feel exclusive/unique in that regard, and a male partner would likely compete against me on these terms.

A female/female relationship is usually based a lot more on friendship/confidences; the interaction with her lover wouldn't be all that different from the way she would interact with her standard female friends. She could interact with her in any way she'd want, I wouldn't bother and wouldn't feel any form of jealousy, pretty much like I didn't exactly care what my previous girlfriends discussed about when they had intimate discussions with their female friends.
Ls63563
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by BethanyFrasier
I make it very simple. I won't have a relationship with any guy who has a problem with sharing me, particularly with other girls.

What Bethany said!!
dpw
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by SereneProdigy
I wouldn't care all that much about it, to be fully honest. I would even encourage it if it was something my partner deeply wanted. For one, it can greatly reduce the risks of 'sexual boredom' in a relationship by offering her an experience that's totally different from what I could offer her myself, plus it can raise her level of independence toward me (something I value highly).

I never experienced it with any of my previous girlfriends though. Some of them were bi-curious (to at least a slight degree), yet we never really felt the need to attempt it and/or the opportunity never presented itself. My previous relationships having never lasted more than 2 years probably has something to do with it.

I could also see the possibility of threesomes every now and then (especially if the other girl was hot), though as I've mentioned many times before it isn't something that particularly appeals me; I much prefer one-on-one sex.




For me, there's a huge difference between a female partner as opposed to a male partner.

With a female partner, the sexual experience would be something totally different from what I could offer her myself, as I mentioned previously. There wouldn't be any form of 'competition' between me and her other lover, as it would likely be the case if she was having sex with another man. That way, there wouldn't be any chance that she could prefer her alternative partner, and definitely leave me for her.

The general interaction is also very different in a male/female relationship than it is with a female/female one. As a man, I enjoy feeling like the protector/rescuer toward my female partner, which gives me a sense of purpose and which I absolutely love; I like to feel exclusive/unique in that regard, and a male partner would likely compete against me on these terms.

A female/female relationship is usually based a lot more on friendship/confidences; the interaction with her lover wouldn't be all that different from the way she would interact with her standard female friends. She could interact with her in any way she wanted, I wouldn't bother and wouldn't feel any form of jealousy, pretty much like I didn't exactly care what my previous girlfriends discussed about when they had intimate discussions with their female friends.

I was expecting a post like this, I'm only surprised it's you.
So, you find out that your girlfriend is having an affair behind your back. All those times she couldn't make a date with you. All the calls that are secretive. All those hints that there's something going on. All your suspicions that she's seeing somebody else. Of course, you think it's another guy, guys always do. You're pissed that she's making a fool of you, thinking she could two time you with another guy! You would never cheat on her, would you?
Then you find out, it's with another girl! All the anger goes because it's with a girl. She's got a pussy and you haven't. She can give her things that you can't. She can be sensitive and feminine!
BOLLOCKS! SHE FUCKING CHEATED! SHE LIED!
A guy with a 10 inch cock can give her things you can't. A bisexual guy can give her things you can't. Are they okay as well?
The question is like a porn fantasy, walking in on your girlfiend with another woman and joining in. What about the build up, with the months of lying? The betrayal of trust.
Cheating is cheating. There is no excuse for that. Tell your partner first.
dpw
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by BethanyFrasier
I make it very simple. I won't have a relationship with any guy who has a problem with sharing me, particularly with other girls.

Being upfront is totally different. There's no cheating involved.