Hi Men of Lush!!! I need some input from you, and the ladies as well if they have any!!!
I have been with my husband since I was 14, well on and off during HS but for the most part on. We've been married 12 yrs. Threw them years I put on some weight here and there with pregnancies, a back surgery, quitting smoking. I never got HUGE, I never had to shop in the plus size department but compared to what I once was, I was pretty big. In the last 2 months though I have lost 26 pounds. My husband hasn't really said a word except one morning while in my night gown I bent over in front of him to pick something up off the floor and he said "Wow, Honey, your butt is getting smaller!" I turned around smiled and said thank you with a chuckle and gave him a kiss.
That has been it. Nothing more. I work in a predominately male work environment and all of them have noticed and all of them make comments like Wow you are really looking hot. And things like that, this happens on a daily basis just about. Why hasn't he really said anything to me? I am not only losing this weight for myself but also for him. I want to be sexy and hot for him. When I weigh in weekly I will say to him 2 more pounds gone honey! Or whatever the scale said. He says "Good Job Honey" but never remarks about my changing body. Nor did he remark about my changing body when I put this weight on either though... Well, nope he did, my boobs got HUGE, bigger then usual, I am usually a C, they were a D. HE LOVED IT! lol.
I have asked him about this and he says "Well I see you everyday" Well ok, but so do the men at work and they still notice.
I am so frustrated....... it isn't 5 pounds were talking here.... lol.
Thank you!!!
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Husband doesn't notice, but other men do...
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I have asked him about this and he says "Well I see you everyday" Well ok, but so do the men at work and they still notice.
You answered your own question with that.
You've got some approval-seeking behavior going on and when that happens, you're never going to get all the approval you crave. You should be happy and proud of what you've accomplished and if you truly love yourself, that alone is enough. I gave the ex compliments about herself but it was never enough.
Guys at work will tell you you look good and lost weight all day long because they want to get into your pants. They're perving on you and constantly look for something to talk about to you.
Rocco said it.
But my question for you Vdub is, did you ever ask your man if he prefere a little bit more of you? Maybe there is a reason why he is not commenting your appearance.. (not that you should start to gain weight because of 'his preferences', of course, but just for the sake of comunication between partners..)
But my question for you Vdub is, did you ever ask your man if he prefere a little bit more of you? Maybe there is a reason why he is not commenting your appearance.. (not that you should start to gain weight because of 'his preferences', of course, but just for the sake of comunication between partners..)
Alpha Blonde
Maybe he's not commenting on it because he doesn't want you to think that he felt there was anything wrong with you at your heavier weight. If he says "wow, honey you are looking so hot now that you're losing weight", it somehow implies that he didn't find you sexy when you were heavier. He might just not want to give you a complex, incase at some point in the future you ever end up getting heavier again? Just a thought... Whenever it comes to men remarking about a woman's weight (whether it's a positive or negative comment), they tend to get nervous because they know what a sensitive subject it is for women, and they don't want to end up making a seemingly minor comment that ends up blowing up on them later.
Anyway, congrats on your weight loss! If you want him to notice, why don't you buy a hot new outfit at the end of each month and surprise him by showing off your sexy new bod! If he doesn't notice or appreciate then....well, there might be other issues at work there.
Good luck!
Anyway, congrats on your weight loss! If you want him to notice, why don't you buy a hot new outfit at the end of each month and surprise him by showing off your sexy new bod! If he doesn't notice or appreciate then....well, there might be other issues at work there.
Good luck!
Active Ink Slinger
About 3 months ago, I stopped breastfeeding my baby and worked very hard to lose 10 pounds that I felt were "extra." My friends noticed and commented. My husband didn't. Men can definitely be oblivious, but I prefer to look at it in a positive light. He loves me the way I am. I'm sure your husband loves you at any weight.
Constant Gardener
Rocco and Dancing Doll hit the nail on the head here. I would type something, typically over the top smart ass, but I feel that in this case you are sincere.
You two have been together for quite awhile it sounds like and he cares for you and your feelings. The guys at the office?
They want to work their majic on ya. lol
You're husband sounds like a keeper. Good for both of you!
You two have been together for quite awhile it sounds like and he cares for you and your feelings. The guys at the office?
They want to work their majic on ya. lol
You're husband sounds like a keeper. Good for both of you!
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by WellMadeMale
Rocco and Dancing Doll hit the nail on the head here. I would type something, typically over the top smart ass, but I feel that in this case you are sincere.
You two have been together for quite awhile it sounds like and he cares for you and your feelings. The guys at the office?
They want to work their majic on ya. lol
You're husband sounds like a keeper. Good for both of you!
What he said.Been there, seen it done it. The Dude in a no win situation when it comes to the comments.
What you could try is a nice of passion, indoors, no kids, and wear whatever it is that utrns him on. Given that you'll be wearing the smaller sized outfits now, he is bound to not only notice, but also comment. I did.
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
I agree with everyone here. The husband is less likely to want to hurt you in anyway, while the guys in the office want inside your panties. Let me ask you this, if your husband were to come up and ask you if his dick was big enough and you were satisfied would you be comfortable answering him?
Active Ink Slinger
He probably doesn't want to say the wrong thing! I know all you want is him to notice especially as you are doing it for yourself and him but he probably likes you anyway whether your a bit bigger or smaller.
Advanced Wordsmith
I've been married to the same woman now for almost 25 years. When we met she was just 21 years old with a slim athletic figure and I found her hot beyond all reason. Now she's 45 years old, weighs more than I do and has changed completely. Despite all of which I love her just as much, want her more than ever and would not trade her in for anyone. Frankly it's only by thinking about it, or looking at old photos that I even see the difference. Maybe your husband feels the same way, he's not seeing you as any different, nor loving you any more because he never loved you any less. When you decide to improve your looks or lifestyle, do it for yourself. Enjoy the extra attention other men are giving you but remember the man who stayed with you when you didn't feel so great about yourself.
One other thing, fishing for compliments makes it really hard for someone to give them spontaneously. A compliment like the one he gave you means much more than one you asked for, to both of you. Congratulations on the weight loss, not an easy thing to do and you have every right to feel proud of yourself!
One other thing, fishing for compliments makes it really hard for someone to give them spontaneously. A compliment like the one he gave you means much more than one you asked for, to both of you. Congratulations on the weight loss, not an easy thing to do and you have every right to feel proud of yourself!
If you're going through hell, keep going. - Winston Churchill
Wild at Heart
I agree with angelicadmirer. The guys at your work probably just want to bang you and add another notch on their bedpost... Also in the workplace I tend to compliment women when I feel the want one so I don't seem like a dick and also to let her know I'm attracted to her if she ever wants to do anything.
Also you can have a really nice car that everyone compliments but you don't walk out every morning and tell your spouse how awesome your car is because you're used to it. Sorry for comparing women with cars but it's just the first example that came to my head.
Also you can have a really nice car that everyone compliments but you don't walk out every morning and tell your spouse how awesome your car is because you're used to it. Sorry for comparing women with cars but it's just the first example that came to my head.
Active Ink Slinger
If your husband loves you he thinks you're beautiful, it won't matter if your ninety pounds or a hundred and eighty, you're his pretty little thing. Men are not really given to compliments unless, like Rocco said, they're after something.
"Happiness is doing it rotten your own way."Isaac Asimov (1994)
As someone else suggested, he might be afraid of commenting (though I tend to agree he had probably noticed, or thought to share his observation with you) in case you might counter with either, 1) "so i was fat before?," or 2) "why didn't you say you wanted me to lose weight, or stop bringing home those cartons of ice cream?" Some women might appreciate that their partner is interested enough in their health, self-esteem, goals and such to be more involved and cheering them on towards improvement. That is, if both sides are open about pleasing one another and seeing each other lifted up or improving.....
Active Ink Slinger
Well I was typing a reply, but I took a look at what other said before posting it, and saw that dancing_doll had said it already. We, men, don't want to hurt a woman by suggesting that our love for her has anything to do with her being fat/thin.