How many chumps does it take to turn on a lightbulb?

18 Apr 2009

Quote by lexylove
Quote by mutualplzr812
I think it's french for that. Ok. I'll change it.
;)

Of course now those posts have lost all context...
leaving a distorted historical record...

18 Apr 2009

I was 11 at the time

19 Apr 2009

Quote by Pixie
Masterbation?? Never heard of it!

...well allow me to show you.x

19 Apr 2009

At the tender age of 8 I started rubbing and humping my pillows and stuffed animals. Haven't stopped since.

19 Apr 2009

Quote by sexplease
Quote by Pixie
Masterbation?? Never heard of it!
...well allow me to show you.x

Thanks......but Im sure I can figure it out for myself.ueCBt9bWJRv1X4T0

♥ Listen, touch, and look around in the air and on the ground. If you watch all nature's things, you might just see a fairy's wings. ♥

19 Apr 2009

Quote by MerryAnita
At the tender age of 8 I started rubbing and humping my pillows and stuffed animals. Haven't stopped since.

Mr Teddy is still smiling!

20 Apr 2009

i was 12 and i got caught by my aunt she finished me off

20 Apr 2009

How very considerate of her...
help

Hope the police wasn't gentle when they came to get her.

20 Apr 2009

♥ Listen, touch, and look around in the air and on the ground. If you watch all nature's things, you might just see a fairy's wings. ♥

20 Apr 2009

Quote by frank18
i was 12 and i got caught by my aunt she finished me off

Frank, I know your apropos-of-nothing chat requests went nowhere, so now you've gone for the attention grab. How's this? Why don't you go to the newbies section, introduce yourself, tell us a little about yourself if the mood grabs you, and settle in that way?

Just an idea...might gather more flies than the vinegar of incestuous masturbation references.

22 Apr 2009

22 Apr 2009

Quote by frank18
i was 12 and i got caught by my aunt she finished me off

Good old Aunt Bee!

1 May 2009

I was 12. It was shortly after my first cum from a wet dream.

1 May 2009

I remember that. I was 11.

1 May 2009

I was 10. It was right after the first time my much older cousin touched me inappropriately. I thought it was filthy and evil. I used to wrap tissue around my cock, that way, I wasn't actually "touching" myself, so it ameliorated the sinful aspect. I did that for several years, until I realised what a waste of tissue that was.

2 May 2009

I was nine when I first started really playing with myself

Even when you're blindfolded, Hindsite is 20/20

2 May 2009

Sixteen

I know, I know... still making up for lost time

And, I'm sooooo jealous of Mr. Teddy

3 May 2009

13 or 14....and it was SO all about Simon leBon of Duran Duran....now THAT's the embarrassing part....

"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx

6 May 2009

Love the new avatar Castlequeen =d>

8 May 2009

I was 6...I started early. I discovered the feeling down there by accident and once I did, there was no turning back.

8 May 2009

Quite young. Found out rolling on the floor watching Saturday morning toons, that it was a very good feeling to slowly and gently circle and roll my hips on the floor. With my hands...about 11 in military school.

17 May 2009

I think I was about 9 or 10. I was in bed one night and wanted to act out a scene from the movie One Night At McCool's where Liv Tyler is having sex with some guy, so I tried doing it against my bed imagining I was having sex with Liv Tyler. That day unlocked so many good times up until I met my first girl. free-sexy-smileys-947

17 May 2009

I was thirteen. I had discovered that washing my penis felt good, so I was sitting on the edge of the tub lathering it up and stroking it. This time it felt better than usual. I soon had my very first erection. I kept rubbing it until suddenly, my brain got all fuzzy and dizzy for a moment. I had no idea what had happened, but it was strangely good. I repeated this every time I took a bath, having no idea that I was engaging in any kind of sex. Maybe a few months later, I met my new neighbors, and their red-headed daughter who was about my age. That night I dreamed about her and had my first ejaculation. After I woke up (with my shorts wet!), I experimented in the dark and discovered how to do it again. I was doing it several times every night from then on.

You've been a bad girl! Now take your pajamas off and go to my room!

20 May 2009

I was - believe it or not - no older than 3. I know this because of the room and bed I was in. I started to play with it and it felt good... kept on going and bam! The wave swept over me, numbed me... the intensity of the pleasure frightened me and I thought I'd done something really bad to myself. Took me a while to try it again (a week?) and I've done it about fifteen thousand (conservative estimate) times since... plus all the sex - and there'sbeen lots of that. Aren't cocks amazingly sturdy, indispensible and handy things?

21 May 2009

I will try it too.

I believe I was two days age when I first masturbated. I was born ready for it because my genetical memories were directly available for me thanks to my superior DNA's. These superior heritage also made my dick 25 inches long and 8 inches wide. This is why I still keep masturbating because there are no suitable female genetical organs for it. I tried organisms from anton-6 (a far planet) but gave up the idea when the rhinoceraptoragigalantaus nigris died.

21 May 2009

Quote by ArconathResonath
the rhinoceraptoragigalantaus nigris died.

The What???

21 May 2009

It is the dominant sentient life form in anton-6. It is a rhinoceros + raptor (not rhinoceraptor, mind you) which is gigantic + black. And I believe I just my own sarcasm too.

21 May 2009

kind of old for this sort of thing... 17. god that made me blush!!

21 May 2009

I'm putting together a study to determine if masturbation leads to a more productive and healthy sex life. I'll need 50 - 100 test subjects both male and female to masturbate daily and another 50 - 100 who will not masturbate for an entire year. The test subjects will be required to have sex while being filmed and relate their experience. We would prefer if the subjects are of good health and willing to have sex for at least 1 - 2 hours while the tester, that's me, studies and arranges sexual situations for research purposes. At the end of the year we'll determine if masturbation is healthy or unhealthy to your sex life. Participants will not be compensated for their travel or time but will be able to participate in a huge hot tub orgy at the end of the session.

Ok, removing clipboard and ready to sign people up.

*writes in own name*

free-sexy-smileys-947

21 May 2009

No thanks satyr.
I'll help you monitor the videos though.

Are you sure?