I've been married to an asshole for 39 years.
Need I say more?
yes I've had my heart torn out very recently actually, and I think about her and her son constantly. I'd take her back in a heartbeat but im still unsure why she took off in the first place. I think it hurts more with her than with any other girl because I had gotten very attached to her son as well...we had talked about marriage and I was really looking forward to having a family with her.
I'll admit I did once but I quickly learn to get over it
Yep. I lost all interest in dating, and even sex for about a year and a half. Pined off and on, but made an active effort to not date at all. It wasn't very hard since I never left my house except to go to work or school. There was a period of time when there were people coming and going from the house/commune I lived at so frequently I couldn't help but have the occasional fling, but my heart was never really in it, and I knew I was just the replacement boyfriend/road boyfriend/out-of-town boyfriend (no, I was never with people who were in committed or monogamous relationships) and that was fine. Then another long period of solitude, and then I met a girl who swept me off my feet, lured me into her chambers and I never left. Been together for months, totally in love. Sometimes giving up works out, though I never really endorse the plan.
If you still didn't "need" them, then you wouldn't be heartbroken.
Duh!
Perhaps the question you need to ask yourself is why your heart is unable to heal and needs to continue believing what will never be?
Sometimes you have to face up to other experiences in life which are what is behind your current predicament.....
I took 18 months to get over something once. Really, if there hadn't been something in the background, it was the sort of situation you could get over in days, certainly weeks.
Something else took a decade. That was guilt associated, not hurt associated, though.
Maybe a question you should ask yourself is this: is there a reason I am falling in love with the wrong women? What are my actions telling me about where I am in life and what will I have to do to bring myself to the place where I will be attracted to the right women for me????