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Have you ever fucked any type of fruit?

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If so, which fruit?

10 votes remaining
Cantaloupe/rockmelon (1 vote) 10%
Watermelon (2 votes) 20%
Papaya (0 votes) 0%
Bowl of strawberry Jelly (1 vote) 10%
Peach (for little weiners) (1 vote) 10%
Pineapple. OUCH! (1 vote) 10%
Jar of grape jelly (0 votes) 0%
HELL YEAH! it's nutritious (1 vote) 10%
No fucking way, I hate fruit. (4 votes) 40%
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
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my wife's a fruit...

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Guest
Lurker
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Maybe it's boring, or just sane, but I have to admit I have never been amorous with a fruit
Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
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Quote by trinket

I'll bet she's a peach


That made me laugh out loud, Trinks.


Never fucked a fruit. I did have a crush on a pomegranate once. It was not meant to be. She was pretty seedy.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
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btw, what is a rock melon? is that some Australian thing?

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

trinket
Convict
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Quote by sprite
btw, what is a rock melon? is that some Australian thing?


It's what we call a cantaloupe. I don't know why, it's nothing like a rock.

Quote by Verbal


That made me laugh out loud, Trinks.

Never fucked a fruit. I did have a crush on a pomegranate once. It was not meant to be. She was pretty seedy.


This is why I love you Verbs.
Guest
Lurker
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I dated a girl who turned out to be a bit of a fruit cake, if that counts?
Unknown User
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Alas, I have never been intimate with a fruit. I can't really answer the last option, though, since I don't actually hate fruit, just never had sexual feelings for it.
simplyjohn
Site administrator
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Gala apples... not even in the options... *facepalms*
Guest
Lurker
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I've fucked myself with a banana and a cucumber but not at the same time - the cucumber was amazing just like a big thick cock
Gillianleeeza
Normal Adjacent
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Quote by trinket
I'm going to assume this would be done with room temperature fruit. If there are other fruity things you've dipped your wick into, let the people know!


I'm not a guy but this did make me laugh. I keep picturing someone with one of those tiny sample sized jars of grape jelly. Or when I first saw this and didn't realize it was an "ask the guys" I pictured someone trying put jello where it's not exactly going to stay.Eizh0XBPDrFWRwpC

Just how bored are you Trinket?
mafketel
Active Ink Slinger
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This horny boy in his early puberty used a banana peel...
Just_A_Guy_You_Know
Wouldn't you rather have a nice cup of tea?
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A blueberry.

Don't believe everything that you read.

69Kisses96
Active Ink Slinger
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As a young lad, I was smitten by a lovely fruit. I asked her to run away with me, but alas, she said, "We cantaloupe."

Actually, I did read in Penthouse Forum a letter from a guy who bought a cantaloupe, left it out overnight, cut an appropriate sized hole, and had his way with it. Being the impressionable young boy I was, I tried it. It was awesome!
trinket
Convict
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Quote by Just_A_Guy_You_Know
A blueberry.

I knew a guy like that once...

Quote by mafketel
This horny boy in his early puberty used a banana peel...

Something I say quite often is that "I learn something new on lush, every day." Someone mentioned the banana peel thing to me last night and I'll admit I was shocked. Not judging! Just shocked at how inventive some people are
Buz
The Linebacker
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If I did, it would have to be a large watermelon or a pumpkin. I'd start romantically with a tablecloth candlelight dinner, some expensive white wine, and flowers. I'd wear a tuxedo. Some soft music playing low. I guess we'd proceed from there.
hopp3r
Active Ink Slinger
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When I was a horny teenager with no options, I did some weird shit with my dick but never fucked a fruit. To each their own though.

I can’t think of a good tagline so this will have to do. Suggest a better one for me?

Snojoe69
Advanced Wordsmith
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Define fruit. Does a cantaloupe with a hole in the end of it and set in an oven for 30 minutes at 175 deg. F. Constitute as fruit? Figured it as sensual baked goods.
Guest
Lurker
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A large watermellon, left out in the sun for the day, and creatively "carved" (with a beveled hole), makes for an interesting night of camping when you are a lonely young boy, in the back yard.
69Kisses96
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by HeraTeleia
Hmm. No. Probably because I don't know the age of consent for any given fruit or vegetable. Is it at first ripening? Fully ripe? Slightly past ripe and mushy? Full on mushy? The mind boggles.


Do french fries whisper "Eat me", in your ear? Or do you always tell them this afterward?


trinket
Convict
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Quote by HeraTeleia
Hmm. No. Probably because I don't know the age of consent for any given fruit or vegetable. Is it at first ripening? Fully ripe? Slightly past ripe and mushy? Full on mushy? The mind boggles.


The stage of ripeness would depend upon the gender of the fruiter (or is it the fruitee?)i would imagine. Surely a man would aim for "mushy", while a woman would be seeking a more firm fruit.
simplyjohn
Site administrator
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Quote by trinket


The stage of ripeness would depend upon the gender of the fruiter (or is it the fruitee?)i would imagine. Surely a man would aim for "mushy", while a woman would be seeking a more firm fruit.


Lol... so a floppy fruit is no good then? Counts me out.
Milik_the_Red
Internet Philosopher
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No. My hand is the best toy I've ever found
Just_A_Guy_You_Know
Wouldn't you rather have a nice cup of tea?
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In season, locally sourced or fair trade, non-gmo, 100% organic, unprocessed...

Don't believe everything that you read.

Meggsy
Active Ink Slinger
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My girlfriend often looks at my vagina and utters -that looks so juicy and peachy -I could eat it - and she usually does.