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Getting over someone...
how you get over some? Well i think it's accepting it and facing the truth even if it hurts you. It's swallowing every pain you feel and letting yourself see that he/she is better without you. I guess that's how i do it, cause if i wont allow myself to see or be aware of what's happening i won't be able to help myself when it comes to forgetting him/her.
Active Ink Slinger
I agree with the accepting. Take your time to come to terms with it, but don't lock yourself up. Go out and run, bike, whatever you prefer, wear yourself down. Clear your head and do something that makes you feel good about yourself. Don't let someone else affect your life, your feelings too much, it's not worth it.
And when you take back control, you'll notice there's plenty of other, even better, fish in the sea.
And when you take back control, you'll notice there's plenty of other, even better, fish in the sea.
Active Ink Slinger
It's living with the pain everyday, hoping that one day it wont hurt anymore.
Alpha Blonde
If you've fallen hard for someone, its best to cut them out of your life until you are totally over them. This means not trying to 'be friends' just after a break up if you're still dealing with hurt/hopeful feelings about them. Time really does heal all, but it has to be legitimate time apart, not time emailing them, stalking their facebook, asking mutual friends what your ex is up to etc. If you feel the need to be friends with this ex, then do it 3-6 months down the road, when the mental cobwebs of your failed relationship have cleared.
Then... spend more time with your friends. Book a fun vacation. Indulge in something you've always wanted to do (eg. take up a new hobby, or finish that story you've been meaning to submit to Lush). A new focus will take your mind off things.
If you're up for it, consider a rebound fling(s). It'll get you over the fact that your ex is the last person you slept with. Think of it like a sexual cleanse. Also, it will be good for your sexual self-esteem and ego, and get your juices flowing again.
Wait several months (or longer) before trying to 'seriously date' again. You need to get over someone, before you can think of getting 'into' someone else, when it comes to starting a new relationship.
Then... spend more time with your friends. Book a fun vacation. Indulge in something you've always wanted to do (eg. take up a new hobby, or finish that story you've been meaning to submit to Lush). A new focus will take your mind off things.
If you're up for it, consider a rebound fling(s). It'll get you over the fact that your ex is the last person you slept with. Think of it like a sexual cleanse. Also, it will be good for your sexual self-esteem and ego, and get your juices flowing again.
Wait several months (or longer) before trying to 'seriously date' again. You need to get over someone, before you can think of getting 'into' someone else, when it comes to starting a new relationship.
Active Ink Slinger
you don't get over it.. you live with it.. some days it hurts less than others.. but always.. it hurts..
I think the best way to get over someone is by tidying the house up like mad having a clear out, and keeping your mind as BUSY as possible. Never ever read those self-help books. Action is my key word; as soon as you stop or sit down with a brew you start thinking and that leads to over-active thinking.
After my worst break up with my first love, I spent about 2 weeks being depressed and crying constantly.
But one day I decided he wasnt worth being that upset over, that i should get over it and start my life again. I cut him out of my life, deleted his number, all photos I had, just everything that reminded me of him. You'll know when you're there because one day you'll realise you havent thought about them in a long time. It takes a long time and I still have my bad days after 2 years but I dont miss him and dont get upset when thinking about him anymore.
Just give it time
But one day I decided he wasnt worth being that upset over, that i should get over it and start my life again. I cut him out of my life, deleted his number, all photos I had, just everything that reminded me of him. You'll know when you're there because one day you'll realise you havent thought about them in a long time. It takes a long time and I still have my bad days after 2 years but I dont miss him and dont get upset when thinking about him anymore.
Just give it time
Constant Gardener
What a thought provoking question.
It's been just over ten years that I felt I had to try, to get over someone. And it was nearly 18 years before that.
I tend to forget what I did in each instance, for a moment. But after remembering, I recall that I just forced myself to remember what I was doing before I met 'her'...and get on with my life again.
In both instances, it was back to being a horn dawg, with regard to how I behaved towards women. Back to doing those things I enjoyed doing all by myself and with what male friends I still hung out with, before I met 'her'.
In each case I also poured myself into my career with a renewed sense of vigor. In neither case did I sit around and lick my wounds or isolate myself and whimper like a lost puppy.
Any and all photos or letters/cards (emails) I put into a shoebox and then into a closet.
Now whenever I think about either of those women, I realize that I am in love with the memory of them, of who they were 28 and 10 years ago. I wonder if they think about me, and decide, "No, probably not, you dork. Go fucking do something constructive."
Time apart doesn't really heal anything, dude. But it does give you time and space apart from the immediacy of the moment and perceived hurts.
If you really loved 'her'...you always will.
It's been just over ten years that I felt I had to try, to get over someone. And it was nearly 18 years before that.
I tend to forget what I did in each instance, for a moment. But after remembering, I recall that I just forced myself to remember what I was doing before I met 'her'...and get on with my life again.
In both instances, it was back to being a horn dawg, with regard to how I behaved towards women. Back to doing those things I enjoyed doing all by myself and with what male friends I still hung out with, before I met 'her'.
In each case I also poured myself into my career with a renewed sense of vigor. In neither case did I sit around and lick my wounds or isolate myself and whimper like a lost puppy.
Any and all photos or letters/cards (emails) I put into a shoebox and then into a closet.
Now whenever I think about either of those women, I realize that I am in love with the memory of them, of who they were 28 and 10 years ago. I wonder if they think about me, and decide, "No, probably not, you dork. Go fucking do something constructive."
Time apart doesn't really heal anything, dude. But it does give you time and space apart from the immediacy of the moment and perceived hurts.
If you really loved 'her'...you always will.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Active Ink Slinger
Some real good point's WMM,
I never, ever believed in the; give your self time before jumping into a new relationship theory.
At least not 100%
Thats just me, and I'm not getting any younger.
I say go full bore, an seek out a fresh new gal.
If she's not right,,try, try again.
I never, ever believed in the; give your self time before jumping into a new relationship theory.
At least not 100%
Thats just me, and I'm not getting any younger.
I say go full bore, an seek out a fresh new gal.
If she's not right,,try, try again.
There's no TRUE way to get over someone.
It takes time and only you know how to deal with problems.
I would have to say some good old TLC. Spend some time on yourself. Write in a journal maybe, that helped me alot. Write that person letters, but don't send them. That can help you express your feeling for the person and the breakup.
And ALWAYS!!! surround yourself with good friends who know whats going on and are there for you no matter what. Good friends are always something you need.
Hope things get easier.
lots of love, Sheriff.
Rei♥
It takes time and only you know how to deal with problems.
I would have to say some good old TLC. Spend some time on yourself. Write in a journal maybe, that helped me alot. Write that person letters, but don't send them. That can help you express your feeling for the person and the breakup.
And ALWAYS!!! surround yourself with good friends who know whats going on and are there for you no matter what. Good friends are always something you need.
Hope things get easier.
lots of love, Sheriff.
Rei♥
