You know what I can’t speak for guys but being in a family that is mostly male; I can say this “they do get comfortable, and they don’t feel the need to please you anymore” they figure you’re not going anywhere so they can just ignore you for long periods of time. But then again not all guys are the same, may be someone here can bring you a better answer… Good luck…!
P.S I know this is gals ask guys but I just wanted to give you my opinion
I'm glad you asked and I hope a lot of fellas give you their opinion...as this is an individual response that will not represent the entire group of us that you can take to the bank.
You learn by living and I'm no longer a youngster so I am applying what I learned from my first marriage of 24 years. I have a beautiful loving wife for the last year and a half (been together for five years). When I decided to get out of my marriage I took what I learned about myself and realized if I was ever lucky enough to fall heads over heels in love I would want to woo-my-girl every day! So far so good...I think about her all the time and can't wait to see her when I get home. She always gets a welcome home kiss that is not redundant...she can tell immediately what is on my mind but what my lips are telling her. She's number one priority in my life even though I have days of mass activity! While life has no guarantee’s I think I found my gem!
If you don't have that kind of importance in each others life why would the love/passion/sex reflect anything different?
Best of luck, but you need to evaluate if this bf is the right match for you or not.
'cause we are like dogs, plain and simple. Give a dog a toy and they love it, chase it, chew it, run around with it in their mouths and sleep with it for sometimes a day, sometimes even two... but then they find a new toy and BAM! they are gone. The old toy forgotten. I think the secret is ya gotta get the dog to love the toy, it has to become their reward for a long hard day of work, it has to become their comfort, their security and their best friend. That takes a lot of work, not just holding it in front of their faces and sayin', "Oh, don't you love it, don't you love it, yes you do, you love this toy, yes you do, love it, love it because it's beautiful and you should." Do that and the dog sniffs it, pees on a bush and walks off sayin' "Yep, I was here and now I see something over there that I need to chase."
Ok, now don't hate the playa', hate da game.
Cause let's be fair, women are like cats. They want to be loved, petted, fed, taken care of, and then left alone. They want to rule the house and they want to have you bring them fine things and dote on them constantly. A cat will play with a toy obsessively for hours but when they loose interest they expect you to know EXACTLY what toy they want to play with next. Cats also will jump in your lap, want to roll around and purr and do what I call "makin' biscuits" on your chest and then suddenly they scratch you for apparently no good damn reason and you are just supposed to know why. You can't just expect a cat to love you, you have to get to know the cat, learn the cat, know what the cat is thinking because she'll never, ever tell ya. If you don't the cat will run away in the middle of the night and never give you a reason why and one day you'll see them with a new owner and they'll look at you like, "SEE! This owner actually LOVES me." and flick their sexy little tail and walk away.
This whole thing is a game. Play it at your own risk. Best thing is, sometimes you find someone that just knows you and you know them. You get to that level of comfort and then the dog never wants to leave that chew toy and the cat sleeps tucked in between the dogs legs every night and purrs like a kitten. When you find that you better just hold on tight because it don't happen often.
Much love to ya, I wish everyone still searching for someone the best. It's a jungle out there, plenty of prey animals and plenty of sheep.
I'll be honest - generally I try to look for a woman that can keep up with me sexually. My libido has never diminished, and if available, I wouldn't complain about having sex several times a day. Unfortunately I don't seem to find that in real like, and the ones that are a sexually-driven as I like end up being wacko nut-cases, or ones looking for a financial free-ride through life. As for losing interest, yes I do tend to lose interest in a woman over time, but usually because I'm left to my own devices for satisfying my needs. If she's taking care of things at home (and I don't mean housework) then I wouldn't have any reason to look anywhere else.
"I can resist everything except temptation." - Oscar Wilde
jimyzgirl,
if i could see that sexy tummy every day i could be UP for whatever you'd want!
g
Wow, I really appreciate all your answers. And your honesty. I was married for 12 years to a man, that I didn't want to touch. I'm sorry to admit that, but I did leave....
I have a very healthy sex drive. I do want it at least once a day. What I can't figure out, is why our sex life would just go away..
I love the new toy analogy....It is true. Both men and women treat a new relationship like a new toy, and after awhile, it does change. But for once in my life, I truly believe I found my soul mate, we are compatable in every sense. I thought sexually too, but that changed. We are in the middle of moving, but once this whole month??? I mean really??? We have been busy, and tired, but it has not diminished my need for him....He holds me every night. Kisses me when I get home, askes me about my day.. In every aspect, we truly have the perfect relationship....and no, sex should not be everything, but I need something. He holds me every night when we sleep. Tells me I'm stunning. He is very romantic and sweet, I just want to know what happend to the sex?? I have tried, everything, from sitting at the table naked, to arousing him other ways.....
Im honestly just like wtf?? I ask him if he's bored? doesn't want me anymore, he says he wants me, and loves me...he doesn't know whats wrong? Is that truthful?? Do men get depressed? and does that affect you alls sex drive??
You guys are awesome, thanks for talking with me...I know this is way personal,,but I wanted opinions.
That update did get me thinking.
I thought maybe human nature/male human nature was acting on him as in what others have talked about...not the new toy anymore.
I'm now thinking there is something else going on here, something he doesn't want to openly talk to you about. I'm sure he is not an idot and if you are talking to him in the nude, it's not a hard cue to see what kind of mood you are in.
So...I think he has an idea about what your needs are but you need to get him in a non-threatening setting and just talk. Now good luck with that because it is obvious there is something going on that he doesn't want to share with you...but that's your job.
You need to let him know that the physical love making is an important part of the relationship to you but you don't need to hammer it home. I would bet he gets that to a degree and some gentle reminding from you may help. Having confirmation that he "gets it" about your needs would be just one less question that needs an answer.
As a generality with men: I opine that we don't like talking about some things (personal things) that are going on in our heads or bodies. We don't like seeing the doctor unless we absolutely have too. You will be very special to him if he opens up.
Best of luck.
I think part of it is that men get comfortable, yes, and they start to change over time but women are the same way. Not all men and all women of course but sometimes both parties stop trying. The women may stop dressing and acting like their sexy selves that first attracted the man and the men may stop taking care of all the girl's needs like they used to in the beginning. Sometimes the man does it in response to the woman not trying and sometimes it's the other way around. Not sure if it is done on purpose or not. Sometimes relationships get more passionate too when two people are really compatible, the more you know about them the more you want them. Seems like you may be in that type of relationship where, the more you know (or he knows) the less attracted he/she is. It sucks I know.
Hasn't happened yet...thank goodness.
