So one of my male friends that I know from high school he just came out that he's bisexual.. I've always thought that he was different.. He was married before but he admitted that he feels more comfortable around guys than girls. Lately whenever we go out he seems to be with a new" boyfriend" every other week.. I have never seen him with a girl. He even told me that he would never get involved romantically with a guy but the best sex he ever had it was with a guy.. So my question is: Is he actually gay but in denial and he claims to be bisexual ?
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Quote by insatiable
So one of my male friends that I know from high school he just came out that he's bisexual.. I've always thought that he was different.. He was married before but he admitted that he feels more comfortable around guys than girls. Lately whenever we go out he seems to be with a new" boyfriend" every other week.. I have never seen him with a girl. He even told me that he would never get involved romantically with a guy but the best sex he ever had it was with a guy.. So my question is: Is he actually gay but in denial and he claims to be bisexual ?
I tend to get myself in hot water with friends on threads like this. So I'll just ask one question before I duck the issue for a while. I'd rather some of the bi guys give an opinion before I put my foot in it.
Question. Does it really matter what he classes himself as? As long as whoever he's with knows how he feels!
Quote by dpw
I tend to get myself in hot water with friends on threads like this. So I'll just ask one question before I duck the issue for a while. I'd rather some of the bi guys give an opinion before I put my foot in it.
Question. Does it really matter what he classes himself as? As long as whoever he's with knows how he feels!
Well I was hoping to try to understand what he is.. That was the point of the topic..
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The message I'd get from this: he likes the meat. Go with the flow. LOL
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Quote by insatiable
Well I was hoping to try to understand what he is.. That was the point of the topic..
What he is is a friend first and formost, his "label" doesn't matter. Let him call himself what he's most comfortable with.
I really hope that my bi friends come in on this to give their opinion, in fact I'll message them to ask them to do so.
My only concern is that the guy or guys who he's with know that he won't be looking for a relationship with them and that it's purely for sex.
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This was my situation and it may apply to the guy you are TALKING ABOUT.
I was involved in a relationship with a girl for a total of almost 9 years. 5 of those years I was married to her. For 7 of those years I was completely faithful to her. Before her I was bisexual and practiced it. Before and after her I have only had sex with guys....never had a romantic connection.
The last 2 years of my marriage were pure hell. Mostly due to our trying to have a baby. We couldn't get pregnant. She was taking hormone pills and shots. We had sex on schedule. We did everything the doctors told us to do. The heavy hormones she took made her have tremendous mood swings. She was irritable all the time and a very unhappy person. She blamed me and the whole world for her inability to get pregnant. One day she packed my bags while I was at work and kicked me to the curb.
We divorced in 2009 and I have not wanted to enter into a relationship yet. The 2 girls that I have gotten involved with after my divorce have quickly become attached and I am not ready for that.
Even on here I have had girls that got way too attached in just a short amount of time. One of the girls on here back in November and December when I was working 2 jobs and couldn't get on here much even got mad at me and confronted me about it as if I was supposed to report in my comings and goings. And yes she knew my schedule had changed. One of the first girls I met and chatted with on here quickly had us meeting, one of us moving, us moving in together, getting married, and having kids.
I am not ready for that and I don't know when I will be. And I have been honest with all the girls. It is not like they didn't know that.
I have been more comfortable having sex with guys and being around guys even on here because for one I don't have those romantic feelings but the guys don't either. If they do they get the same honest story that I give the girls. But there has been a lot less of that than it has been with girls. And I am more comfortable around guys who are bi or who have other attachments.
Your friend may not be ready for any kind of commitment and it is easier to find guys who interested in a sexual relationship only. And it is easier and more comfortable being around them because they have that in common. It doesn't automatically mean they are gay. Sex with guys right now may just be what fits his needs better for awhile.
I was involved in a relationship with a girl for a total of almost 9 years. 5 of those years I was married to her. For 7 of those years I was completely faithful to her. Before her I was bisexual and practiced it. Before and after her I have only had sex with guys....never had a romantic connection.
The last 2 years of my marriage were pure hell. Mostly due to our trying to have a baby. We couldn't get pregnant. She was taking hormone pills and shots. We had sex on schedule. We did everything the doctors told us to do. The heavy hormones she took made her have tremendous mood swings. She was irritable all the time and a very unhappy person. She blamed me and the whole world for her inability to get pregnant. One day she packed my bags while I was at work and kicked me to the curb.
We divorced in 2009 and I have not wanted to enter into a relationship yet. The 2 girls that I have gotten involved with after my divorce have quickly become attached and I am not ready for that.
Even on here I have had girls that got way too attached in just a short amount of time. One of the girls on here back in November and December when I was working 2 jobs and couldn't get on here much even got mad at me and confronted me about it as if I was supposed to report in my comings and goings. And yes she knew my schedule had changed. One of the first girls I met and chatted with on here quickly had us meeting, one of us moving, us moving in together, getting married, and having kids.
I am not ready for that and I don't know when I will be. And I have been honest with all the girls. It is not like they didn't know that.
I have been more comfortable having sex with guys and being around guys even on here because for one I don't have those romantic feelings but the guys don't either. If they do they get the same honest story that I give the girls. But there has been a lot less of that than it has been with girls. And I am more comfortable around guys who are bi or who have other attachments.
Your friend may not be ready for any kind of commitment and it is easier to find guys who interested in a sexual relationship only. And it is easier and more comfortable being around them because they have that in common. It doesn't automatically mean they are gay. Sex with guys right now may just be what fits his needs better for awhile.
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Quote by HotBttmInBriefs
This was my situation and it may apply to the guy you are TALKING ABOUT.
I was involved in a relationship with a girl for a total of almost 9 years. 5 of those years I was married to her. For 7 of those years I was completely faithful to her. Before her I was bisexual and practiced it. Before and after her I have only had sex with guys....never had a romantic connection.
The last 2 years of my marriage were pure hell. Mostly due to our trying to have a baby. We couldn't get pregnant. She was taking hormone pills and shots. We had sex on schedule. We did everything the doctors told us to do. The heavy hormones she took made her have tremendous mood swings. She was irritable all the time and a very unhappy person. She blamed me and the whole world for her inability to get pregnant. One day she packed my bags while I was at work and kicked me to the curb.
We divorced in 2009 and I have not wanted to enter into a relationship yet. The 2 girls that I have gotten involved with after my divorce have quickly become attached and I am not ready for that.
Even on here I have had girls that got way too attached in just a short amount of time. One of the girls on here back in November and December when I was working 2 jobs and couldn't get on here much even got mad at me and confronted me about it as if I was supposed to report in my comings and goings. And yes she knew my schedule had changed. One of the first girls I met and chatted with on here quickly had us meeting, one of us moving, us moving in together, getting married, and having kids.
I am not ready for that and I don't know when I will be. And I have been honest with all the girls. It is not like they didn't know that.
I have been more comfortable having sex with guys and being around guys even on here because for one I don't have those romantic feelings but the guys don't either. If they do they get the same honest story that I give the girls. But there has been a lot less of that than it has been with girls. And I am more comfortable around guys who are bi or who have other attachments.
Your friend may not be ready for any kind of commitment and it is easier to find guys who interested in a sexual relationship only. And it is easier and more comfortable being around them because they have that in common. It doesn't automatically mean they are gay. Sex with guys right now may just be what fits his needs better for awhile.
Thanks Mike, I think you are probably right..
I've had great sex with women and men both. I've never felt an the emotional attachment with men that I have felt with some women.
Just because he is having fun with the guys doesn't mean he has changed who he is. He is still the same person. He has just found something new that he likes. If he says that he is bisexual , then that is what he is.
I consider myself bisexual only if to let others have a way to know that I like sex with both genders. Otherwise , I am still just a normal guy. Just the same as any other person that uses a label of any kind to relay a like or dislike or a label to describe who they are. But, one label doesn't make a person better or worse than any other.
People are people no matter what label. Don't think that a label will make them so different from or so like you. You would be limiting yourself if you were to think that way.
Just because he is having fun with the guys doesn't mean he has changed who he is. He is still the same person. He has just found something new that he likes. If he says that he is bisexual , then that is what he is.
I consider myself bisexual only if to let others have a way to know that I like sex with both genders. Otherwise , I am still just a normal guy. Just the same as any other person that uses a label of any kind to relay a like or dislike or a label to describe who they are. But, one label doesn't make a person better or worse than any other.
People are people no matter what label. Don't think that a label will make them so different from or so like you. You would be limiting yourself if you were to think that way.
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A correction to my post above.
In the paragraph where it says "before and after I have only had sex with guys" does not mean that my only sex was with guys. It would be better stated that sex with guys was just that -- sex -- with no emotional attachment. I just worded it the wrong way.
In the paragraph where it says "before and after I have only had sex with guys" does not mean that my only sex was with guys. It would be better stated that sex with guys was just that -- sex -- with no emotional attachment. I just worded it the wrong way.
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Quote by megagap
I've had great sex with women and men both. I've never felt an the emotional attachment with men that I have felt with some women.
Just because he is having fun with the guys doesn't mean he has changed who he is. He is still the same person. He has just found something new that he likes. If he says that he is bisexual , then that is what he is.
I consider myself bisexual only if to let others have a way to know that I like sex with both genders. Otherwise , I am still just a normal guy. Just the same as any other person that uses a label of any kind to relay a like or dislike or a label to describe who they are. But, one label doesn't make a person better or worse than any other.
People are people no matter what label. Don't think that a label will make them so different from or so like you. You would be limiting yourself if you were to think that way.
I agree with you there (the bold part).
I know for me after my divorce sex with guys has been almost new to me. For 7 years it was only something that I fantasized about and didn't act on. I didn't with other women too but I had my wife and even though sex was on a schedule and only aimed at getting her pregnant.
So sex with guys since I got divorced has been something new to me again.
So I think that could be part of it for this guy too.
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Quote by insatiable
So one of my male friends that I know from high school he just came out that he's bisexual.. I've always thought that he was different.. He was married before but he admitted that he feels more comfortable around guys than girls. Lately whenever we go out he seems to be with a new" boyfriend" every other week.. I have never seen him with a girl. He even told me that he would never get involved romantically with a guy but the best sex he ever had it was with a guy.. So my question is: Is he actually gay but in denial and he claims to be bisexual ?
Does it really matter? I mean putting a label on it? Your friend is obviously working through a period of turmoil regarding his sexuality. We are all works in progress. So be the best friend that you can be and join him on his journey. If you are his friend, and I believe that you are, you will be his friend no matter what label he has in the end.
Quote by HoldenMcCrank
Does it really matter? I mean putting a label on it? Your friend is obviously working through a period of turmoil regarding his sexuality. We are all works in progress. So be the best friend that you can be and join him on his journey. If you are his friend, and I believe that you are, you will be his friend no matter what label he has in the end.
Well said.
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bi is just gay with a publicist. 
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Gay, but maybe not ready to say it.
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My impression is that 'pigeon-holing' into 'gay' or 'bisexual' isn't useful here. Those categories are simply shorthand for boundaries that may or may not be deeply rooted. From your short description it sounds like your friend's boundaries are shifting around, maybe for the kind of reasons other people here have suggested here. If you fancy dating him, just tell him and see where it goes.
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Whether he is Bi or Gay will make any difference in your friendship?
If I were asked to state an opinion, I would think he will announce one day that he is Gay. But while it is much easier now than in the past we still have not fully accepted Gays. Just give him time he will tell what you need to know when you need to know it.
If I were asked to state an opinion, I would think he will announce one day that he is Gay. But while it is much easier now than in the past we still have not fully accepted Gays. Just give him time he will tell what you need to know when you need to know it.