Let's say that you met a woman and were quickly considering that she might be "the one" that you'd like to marry, settle down with, bring home to mom, and/or have children with.
Are there things in a woman's sexual history that would be a deal-breaker for you... or if not, would there be things that you'd rather not know or have her tell you?
In the realm of fantasy, porn, and imagination, a highly sexed, wildly-adventurous woman is a turn-on.
But what if you found out she'd been involved in more extreme sex experiences than you were used to - for example - gangbangs, bukkakes, double-penetration group sex, still enjoyed having sex with women, was involved in porn or online sex sites for pay as a performer, model or webcam girl, was a stripper at one point, worked in prostitution/escorting or was into maybe into certain fetishes that you weren't interested in.
If you found out early on in the relationship, would any of these factors dissuade you from considering her as a life-partner?
Be honest!
If I loved here, then all else would be secondary. If she felt she needed to feel the touch of another woman from time to time, that would be difficult but whether it could be overcome would depend on the context of what would have to become our relationships. If she felt comfortable enough to make me part of it, then I would be ok. If it was somthing she didn't, well the fact that she didn't more than the desire to feel it itself would be something to worry about.
Things in her past are just that, in the past
I don't believe in the romantic notion of "the one" but I'll play along. I'll even go out on a limb and say, yes, a sordid sexual history might be a deal breaker for me.
I'd love to take a higher moral ground and echo Milik's sentiments but if I'm honest with myself I can't say for sure. Considering my track history with women it's rather implausible that I'd ever meet such a woman though haha.
I'm just old-fashioned and want a monogamous relationship but am willing to experiment within that confinement.
Now, where did I put my walking cane...
Insert typical super smart ass comment courtesy of thepainter here.
If I found out early in the relationship, it would be a deal-breaker. I think tact and taste come into play. I really, really don't want to know what her past is all about, and I would not reveal mine, either. Respect for feelings comes into play. In my opinion, it's the worst time to brag about sexual conquests (if there ever IS a time to do that). I'm all about looking forward and seeing where the relationship is going, and not dwelling on the past deeds with someone else.
Her past is none of my business for the most part although I know the past effects future outcomes.
What is important among other thinjgs is how we bond emotionally and intellectually.
Somethings should not be kept from the other. If a woman has a thing for other woman, that will not change just because she gets involved with you. She will still have that desire/need for another woman. Hypothetically, if she were honest and upfront from the start I believe I could deal with it under certain conditions. If we were emotionally bonded, had potential as a partnership and had a general interest in the well being of the other then I'd be be open to her having a female lover within our relationship. I would have to be friends with her female lover. Sexual participation with them would not be a factor. I am sure there would be much soul searching on my part but once I came to a decision I would be good with it. This is not a trivial situation, it is very complex and this kind or triangle wouldn't work with most people.
I like to connect with the other, so I am not big into fantasy, I like to keep it real. Bluntly, I don't want to pretend anything when I am fucking, or kissing or touching or smiling at you. I want you to be the object of my lust and/or love and I want you to know that you are. I would want to know you are here with me. My idea of fantasy is candles, incense, maybe some music, sexy lingerie for her and light drawstring pants for myself no shirt. So fetishes, except in the mildest case are not my thing.
If she has a past with gangbanging, multiple male partners as a single woman that is her business. If she still desires that than it is a deal breaker.
Honestly speaking, I would find myself affected by such a revelation. How much so would depend on how early in the relationship, what kind of questionable thing they had been involved in, and how much I truly loved this person.
But on that note, you described this person as "The One". That indicates some deep feeling. Perhaps I can say that though it would have on us an effect, it would not alter the final outcome.
But even that, opens a little can of worms. Any situation can play way out of what you expected it to be. Perhaps my initial negative reaction to her sexual past brings up something else, and some other deep wound or insecurity. Another thing surfaces, and another thing. Words are said, and the relationship ends regardless.
Life is generally unpredictable that way.
My own sexual exploits are considered bad, in some contexts. If she can accept me for it, I can definitely accept her for it. She was always the same woman who did these things. Me knowing about it now doesn't change who she is, or how I would feel. Had I truly met this hypothetical "One"
That explains why I can't keep a boyfriend.
That's a case by case scenario as we all have our limits, but sex is sex and commitment is commitment. Everyone has a past and if people are just in it for fun that's one thing, but people (I hope) get married because they want to share an emotional bond with someone. That's what I hope for anyway. So is it a deal breaker? Probably not, but I couldn't say for sure unless I was put in the situation. Sorry it's not more of a definitive answer, but it's honest.
I always keep a white shirt from my partner .... as proof in my photo gallery ....
It's interesting reading all the posts, and in our area, culture plays a big part in that. I know many men who wouldn't let their wives give them blowjobs. An ex colleague at work told me he once met a married friend in a resort with his girlfriend and his wife didn't know. When he asked him why he was cheating on his wife he said his GF does stuff that he wouldn't let his wife do, and that included a blow job......... wierd
I would be fine with a womans sexual past as long as i knew about it before hand. It would be great to have a woman that was that sexually open minded. We could even enjoy some of those thkngs together. but she could not have a double standard and be closed minded after the marrage.
A woman who has a sordid sexual history is a plus and a must with me.
I do believe that some women have a double standard in regards to marriage. They want 'Johnny B Goode' and complain how boring and stagnant their sex lives are together.