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Can a woman's sordid sexual history prevent her from being "the one"?
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Active Ink Slinger
Why should that even be an issue? If you love the person to the point they are the one then the only question for me would be about health. Unless they mean to leave you out of activities then you need to talk.
no,not at all&to me its the opposite as it means she is sexually honest&explores it.gr8 that is too.
My wife has been with far more men then I have women. Actually shes been with more women then I have. She wanted to experience all life had to offer. Truth is so did I. We both have our "sexual skeletons in the closet" so to speak. We have talked, open and honest about everything. When it comes down to it we love each other, nothing else matters.
What I am more interested in is the sordid sexual future we an build together!
Were married, not dead. Both of still want to take life to the limit!
What I am more interested in is the sordid sexual future we an build together!
Were married, not dead. Both of still want to take life to the limit!
The Linebacker
We were mutually sordid so no problem there. Just think how much hot experience she can bring. I mean damn, just how sordid is the average guy? As sordid as possible!
If she's the one go for it!
If she's the one go for it!
Active Ink Slinger
Hell no.
I like a sordid past.
I like a sordid past.
Active Ink Slinger
what a question!!!
so it is all right for a guy to do anything and everything he wants but a woman has to be pure as driven snow??
i thought this went out decades ago????
wow...this question make me think that the sexual revolution..never..happened...
wow
so it is all right for a guy to do anything and everything he wants but a woman has to be pure as driven snow??
i thought this went out decades ago????
wow...this question make me think that the sexual revolution..never..happened...
wow
Quote by blazestcyr
what a question!!!
so it is all right for a guy to do anything and everything he wants but a woman has to be pure as driven snow??
i thought this went out decades ago????
wow...this question make me think that the sexual revolution..never..happened...
wow
I don't see it as that at all. In fact, I think we are talking about "extremes", not what most would consider pretty normal now days. I also think it would apply to women for men as well. It was just asked in the guy's section. ;) I can bet that there are plenty of woman out there that would have some serious issues concerning a man's sexual past as well, if it was out of an acceptable norm. Nor do I see this as being an issue of "pure as the driven show".... it is about things which people may find out of the norm. It wasn't that she had a couple boyfriends and she.. OMG SLEPT WITH THEM!!!! ;)
But this question WAS asked of GUYS. ;) That does not mean it is exclusive to them... just like guys often answer in the Gal's section.
Alpha Blonde
Quote by blazestcyr
what a question!!!
so it is all right for a guy to do anything and everything he wants but a woman has to be pure as driven snow??
i thought this went out decades ago????
wow...this question make me think that the sexual revolution..never..happened...
wow
As someone else mentioned, when I posted this question I was talking about extremes - not a girl that's just racked up a high number of sex partners.
I have a friend who had been an escort for several years and had done some porn. As she was trying to get out of the biz, she met a guy that she wanted to be serious with who didn't know of her past but she was stressed about it because she had fucked and been paid by some of his associated business acquaintances (including some that partook in a drug-fuelled gangbang with her). She had a reputation in many social circles. She was worried that he would judge her for it and might not be interested in a serious relationship with someone with her kind of past. Hell, I was even judged for hanging out with her and being her friend - all from very open minded, supposedly progressive-thinking people as well.
Wax on about sexual revolutions as much as you want. I don't agree with judgement (and never judged the friend I'm speaking of, for example) but then I'm not seriously dating an ex pornstar/male-gigolo whose gangbang vids I can go watch on xnxx. Some people might be put off by it. That's just a reality. Unfortunately I just don't think everyone shrugs off stuff like that when it comes to their own family and relationships. Sexual revolution or not, I think there is quite a ways to go.
Active Ink Slinger
One of the main factors in that specific case is that other people know about it as well. When the other, maybe not as important as the partner but still important people in your life judge her for that then it tends to make it infinitely harder to get over it. Especially when you're not 100% comfortable with it either. And this scenario holds for other kinds of histories as well.
In that aspect most of us are really shallow, men and women alike.
In that aspect most of us are really shallow, men and women alike.
Quote by Dancing_Doll
As someone else mentioned, when I posted this question I was talking about extremes - not a girl that's just racked up a high number of sex partners.
I have a friend who had been an escort for several years and had done some porn. As she was trying to get out of the biz, she met a guy that she wanted to be serious with who didn't know of her past but she was stressed about it because she had fucked and been paid by some of his associated business acquaintances (including some that partook in a drug-fuelled gangbang with her). She had a reputation in many social circles. She was worried that he would judge her for it and might not be interested in a serious relationship with someone with her kind of past. Hell, I was even judged for hanging out with her and being her friend - all from very open minded, supposedly progressive-thinking people as well.
Wax on about sexual revolutions as much as you want. I don't agree with judgement (and never judged the friend I'm speaking of, for example) but then I'm not seriously dating an ex pornstar/male-gigolo whose gangbang vids I can go watch on xnxx. Some people might be put off by it. That's just a reality. Unfortunately I just don't think everyone shrugs off stuff like that when it comes to their own family and relationships. Sexual revolution or not, I think there is quite a ways to go.
Thanks for the clarification. Still wouldn't be a problem if I truly loved her. Back when I was 18 I dated woman who had worked as a prostitute for a period of her life. Her father was a coke head and it was her only way out. She was a beautiful person inside and out. Still not a problem even if she did porn just because she thought it was fun to do. No other reason.
I would like to know if they are still together. I really hope he told his business associates to F-off if they said anything. The were the guys who had to pay.... maybe they just don't now how to truly satisfy a woman.
Evolving Writer
Call me old fashioned but I don't think sexual history is something that should be brought up at all. It doesn't matter if you love someone and if you do you sholdn't be bragging about your past conquests anyway. If you have some sort of std than you step up and say so, but you don't have to go into detail about how you received it just to inflate your own ego.
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Quote by stockingluvr
Call me old fashioned but I don't think sexual history is something that should be brought up at all. It doesn't matter if you love someone and if you do you sholdn't be bragging about your past conquests anyway. If you have some sort of std than you step up and say so, but you don't have to go into detail about how you received it just to inflate your own ego.
Its not about bragging. The situation, clarified by Dancing _doll above, is that in the past her friend had been paid to have sex with men who were now some of her boyfriends business associates. Chances are he would find out.... She was afraid she would lose him and he would not love her anymore.
I misunderstood at first to. Sorry DD! I hope your friend has found the happiness she deserves!
Quote by stockingluvr
Call me old fashioned but I don't think sexual history is something that should be brought up at all. It doesn't matter if you love someone and if you do you sholdn't be bragging about your past conquests anyway. If you have some sort of std than you step up and say so, but you don't have to go into detail about how you received it just to inflate your own ego.
Really??
If someone doesn't want to hear about past sexual stuff it just screams 'jealous type' to me. I love sharing details about past sexual experiences with my physical and/or romantic partner.
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by Dancing_Doll
Let's say that you met a woman and were quickly considering that she might be "the one" that you'd like to marry, settle down with, bring home to mom, and/or have children with.
Are there things in a woman's sexual history that would be a deal-breaker for you... or if not, would there be things that you'd rather not know or have her tell you?
In the realm of fantasy, porn, and imagination, a highly sexed, wildly-adventurous woman is a turn-on.
But what if you found out she'd been involved in more extreme sex experiences than you were used to - for example - gangbangs, bukkakes, double-penetration group sex, still enjoyed having sex with women, was involved in porn or online sex sites for pay as a performer, model or webcam girl, was a stripper at one point, worked in prostitution/escorting or was into maybe into certain fetishes that you weren't interested in.
If you found out early on in the relationship, would any of these factors dissuade you from considering her as a life-partner?
Be honest!
Well yes I think there would be deal breakers. If she was in a bad place with people that only brought out the worst in her and she wasn't willing to cut them out of her life then I would leave her.
As far as sexually. I think there is a line. sex for money would be a deal breaker, I agree the porn idea sounds awesome but not for a woman I would be spending the rest of my life with.
I wouldn't care if she was sexually active mind you. Or was involved in a ton of kinky sex acts. My girl for a in all intence and purposes would be a slut as same as me. and none of her stories of her many partners bother me at all. in fact I fuck her alot while she regals her many stories of sex.
So yes there are and there always will be.
Active Ink Slinger
Ok, great question, and I believe her past would not really be an issue, or deal breaker. If I met a girl that comfortable with her sexuality, its part of what attracts me to her. I was fortunate enough to date a dancer while stationed in Kentucky. She really enjoyed extreme sexual situations, ( public sex, public nudity, etc.) It made her recognizable in the area and we ran into guys she had been with often. It made her thr person I was very much thinking was the one. I wasnt hers, so she went with a bad boy, but such is life.
Active Ink Slinger
Had one tell me about her past and was fine with it. That was until she got drunk and told about a guy who she had sex with and claimed he took advantage of her, don't misunderstand me here I know it happens she slept with me after 2 dates and at last count being 5 years younger had have 30 lovers . I'd been married for almost 4 years and she was 12 ahead of me. I guess if she had'nt lied so much we could have had a better relationship.
Active Ink Slinger
it would not be a deal breaker but it would be something to think about. If she is the "One" then the only things I need to know is can you be satified with one man and do you have any emotional scares from your previous experiences. If all is good then her past is her past.
Active Ink Slinger
For her to be honest with me would seal the deal. If I found out later in the relationship that she was not honest and open with me, I would never trust her again. I am one who really appreciates when a woman can be open about her past and will respect her very much for that. To lie about something that might or might not later be found out is taking a big chance with me.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by stockingluvr
Call me old fashioned but I don't think sexual history is something that should be brought up at all. It doesn't matter if you love someone and if you do you sholdn't be bragging about your past conquests anyway. If you have some sort of std than you step up and say so, but you don't have to go into detail about how you received it just to inflate your own ego.
The man you are sleeping with right now had sex with your mom, sister or brother. Still think it should'nt be brought up? Just saying....
Cheeky Chick
I don't have a big past history with men but I have been with a man who has been with his share fair of women and I didn't hold it against him. I'd expect the same thing in return from any man I dated. If I had a wider history to go off of. I guess it all depends on the person what they think is a "Sorted" history.
Active Ink Slinger
My first instinct would be, who cares where someones been, it only matters where they are going.
When i think on it though, i dont think i could ever get involved with someone who was, at that time, in the industry/prostitute/cam girl etc.
Jealousy is a petty emotion, but one most of us are prone to. Most people who say "I dont get jealous." really mean "I can control my jealousy." And i think the people who could sustain a relationship in that situation are a special minority. So i'd have to say deal breaker.
If its her past, then it has nothing to do with our future, but if its in her present, then i dont think i could be.
When i think on it though, i dont think i could ever get involved with someone who was, at that time, in the industry/prostitute/cam girl etc.
Jealousy is a petty emotion, but one most of us are prone to. Most people who say "I dont get jealous." really mean "I can control my jealousy." And i think the people who could sustain a relationship in that situation are a special minority. So i'd have to say deal breaker.
If its her past, then it has nothing to do with our future, but if its in her present, then i dont think i could be.
Advanced Wordsmith
I love sluts love dirty talking aggesive womam that know what they want and aren't afraid to tell you what they want if a girl was to shy and cant talk about sex that would be a turnoff
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by Guest
What is a female cross-dresser? I wear hubby's shirts and sweaters all the time! Some guys (including hubby) think it's sexy when I wear one of his dress shirts. If I met you at the front door wearing nothing but one your dress shirts and a pair of heels would you break up with me?
[img][/img]
I was wondering the same thing ive seen some hardcore lezzys that you could maybe call a crossdresser but there not the kind of woman that would have a relationship with a guy anyway
It's a very difficult question to answer, especially given the circumstances. And to me it does raise a couple of questions. Was she in a bad spot when all this happened, like prostitution/porn being the only way to actually get by? To me that is something I could live with, knowing that we humans are survivalist and we're willing to do a lot to get through, even giving up our bodies.
I'm not gonna lie and say I'm judgemental free(even if I try to be). If this is something that's brought up on the first date then of course it will colour my vision of her and it's more prone to be in the back of my head and put my guard up. If it's after a few months and we actually have a good connection I'm probably more capable of getting past it, but this is given that she at some point comes clean and tells me. I know I would have flipped out if we'd been in a relationship for so long that it's really serious and I some day find out on my own by browsing porn or hearing it from someone that you should check redtube and you'll see your girlfriend. I am a firm believer in that trust is a necessity to make a relationship work, and if there is none there can be no relationship, so keeping stuff like that from me makes me wonder what else she keeps from me and does she really trust me at all. To me that would be the biggest issue. After all, if she doesn't trust me 100% then she can't be the one...
I'm not gonna lie and say I'm judgemental free(even if I try to be). If this is something that's brought up on the first date then of course it will colour my vision of her and it's more prone to be in the back of my head and put my guard up. If it's after a few months and we actually have a good connection I'm probably more capable of getting past it, but this is given that she at some point comes clean and tells me. I know I would have flipped out if we'd been in a relationship for so long that it's really serious and I some day find out on my own by browsing porn or hearing it from someone that you should check redtube and you'll see your girlfriend. I am a firm believer in that trust is a necessity to make a relationship work, and if there is none there can be no relationship, so keeping stuff like that from me makes me wonder what else she keeps from me and does she really trust me at all. To me that would be the biggest issue. After all, if she doesn't trust me 100% then she can't be the one...
Active Ink Slinger
For me this is a difficult one. I just got out of a relationship where she had fucked her neighbor the second she got to college. Was awkward because he wouldn't stop talking to her and we'd see him when we were back at her house...so it does make a difference :/ sorry