OK, as my pregnancy has progressed, I've had to put up with losing my figure, food issues, and all sorts of things but now, I have the "Over Protective Husband" to deal with. I was changing a light bulb in the kitchen and he freaked out, "You could fall and hurt yourself and the baby!" Yes, I suppose I could fall off of the one foot stool I was standing on and reaching up to change it, but I'd most likely just land gently on my feet. He now insists on carrying the laundry basket for me because it's "too heavy" (he does not, however, actually DO the laundry, I'm apparently capable of that), but I can't carry that basket that weighs, oh, 10 pounds or so. Sure, having him carry in all the groceries is nice, but I'm pregnant, not an invalid!!!!
Did you guys go to insane lengths when your ladies were carrying your children?
I'm taking lots of pictures of him so I can tell our daughter what he was like after I kill him for driving me crazy!
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx
He's over protective. Simple way to cure his problem is to slip down to the floor, hold your stomach, and cry, "Help!!! I've fallen and I can't get up!!!" He'll see you're not an invalid. If he makes an issue of it, tell him he can refrain from making you pregnant in the future. I can't wait until the baby is born to see what he does the first time she falls down and breaks out crying. Good Luck!!!
I don't really agree with that. I carried things for my wife for all 3 children (and did laundry toward the end.... we had to get all new whites). Bending and lifting is dangerous enough if you don't do it right even when you aren't pregnant. As for falling off a stool, it's a very real concern with real consequences if it should happen. It sounds to me like you're an independent woman who likes doing things for herself and getting it done. You should maybe enjoy the treatment and tell him what needs done until the baby is born (and after!). I'm not saying don't do anything, just be smart about it. The most important from what my wife tells me is to be in as good shape as you can be for that delivery date. If you aren't walking or doing some kind of light exercise, START! She didn't for the first and it took her twice as long to recover from delivery.
I agree with everything En just said. Consider it respect and care for your welfare. Be glad you have a man who loves you and is really looking forward to having a baby. So what if he goes a little bit overboard in your eyes? These are special circumstances.
i agree with both. i understand that your husbadn telling u not to do stuff is annoying. i like doing things for myself as well but be thankful cuz in the future he'll be too busy drinking beers and watchign food ball with his friends to help do things around the house. good luck and tell us how the baby is when she's born.
Girl, just be glad he's there. Whole lotta women out there with no daddy for their baby.
Enjoy the attention he is giving you and the time you have alone together.
Both of my wife's pregancies brought us much closer together. My wife is a very self-sufficient person, so I didn't obsess on protecting her while in a "delicate condition" but I did try to be as helpful as she needed to be. During her second pregnancy we had some of the best sex of our lives, because she was sooo horny.
Both of our sons were born at home with midwives, and preparing for that really brought us together.
I was never over-protective as that, though I was concerned about my wife's overall well-being, especially as her pregnancy progressed. Now, however, I'm more concerned for my daughter than anything. Kids are the best.
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
I have been doing that to a lesser degree with my gf. she due here in like 2 weeks. yes i will admit i have been a little overprotective, but only in the last 2 months when it has become difficult for her to do things. i am also very protective of my twin sons, and her daughter as well. i know exactly what it will be like when the baby is born. It will get worse lol. the drill sgt in me coming out again. LOL. Enjoy it Castle it wont last forever.
Bouncing is what Tiggers do best!!!!! So can i make you bounce?
CQ, I feel I must echo the sentiments of most people who have posted about this subject/question. Your husband does NOT see you as an invalid, rather, he sees you as the mother of your (collectively) children and he only wants to protect you. (BTW, you can thank hundreds of thousands of years of evolution and our hunter/gatherer ancestors for that.) You should also be at least a little bit thankful. I've heard stories of husbands who could hardly be bothered to show any kind of protective tenancies during their wife's pregnancy or even during the delivery (IF the SOB even bothered to show up for that.) His hovering around you or being there in an instant whenever he hears you move may be a bit annoying but, afterall, he IS showing you LOVE and concern about you and your well-being.
If you can do it go for it, over protective. But he obviously loves you.
Milk it for all it's worth because it won't last forever. You are lucky!
Bunny12
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Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off! Late to the thread, but I think you have the right take on it. Husbands may not be experiencing the same physical changes, but they're going through a wringer of their own - most of a pregnancy is completely out of the father's control, so there's a certain amount of anxiety there. Because he can't do anything to help with that part, he has to do something.
The only two words I have to add, however are "Pregnancy Massage". If CastleKing has not learned and begun practicing this on you yet, tell him to stop lifeguarding the kitchen stool and get to the library. Neither of you will be sorry.
I'd quit the moaning, and enjoy it, coz if you ever divorce you be thinking of all the stuff like you jsut mentioned that you'd be missing, and you'll be kicking yourself.
I would have loved my ex husband to have been protective about me, but he couldn't have cared less.
Sorry to be having a bit of a rant Queeny, me not had a good start to a Monday.
I'm having a man monday grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr sorry queeny.
Just love him, and let him do it, men like to feel wanted and needed.
It's actually improved, and I figured out that all of those little nagging jobs I could never get him to do before? Threaten to do them myself and he RUNS to get them done! He missed 15 minutes of the third quarter yesterday finishing raking the yard. I love the guy!
Interesting point Monocle, and the massage sounds like it'll be enjoyable!
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx
I was like that with our first child.
After the novelty wore off, we're now on our second pregnancy, and I just let her get on with it. It's a natural male instinct to be protective. Don't give him a hard time over it.
I've got four kids. Plus I came from a big family myself. Being the oldest, I've been around pregnant women, infants and children of all sizes for all of my life. Oh, and my mother used to be VERY active in La Leche League, an international Women's and Babies organization, big on nutrition and breast feeding. Consequently, I'd seen more tits by 5 than most guys see in a lifetime.
But, that said, yeah, the first kid is the 'experiment' child. After a few, things become sort of more routine. If you haven't yet, have your husband read What to Expect When You're Expecting and What to Expect the First Year. I forget the authors, but they're INVALUABLE!!
Oh, BTW, have you progressed into the "horny-mester" yet?
you hate him now,but if someday day your daughter should be pregnant and you see her husband doing the same thing,i bet you say what a nice man he is,so save some time and be happy u have a man who Loves u that much.
I myself did the same thing but i also didnt argue with my childs mom when she continuously told me to stop. I knew it would be in my best interest not to piss her off lol.
My wife is pretty self-sufficient so I have learned to just stand back and wait until I'm asked. I certainly did more when she was pregnant and when Seeker, Jr. was small than I did before or recently, but it was generally at her request, not me stepping in to "protect" her.
My wife was pretty independent, she had to be as married to a soldier I was frequently away and was away for most of her pregnancy with our first child. When she was carrying our second child we moved to Italy and she was helping carry washing machines and the likes into our new home. Oh and I went away for six months as soon as our daughter (child no 2) was born leaving her in a different country on her without any family support. Got to love the British Army.
There is an evolutionary benefit to this trait. Your husband's parent hormones are kicking in. It is natural and a good thing. You'd need to be worried if he didn't change. Science has shown recently that men, hormonally, during a pregnancy and following a birth experience almost as many hormonal changes as women. His protectionist attitude is healthy.
I was somewhat protective, but nothing like that.