A question i guess more for the women on the site,
How can a wife go and bed another man and then claim while crying and hugging you that she loves you and only you , does not whant to loose you ect,??
Is she lying to you, herself or to both?
As for me i left her immediatly .
Denis
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Women and Infidelity ??
Matriarch
Welcome to the site Dennis. 
I'm sorry to hear of your predicament, and that things didn't work out.
I don't know the answer - maybe she does love you, but felt something was lacking in the relationship, either psychologically, emotionally or physically.
How long have you been separated now? Any children involved?
I'm sorry to hear of your predicament, and that things didn't work out.
I don't know the answer - maybe she does love you, but felt something was lacking in the relationship, either psychologically, emotionally or physically.
How long have you been separated now? Any children involved?
Fortunatly, there was no children.
She committed suicide over loosing me and the marriage.
I am trying to find the courage to post the storie here on the site.
Hopefully , it may help someone else to handle such a situation better . also it may help my conscience .
Thanks for the answer
Denis
She committed suicide over loosing me and the marriage.
I am trying to find the courage to post the storie here on the site.
Hopefully , it may help someone else to handle such a situation better . also it may help my conscience .
Thanks for the answer
Denis
Hello Dennis,
Sorry about what happened. A lot of people aren't aware that sex is a physical activity and love is an emotional activity. It's rare for two people's sexual needs to be matched when their emotional feelings are - it's this mismatch that leads to a lot of issues within any relationship.
Discussing relationship in general is usually fairly easy, but when you get to a specific case, it's like trying to make a bomb while suffering from an extreme case of the shakes - it can be done, but it's likely to blow up in your face unless you're very. very careful.
Sorry about what happened. A lot of people aren't aware that sex is a physical activity and love is an emotional activity. It's rare for two people's sexual needs to be matched when their emotional feelings are - it's this mismatch that leads to a lot of issues within any relationship.
Discussing relationship in general is usually fairly easy, but when you get to a specific case, it's like trying to make a bomb while suffering from an extreme case of the shakes - it can be done, but it's likely to blow up in your face unless you're very. very careful.
Dennis, I'm not a 'gal' but felt a need to comment here on your question.
First of all, I'm sorry to hear of what happened in you life. Sometimes good people do bad things or make mistakes. Sometimes they don't understand why they do or did them in the first place. Without knowing you or your late ex-wife I can't really say much other than I wonder if she was suffering some kind of depression?
Depression can cause people to do things that they normally wouldn't do, and the fact that she committed suicide makes me wonder if she was depressed before or after her cheating episode?
Suicide is only painless to the one committing the act. To everyone else it's the most painful thing that many will ever experience.
First of all, I'm sorry to hear of what happened in you life. Sometimes good people do bad things or make mistakes. Sometimes they don't understand why they do or did them in the first place. Without knowing you or your late ex-wife I can't really say much other than I wonder if she was suffering some kind of depression?
Depression can cause people to do things that they normally wouldn't do, and the fact that she committed suicide makes me wonder if she was depressed before or after her cheating episode?
Suicide is only painless to the one committing the act. To everyone else it's the most painful thing that many will ever experience.
I finally put the whole mess in writing with microsoft word. (Rough draft) I still have to put it in redeable form and correct the spelling . English is not my firs language. It was not easy, to write it still hurts after 2 years.
I am not ,i realise now, lily white in this mess. I handled it like (le dernier des idiots ) as we say here
I will post it sometime this week ,it is long , if needed there will be 2 installements if it is feasible .
I do not know if she was depressed Curious but the way i handle it sure sent her over the hedge if she was not before
I am not ,i realise now, lily white in this mess. I handled it like (le dernier des idiots ) as we say here
I will post it sometime this week ,it is long , if needed there will be 2 installements if it is feasible .
I do not know if she was depressed Curious but the way i handle it sure sent her over the hedge if she was not before
Active Ink Slinger
I am sorry that it turned out that way for you Dennis. However, you have to realize that her committing suicide was not your fault. You probably feel that way for rejecting her after she cheated on you. She probably did love you but she was obviously depressed enough to take her own life. She had issues that were beyond your control. You seem to blame yourself for her suicide and you shouldn't. As curious said
"Suicide is only painless to the one committing the act. To everyone else it's the most painful thing that many will ever experience." Suicide is only the fault of the individual committing the act and nobody should feel guilt over it.
"Suicide is only painless to the one committing the act. To everyone else it's the most painful thing that many will ever experience." Suicide is only the fault of the individual committing the act and nobody should feel guilt over it.
Active Ink Slinger
I will make no comment here Dennis, but will read your story(s) - I may come back to you privately.
Active Ink Slinger
Women are complex and exotic. Women can multi-task as where men focus on one item at a time. I believe that a woman can sleep around and still love someone else. Look at men who cheat, most love their wife and or girlfriend. It's about the SEX and not love. Yes with sex their is love and emotion, but take college kids for instance. They sleep around and have free sex because it's fun and it feels good. I know this will not help your situation, but I do understand. I have been there before and it's hard to deal with. I would have to say that the "old fashioned" life style may not work for everyone. No one wants to hear that someone they love is going out and having sex with someone else. Good luck myfriend and Godspeed.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Dennis
A question i guess more for the women on the site,
How can a wife go and bed another man and then claim while crying and hugging you that she loves you and only you , does not whant to loose you ect,??
Is she lying to you, herself or to both?
As for me i left her immediatly .
Denis
If your stories true, I know your hurting and feel for you. However, love and sex, and vice-versa, don't go hand in hand, you can always have one without the other.
Many people are married and have sex but don't love one another. It also follows that you can have sex with someone other than your spouse and still love your spouse.
Men . . . I think mainly men, see hookers all the time yet love their wife and would die for them. The bible says (Paraphrased) there's no greater love then to die for someone else.
Human nature being what it is, she could have been telling the truth.
The thing is people don't often think of the consequences of their actions. And often they are just playing around and let things go to far. There's also people that don't think they will get caught. Needless to say prisons are full of these type people.
Quote by LNCorbinQuote by Dennis
A question i guess more for the women on the site,
How can a wife go and bed another man and then claim while crying and hugging you that she loves you and only you , does not whant to loose you ect,??
Is she lying to you, herself or to both?
As for me i left her immediatly .
Denis
If your stories true, I know your hurting and feel for you. However, love and sex, and vice-versa, don't go hand in hand, you can always have one without the other.
Many people are married and have sex but don't love one another. It also follows that you can have sex with someone other than your spouse and still love your spouse.
Men . . . I think mainly men, see hookers all the time yet love their wife and would die for them. The bible says (Paraphrased) there's no greater love then to die for someone else.
Human nature being what it is, she could have been telling the truth.
The thing is people don't often think of the consequences of their actions. And often they are just playing around and let things go to far. There's also people that don't think they will get caught. Needless to say prisons are full of these type people.
I understand the doubt, i still think sometimes it was a bad dream. I am not sure i would believe someone telling me the same thing .
There are things i found out after the fact from one of her girl friend who use to go with her on their girls nights out , that helped me understand a little better her reason for cheating.
But the parts of her night with 2 guys that i left out and the things they done i do not understand at all.
The only places i have seen thing like that ,while trying to understand it , was on BDSM sites .
I find that writing about it so far, has helped me, it seems . I don't know if i will find the courage to really write all about that night . I am not sure any one would believe it , i know i would have doubts if someone told me such a story .
Thanks for your support
Denis
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Quote by Dennis
I understand the doubt, i still think sometimes it was a bad dream. I am not sure i would believe someone telling me the same thing .
There are things i found out after the fact from one of her girl friend who use to go with her on their girls nights out , that helped me understand a little better her reason for cheating.
But the parts of her night with 2 guys that i left out and the things they done i do not understand at all.
The only places i have seen thing like that ,while trying to understand it , was on BDSM sites .
I find that writing about it so far, has helped me, it seems . I don't know if i will find the courage to really write all about that night . I am not sure any one would believe it , i know i would have doubts if someone told me such a story .
Thanks for your support
Denis
This being the Internet there will always be some doubt about a stranger's story. This being a story site it seems to me you would naturally get a more believable story teller too. That said, my policy is to go along with what someone says about their life unless it's really outrageous. After all it's no skin off my nose.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by DennisQuote by LNCorbinQuote by Dennis
A question i guess more for the women on the site,
How can a wife go and bed another man and then claim while crying and hugging you that she loves you and only you , does not whant to loose you ect,??
Is she lying to you, herself or to both?
As for me i left her immediatly .
Denis
If your stories true, I know your hurting and feel for you. However, love and sex, and vice-versa, don't go hand in hand, you can always have one without the other.
Many people are married and have sex but don't love one another. It also follows that you can have sex with someone other than your spouse and still love your spouse.
Men . . . I think mainly men, see hookers all the time yet love their wife and would die for them. The bible says (Paraphrased) there's no greater love then to die for someone else.
Human nature being what it is, she could have been telling the truth.
The thing is people don't often think of the consequences of their actions. And often they are just playing around and let things go to far. There's also people that don't think they will get caught. Needless to say prisons are full of these type people.
I understand the doubt, i still think sometimes it was a bad dream. I am not sure i would believe someone telling me the same thing .
There are things i found out after the fact from one of her girl friend who use to go with her on their girls nights out , that helped me understand a little better her reason for cheating.
But the parts of her night with 2 guys that i left out and the things they done i do not understand at all.
The only places i have seen thing like that ,while trying to understand it , was on BDSM sites .
I find that writing about it so far, has helped me, it seems . I don't know if i will find the courage to really write all about that night . I am not sure any one would believe it , i know i would have doubts if someone told me such a story .
Thanks for your support
Denis
Active Ink Slinger
Sorry, I posted that by mistake....
Active Ink Slinger
Men . . . I think mainly men, see hookers all the time
Maybe your men seek this all the time LN but not all men. I personally have never had a man go to a hooker over me. Reach deep inside your bible and find a reason for it.
Maybe your men seek this all the time LN but not all men. I personally have never had a man go to a hooker over me. Reach deep inside your bible and find a reason for it.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by fystee
Men . . . I think mainly men, see hookers all the time
Maybe your men seek this all the time LN but not all men. I personally have never had a man go to a hooker over me. Reach deep inside your bible and find a reason for it.
What are you talking about?
Personally I don't know of anyone that go's to hookers. I was giving information to make a point.
What's your point?
Active Ink Slinger
My point is that you stated that all men go to hookers at some point. I don't think that is true.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by fystee
My point is that you stated that all men go to hookers at some point. I don't think that is true.
Where did I say, "All men?" As you know the word "men" is plural. It can cover all men or as small a number as two.
You can never paint either sex with such all encompassing colors as to say they all do something like 'go to hookers.' That's why I find it hard to believe you read that into my post.
Have I said something in one of my posts that has caused you to dislike me?
I believe that LN meant that men who go to hookers, most or all of them that may be married or in a serious relationship, don't love hookers, but they do love their significant others. As such, there is a separation of love and sex there. Quite a few men that actually go to hookers are married and they go to hookers for different reasons.
Some go for what they may not be able to get or ask for from their wives/girlfriends such as anal sex, blow job to completion, or other kink that they couldn't ask for from their SO. Some go for reasons that have nothing to do with the SO but instead to fill a need that can't be filled by the SO, perhaps the SO not being there, or having been elsewhere for a long time... whatever reason used I'm sure it's in their heads the SO will not find out about their having gone to a hooker for sex.
Not all men go to hookers. Matter of fact very few will do so. Most have a fear of disease that could be caught and then having to explain where it came from would spell the end of their relationships with their SO's.
Of course, I have thought about going to a hooker. Matter of fact I've thought about it a lot since moving to where such availability is quite readily there. I just am too damn cheap to want to lay out the bucks required for such action. At least for now anyway. heh.
Some go for what they may not be able to get or ask for from their wives/girlfriends such as anal sex, blow job to completion, or other kink that they couldn't ask for from their SO. Some go for reasons that have nothing to do with the SO but instead to fill a need that can't be filled by the SO, perhaps the SO not being there, or having been elsewhere for a long time... whatever reason used I'm sure it's in their heads the SO will not find out about their having gone to a hooker for sex.
Not all men go to hookers. Matter of fact very few will do so. Most have a fear of disease that could be caught and then having to explain where it came from would spell the end of their relationships with their SO's.
Of course, I have thought about going to a hooker. Matter of fact I've thought about it a lot since moving to where such availability is quite readily there. I just am too damn cheap to want to lay out the bucks required for such action. At least for now anyway. heh.
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Quote by LNCorbin
Men . . . I think mainly men, see hookers all the time
I don't dislike you...I don't even know you. We could be friends though. You said that men seek hookers all of the time. I am sure that they do. However, I have never had a boyfriend of mine turn to a street walker over me.BiU0xRiWQIhOIbeS
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by fystee
However, I have never had a boyfriend of mine turn to a street walker over me.CopwUYaOYXbfv6TB
You still don't understand. When I was talking about men going to hookers I meant, hook·er1 (h‹k“…r) n. Nautical. 1. A single-masted fishing smack used off the coast of Ireland.
That's why I said mainly men.
Of course I'm kidding. As for you never having a boyfriend go to a hooker over you, I believe you, but seriously, how would you know?
I couldn't swear to it that any of my boyfriends have never used the services of a hooker . . . of either type.
Like I said before I don't know of anyone that has gone to a hooker. That's not something a guy would tell me.
Of course if your boyfriend is Curious2c, and too cheap. (his words)
That last was a joke.
Quote by LNCorbinQuote by fystee
However, I have never had a boyfriend of mine turn to a street walker over me.0FIXlnC8IDbMi98a
You still don't understand. When I was talking about men going to hookers I meant, hook·er1 (h‹k“…r) n. Nautical. 1. A single-masted fishing smack used off the coast of Ireland.
That's why I said mainly men.
Of course I'm kidding. As for you never having a boyfriend go to a hooker over you, I believe you, but seriously, how would you know?
I couldn't swear to it that any of my boyfriends have never used the services of a hooker . . . of either type.
Like I said before I don't know of anyone that has gone to a hooker. That's not something a guy would tell me.
Of course if your boyfriend is Curious2c, and too cheap. (his words)
That last was a joke.
Somehow I seem to have shot myself in the foot now. *shakes head*
I will admit to going to a hooker once .
Many years ago when i first go to the big city as it were. I was not rich and she was far from a high class Dame of the nights .
It was a matter of pay your money , but on a condom , she spreads her legs and you empty yous sac
It was not very satisfying , i never repeated the experience after that.
Denis
.
Many years ago when i first go to the big city as it were. I was not rich and she was far from a high class Dame of the nights .
It was a matter of pay your money , but on a condom , she spreads her legs and you empty yous sac
It was not very satisfying , i never repeated the experience after that.
Denis
.
Matriarch
Nice story Dennis 
lol @ C2c. The people round here have memories like elephants.
lol @ C2c. The people round here have memories like elephants.
Active Ink Slinger
Somehow I shot myself in the foot too....lol. Curious is my boyfriend? 
Hey there baby! Nice to meet you!
Hey there baby! Nice to meet you!
Quote by fystee
Somehow I shot myself in the foot too....lol. Curious is my boyfriend?
Hey there baby! Nice to meet you!
Hey... how's things? It's been a long time since I last had a girlfriend... what exactly does one do with a girlfriend now days anyway?
I have some ideas from when I used to date frequently... but I don't know if some of them are possible now. (for me that is. heh heh heh.)
Active Ink Slinger
It's been a little while since I have had a boyfriend. I guess dinner and a movie is a good start
I am sure some of your ideas are still useful...lol!
I am sure some of your ideas are still useful...lol!