Ok ladies here is a a good question.
for years i was the major money maker in the house. my wife never liked me keeping long hours at work and never supported me in corporate america. several years ago i went out on my own and am doing well. she had an opportunity about two years ago to move up in her company. i told her to do it and have supported her in each step she took. i took over other responsibilities in the house, with the kids, ect. she leaves at 6 am and comes home after 8pm. sometimes she comes home at 11 or 12. i never complain, am always supporting, wait up for her and have dinner for her.
over the last year she has not wanted sex. i asked her and she says she is stressed, tired, too much on her mind. she asks us to go away together i set something up and she can not go...
she tells people i fully support her at work and she never supported me when i was in corporate america. she does not want to talk about work, talk about why she worked so late, or be together (sex)
17 years together
i am wondering if it is over?
should i just move on?
am i being selfish
It's time to sit down for a heart to heart. Then you'll know the answer to that question.
thanks for the input
i did sit down and open up. expressed my concerns, expressed my expectations, how this situation is making me feel and what my fears are
her response was, i am reading too much into it and that everything is ok. she also said i should not have expectations of what our relationship was and that it has moved into another level. her work is what is important now and that i need to understand it and respect it. she also stated that spending time, sex, or talking was her decision and she would talk when she wanted too, spend time when and with whom she wanted too, and would let me know when she wanted to have sex!!!!
Wow dude, that doesn't sound good. I'm not a Gal, but that sounds like she put the kaputz on things.
Is it really a relationship if it is all on her terms. Do you still love her. I pressume you still do. There is something not quite right with her prickleness with you. Is there something that you may have done in the past that she has not forgiven you for. Because that could ne a reason why she is acting strange to you.
Thanks again for the input
I was thinking that it was something i did, but i can not think of anything. i did not miss any occations, i do not yell or argue, not sleeping with anyone.
i was thinking it was stress on her end and this is how she deals with it.
i did talk to another friend of mine (a women) she thought two things
1. I am being too nice and it is making her feel that she is not needed as much on the home front
2. she is having an affair
i know women can last a much longer time without sex than a guy, but a year???
After being with a wife that wanted to control, I have to say something. I'm going to go with number 2. You did the right thing in sitting down and talking to her, asking her what is going on. She didn't like that, so she's not wanting to discuss it. You hit too close to home, so she put her shield up. She feels she holds the cards now. If you two break up, so what; she has something else going on that she is enjoying right now. If you find out something is going on behind your back, she STILL has the other guy/gal. Something is going on and I don't like it. I'm sorry you're in that spot, but now is the time to think about yourself (YOUR needs), since she doesn't anymore. Look at your own best interests at this point. The passion is gone.
I agree completely with Rocco on this ... and I too am sad that anyone is put in this position - a position to question 17 years together and how much / little support goes from either side. "Something is going on and I don't like it."
As a woman, I think this:
She is selfish, and has been from the get go - but you allowed her that luxury - so you can't change that now.
So now, what do you do? And, how much talking can be done?? And when do you get to feel intimate with the one you love??
btw - I couldn't last a MONTH without sex let alone a YEAR!!
As a woman, I believe in my heart - what does yours tell you? Do you believe in what your heart is telling you?
... and you need to do what will make YOU feel best - be the best authentic person you could ever be, without regrets later in life.
Be proud to have you children look at your later in life, and say ... what a great guy.
good luck, hunnie
Van
xo
