Most my friends think I am an Attention Slut and so I may see this category differently than many women.
We all know when a person is giving us more attention than the situation requires. I am not offended in the least and may even encourage it.
I know some women find such attention not only inappropriate but a cause for fear and if you are constructed in that manner I really do understand.
That is just not me and I do not expect it will ever be me.
"insensitive prick!" – Danielle Algo
Isn't a big part of the problem that many 'admirers' expect a response? True admiration does not of course.
Like what if a guy came up to you and said something in the line of "I think you look smoking hot" and went on with his business, not expecting a response. Would that be OK? In a certain context perhaps?
=== Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER ===
Ladies, there's been some well-publicized controversy lately about so-called "cat calls" from strangers. What's your opinion?
1. How do you feel about cat calls and other shouted or whistled "praise" and gestures from men you don't know?
It is frighting because it usually happens from guys who are in a group, and men in a group are dangerous especially if they are drinking. To be out running and have a car full of guys, or even one guy shout or catcall is scary, and to be followed by a group of men and hearing them behind me making compliments or rude remarks about my body or my ass infuriates me because it makes me feel like I am only a piece of meat on display.
2. How do you feel about cat calls and other shouted or whistled "praise" and gestures from women you don't know? (perhaps given as a joke or sincerely from lesbian or bisexual women)
Women aren't as scary as men.
3. How do you feel about quieter but still public forms of expressed "admiration" from men you don't know, such as unsolicited requests for attention, dates, phone numbers, etc.?
Someone saying things like, 'You look good today,' is fine. Following me around is not. Sending me flowers or gifts is scary too. I don't like unsolicited attention.
4. How do you feel about quieter but still public forms of expressed "admiration" from women you don't know, such as unsolicited requests for attention, dates, phone numbers, etc.? (perhaps given as a joke or sincerely from lesbian or bisexual women)
Pretty much the same. Women aren't as scary as men though, even in groups.
5. Have you ever cat called, shouted at or whistled at men or other women you didn't know?
No.
6. Have you ever given quieter, public forms of expressed "admiration" toward men or other women you didn't know?
Not directly. I've never walked up to a man I don't know and told them that they look great, although I have given compliments to women I don't know and smiled at men I thought looked good.
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One of the concepts I've been hoping to get at in this thread is the idea of an "unwanted sexual advance," which bridges both street harassment and workplace harassment.
The problem seems to occur wherever there are clubs and bars, college campuses, chat rooms--wherever people meet. To me, this broadens the issue out beyond construction site wolf-whistling.
For many, the unwanted sexual advance seems to be rooted in a breach of etiquette in which the person making the advance has failed to see or has ignored a social signal that an advance is not welcome. Or perhaps they have mistook a "stop" sign for a "go" signal.
I wondered if anyone is willing to attempt to articulate what these stop and go signals look like and how they differ from each other?
Perhaps people who commit this faux pas are unable to differentiate between the different social signals? Are they lacking training or social instincts?
Is this problem exclusive to straight men?
Or perhaps they lack the motivation to differentiate and respond appropriately, being somewhat blinded by the objective of the sexual advance or by their own ego?
Or is this behavior even an unwanted sexual advance in the first place? Are these individuals just posing and showing off for each other with no real attempt to give attention or show admiration to women?
John Galt, most likely you received positive responses from more sexually liberal woman who are confident in there sexuality and have little fear of strange men. Like me and a couple of others who commented in a more positive way.
Thank you for expressing your opinion, sprite! I identify with your self-deprecating nature, although I wish more self-confidence for us both!
1. How do you feel about cat calls and other shouted or whistled "praise" and gestures from men you don't know?
They are extremely annoying.
2. How do you feel about cat calls and other shouted or whistled "praise" and gestures from women you don't know? (perhaps given as a joke or sincerely from lesbian or bisexual women)
See above.
3. How do you feel about quieter but still public forms of expressed "admiration" from men you don't know, such as unsolicited requests for attention, dates, phone numbers, etc.?
I'm okay with this until they respect the first "no". If I have to repeat it, I know I'm dealing with an idiot.
4. How do you feel about quieter but still public forms of expressed "admiration" from women you don't know, such as unsolicited requests for attention, dates, phone numbers, etc.? (perhaps given as a joke or sincerely from lesbian or bisexual women)
Same.
5. Have you ever cat called, shouted at or whistled at men or other women you didn't know?
No.
6. Have you ever given quieter, public forms of expressed "admiration" toward men or other women you didn't know?
Yes, once, when I was drunk. I felt really bad about it in the morning.
. Though since I would have been too shy to ask, I guess it wouldn't have mattered.
