If you haven't been able to, I'd suggest a vibrator as the easiest way to understand what your body needs to get to orgasm (or even how it feels to have one). It will probably become easier to reach orgasm once you actually know what it feels like.
You can get a cheap but very effective clit-stimulator like "The Pocket Rocket" for about $15 (you can find them online). Playing with clit stimulation will probably be the fastest route to achieving climax. Do not get a dildo... it's not going to do enough for you.
And obviously you'll need some sort of mental stimulation as well, so have some porn or sexy stories on hand to get you in the mood.
Dancing doll gave great advice! Try vibrating panties as well! They are a huge turn on because you can give the remote to your partner and have them suprise you with random pleasures!
Also the bullit vibe is really good clitoral stimulation
ok ...... back to the topic .... now that the boys have finished arguing ....
I concur with Dancing_Doll .... the clit is the easiest to play with and a bullet is a great idea. For many women, the reason why they don't orgasm is not physical but mental ..... find something (lit/porn/cyberchat) that gets the mind stimulated and makes you wet .... then play!
Practise makes ..... orgasms easier.
I so agree that the female orgasm really does start from mindset. Try to lose your thoughts to the moment and the pleasure of the physical stimulation you are enjoying. I allow my mind to wander to my wildest fantasy, and even sometimes imagine that's the scenario I am in at that moment. Only other advice I can give, is if you try too hard, invariably you won't achieve orgasm, as you simply won't be relaxed enough. Good luck - practice makes perfect, believe me !!
I guess it's hard for me to understand because my nipples are very sensitive and I get horny pretty easy. Having an orgasm with a vibrator has always been super easy for me and I guess I just assumed it would work for all girls? With guys I like to come one or twice from their tongue or fingers before they enter me and then it's much easier to come. I love cowgirl so you can control the amount of stimulation and you can also reach down and use your own fingers. Have you tried that Ell? Anyways good luck girl.
Orgasms are something I've never had a problem with - but I do realise that's not true for all women and girls.
Humans are the only species on this planet to enjoy the orgasm phenomena ... but in nature it's not of paramount necessity for the female as much as the male. However the capacity is clearly available for females to enjoy orgasmic joy and is a source of supreme satisfaction repeatedly - which men can't achieve without a period of rest between ejaculations. It's largely down to the biggest sexual organ in our bodies i.e. the brain. A friend of mine can orgasm just with the power of thought alone. Clearly she has a very well developed sense of local brain excitation and psychic stimulus and can imagine a sexual situation to the extreme, bringing about her orgasm with no physical contact with lips or genitalia.
For lesser mortals like myself much more is required - and this is where "Dancing Doll" hits the nail on the head. A vibrator would be ideal for stimulating that particular part of the brain into realising its true existence and initiating its further development. That in turn may result in increased blood flows to vital erogenous zones - even allowing the clitoris to swell more definitively and make better contact with the male penis - essential for me to orgasm - and maybe a reason girls prefer a bigger, thicker male member inside them to accentuate the feelings of intimacy.
I must admit I find it easier to orgasm when I'm masturbating (with either fingers or a vibrator) - just because I've worked out (with lots of practice...) what combination of stimulation gets me going best. I find I often don't orgasm when I'm being fucked - although I still enjoy it!
I confess I do orgasm quite a lot when having cyber-chats on Lush - the combination of mental stimulation through sexual chat, and physical stimulation with fingers or a vibrator, really gets me going!
But having someone else give you one is still the best, of course!
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I think an orgasm build up starts with facing your partner and looking at his eyes, loking at his body and really taking in what you see. admiring your partner's body, and enjoying his touch on your skin. Then it has to be built up slowly with loving touches. I can't orgasm without nipple play, I always orgasm on top. Slow and steady wins the race for me. I have to work hard at coming and concentrate what I can feel in my body. If I do too much kissing while on top, my orgasm takes a lot longer.
Also when I'm on top, my partner has to move in a way that I like.
Making love on the carpet while I'm on top can be better than the bed, as it's a hard surface and I feel better that way. Its a bit rustic on the carpet growl Love it.