I have a good friend who has recently stopped hanging out with the rest of our group because he claims that there is no point going out to bars and clubs anymore. He says that because of his height (he's about 5'5) that its impossible for him to meet women. He has always bitched about being short but the rest of us always kind of shrugged it off and just thought of him as being kind of a bitter guy. When I started to actually think about it though, I began to see where he was coming from.
Even though he's a pretty good looking guy, the women he's had in the past have usually been somewhat less attractive. We all joke about his "low standards" but he always claimed that "he needed to take whatever he could get." I always thought "well why doesn't he just go for short girls." But when I asked a few short girls about it, it turned out that short girls don't like short guys either.
I'm starting to feel bad because we've all always bugged him about being short, thinking that it was no big deal. But when I thought about it...we would never tease a friend for being fat or ugly. So why do we do feel fine about bugging a guy for being short? I've always tried to reassure him by telling him that he's good looking and that girls find him attractive, but deep down I've never considered him competition when we meet a group of women.
So...
Is being short a dealbreaker?
At what height would you consider a man unattractive?
Would you put them in the same category as men that are very fat or unattractive in some other way?
Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
How important is a man's height?
last reply
210 replies
27.0k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Alpha Blonde
I'm sure some people might blast me for this, but yes, height is a deal-breaker for me. And yes, I'm aware this is a superficial quality, and there are many wonderful, bright, exciting short men out in the universe.
But there are certain things we are attracted to, and certain things we aren't.
I'm 5'5, and I do like to wear heels sometimes. I like to be with a man where I feel petite enough that he can pick me up and throw me onto the bed, and where I feel enveloped by him when I'm in his arms. Its just my personal preference.
I've also noticed that taller guys (even if they aren't traditionally attractive) will always get more attention from women just based on height alone. A tall man really stands out in a sea of shorter men at a bar, and he will definitely get first choice when it comes to 'picking up'. Have seen it a million times.
90% of my girlfriends feel exactly the same way. We do talk about height as a measure of attractiveness quite regularly...
I blame Manolo and Louboutin for starting the mega-stiletto trend for women who instantly end up 4 inches taller in their heels... LOL
But there are certain things we are attracted to, and certain things we aren't.
I'm 5'5, and I do like to wear heels sometimes. I like to be with a man where I feel petite enough that he can pick me up and throw me onto the bed, and where I feel enveloped by him when I'm in his arms. Its just my personal preference.
I've also noticed that taller guys (even if they aren't traditionally attractive) will always get more attention from women just based on height alone. A tall man really stands out in a sea of shorter men at a bar, and he will definitely get first choice when it comes to 'picking up'. Have seen it a million times.
90% of my girlfriends feel exactly the same way. We do talk about height as a measure of attractiveness quite regularly...
I blame Manolo and Louboutin for starting the mega-stiletto trend for women who instantly end up 4 inches taller in their heels... LOL
Moderator
I'm 5'7" - as long as he's taller than me when I'm wearing heels, I'm happy.
If I was shorter, it wouldn't bother me if the man was short too. I just prefer him to be taller than me!
If I was shorter, it wouldn't bother me if the man was short too. I just prefer him to be taller than me!
I'm sure some people might blast me for this, but yes, height is a deal-breaker for me. And yes, I'm aware this is a superficial quality, and there are many wonderful, bright, exciting short men out in the universe.
But there are certain things we are attracted to, and certain things we aren't.
Exactly. I don't like the term "superficial." I think some people forget that attraction is not a choice.
well ... I am 5'8" and with heels ~ up to 6'. And there are some of us that may "prefer height" - personally, I usually am drawn to men who are taller than 6'.
Then, funny thing - most of my partners have been between 5'7" and 5'10". Those "shorter" men LOVE a woman taller than they are. (One man would fluff up like a Peacock when we walked into a restaurant or club - silly, but true.)
I think if the guy was a great guy, his height would be irrelevant; obviously I have dated shorter men. But there is this thing called "short man syndrome" - and funny (not) how most short men display that side. Only a confident shorter man, doesn't fall into that SMS.
So dealbreaker? to a degree - but a jerk is a jerk no matter his height.
Active Ink Slinger
I am about 5'4 and i have to say i wouldn't go out with anyone shorter than me, but thats just my preference....
Ice cream + Candy = Yummy
Active Ink Slinger
While I do LOVE a tall man, it is not a deal breaker. It is one of many attributes. When I was a teen I always said as long as he was taller than me thats good enough. Not so anymore. I'm a mere 5'4". I want a man that could carry me out of a burning building (I also hope that would never have to be put to the test). I do however, encounter many short men (often shorter than myself) on a day to day basis. Generally they are married, often to women taller than them. I know of one in particular that was married 3 times, always to a woman several inches taller than him.
Alpha Blonde
I forgot to mention that there is something to be said about the natural aesthetic of seeing a man that is taller than his female counterpart.
When I am performing a duet in dance, it is always a consideration that I am partnered by a man that is at least slightly taller than I am... not just for practicalities of the male dancer being able to do lifts with the female, but also because the traditionally preferred aesthetic on stage is a larger male and a more petite female.
It can be a limiting factor for any female dancer over the height of 5'4"...
When I am performing a duet in dance, it is always a consideration that I am partnered by a man that is at least slightly taller than I am... not just for practicalities of the male dancer being able to do lifts with the female, but also because the traditionally preferred aesthetic on stage is a larger male and a more petite female.
It can be a limiting factor for any female dancer over the height of 5'4"...
Quote by VanGogh
I think if the guy was a great guy, his height would be irrelevant; obviously I have dated shorter men. But there is this thing called "short man syndrome" - and funny (not) how most short men display that side. Only a confident shorter man, doesn't fall into that SMS.
This is something that I've noticed people say about my friend as well.(and me, even though I'm not that short). Although its usually used by bigger guys who get shown up by him in sports, or in the gym etc. It seems like he can't be good at anything without being labelled as having SMS. I think a lot of people think that they can just push a shorter guy around and that he should just take it. And if he stands up for himself...well he must have SMS. I can understand if he doesn't always want to be used as comic relief.
Quote by LusciousLola
While I do LOVE a tall man, it is not a deal breaker. It is one of many attributes. When I was a teen I always said as long as he was taller than me thats good enough. Not so anymore. I'm a mere 5'4". I want a man that could carry me out of a burning building (I also hope that would never have to be put to the test). I do however, encounter many short men (often shorter than myself) on a day to day basis. Generally they are married, often to women taller than them. I know of one in particular that was married 3 times, always to a woman several inches taller than him.
But were the women attractive? Odds are they were not. Remember that for men, a woman's height doesn't translate into attactiveness like it seems to for women. Of course its possible for anyone to get married. But are they settling? Or ending up with someone that they truly want to be with.
Quote by DamonXQuote by VanGogh
I think if the guy was a great guy, his height would be irrelevant; obviously I have dated shorter men. But there is this thing called "short man syndrome" - and funny (not) how most short men display that side. Only a confident shorter man, doesn't fall into that SMS.
This is something that I've noticed people say about my friend as well.(and me, even though I'm not that short). Although its usually used by bigger guys who get shown up by him in sports, or in the gym etc. It seems like he can't be good at anything without being labelled as having SMS. I think a lot of people think that they can just push a shorter guy around and that he should just take it. And if he stands up for himself...well he must have SMS. I can understand if he doesn't always want to be used as comic relief.
I don't believe that women "push" the shorter man around ... but perhaps that's a male-thing. I certainly would not think of someone being short as comic relief either.
For me, the Short Man Syndrome is an angry male, with self-esteem issues that is below average height who feels it necessary to act out in an attempt to gain respect and recognition from others and compensate for his shorter stature. I also think that SMS is a term applied to the short man whenever he is assertive or commanding - but if the exact same attitude was taken by a taller man, not many would think twice or comment about it.
Attractiveness is not found in height.
I don't believe that women "push" the shorter man around ... but perhaps that's a male-thing. I certainly would not think of someone being short as comic relief either.
I was referring to how other men act towards shorter men. Not women. I don't think I've ever seen a woman push a guy around no matter how tall he is.
When our group goes out to a bar and we get in a fight, 90% of the time its because some guy has picked a fight with our shortest friend, thinking that he would be an easy fight, or because they made a joke about him and then were surprised when he stands up for himself. He just acts the same way any us would if we were faced with the same things. Yet, he's labelled as having SMS. It just seems like its a lose/lose situation for him.
But...thats getting a little off topic.
Artistic Tart
Quote by ReallyHard... I'm 5'7"
I'm 5'2", wanna go out? lol.
I feel the same a every other girl thats answered. I want my man to be taller than me, and in my case by more than a few inches too. Just like Dancing Doll I like knowing that I can be picked up, turned around, thrown around easy. It's a turn on, baby.
I think it can be said that women in general prefer tall men, but are not adverse to short men. Take a look at Hollywood heartthrobs like Johnny Depp (5'11"), Brad Pitt(said to be 5'11", but I don't believe it), Mel Gibson(5'9")George Clooney(5'11") Tobey Maguire(5'8"), Matt Damon(5'10"), Hugh Grant(5'11"), Mark Wahlberg(5'7"-5'8"). Of course there are taller heartthrobs as well, but not as many. Leading men in movies anymore don't tend to be tall, in years gone by when a leading man was short, they would have him walk on a platform next to the leading lady or have her walk in a trench so that he appeared taller.
My wife prefers taller men, she said I just made the cut at 5'11"-6'
That's all I care about 
My wife prefers taller men, she said I just made the cut at 5'11"-6'
That's all I care about 
Advanced Wordsmith
I'm personally five, two myself... So I'm fairly short anyway. I have noticed that I've only ever dated taller men, but that's because I'm so short that it's hard not to be taller than me.
However, I don't find 'short' men a turn off, I will admit, I find taller men more attractive, I think... But I wouldn't reject someone just for being short. They tend to be more cute... However since I'm five two, I'd feel bizzarely awkward with a bloke shorter than me (probably would if I was taller too) so I can't say if it'd last...
However, I don't find 'short' men a turn off, I will admit, I find taller men more attractive, I think... But I wouldn't reject someone just for being short. They tend to be more cute... However since I'm five two, I'd feel bizzarely awkward with a bloke shorter than me (probably would if I was taller too) so I can't say if it'd last...
Quote by freefallin1309
I think it can be said that women in general prefer tall men, but are not adverse to short men. Take a look at Hollywood heartthrobs like Johnny Depp (5'11"), Brad Pitt(said to be 5'11", but I don't believe it), Mel Gibson(5'9")George Clooney(5'11") Tobey Maguire(5'8"), Matt Damon(5'10"), Hugh Grant(5'11"), Mark Wahlberg(5'7"-5'8"). Of course there are taller heartthrobs as well, but not as many. Leading men in movies anymore don't tend to be tall, in years gone by when a leading man was short, they would have him walk on a platform next to the leading lady or have her walk in a trench so that he appeared taller.
My wife prefers taller men, she said I just made the cut at 5'11"-6'
Do you consider those men short? They're all around average height.
Quote by freefallin1309
No, but they're not tall either. My point was that women love men of all heights it seems ... they may prefer tall, but by looking at Hollywood hunks, they're average or slightly short.
I was referring more to men in the 5'3-5'6 range. I don't think many women would turn down a guy because he was "only" 5'11. But being less than 5 1/2 feet tall seems to put guys in the same category as men that are very fat or ugly. I don't believe that the height of hollywood actors has any relation to this discussion.
Lollipop Girl
I'm 4'10'' barefoot and 4'11'' with shoes, but to me height dont really matter, but i like the guy to be taller then me. And thats not hard to do!
"Haters make me FAMOUS!!!"
Sassy
Sassy
Active Ink Slinger
Obviously no hope then for a little Ducky 
Rubber Ducky your the one, you make my life so much fun
If I saw a man sitting at the bar and I was attracted to him, my attraction wouldn't diminish if he stood up and I realized he was shorter than me.
Height, weight and even looks are not THE major factor when I am on the prowl. A cute smile, sense of humor and warm eyes will always win my heart.
Height, weight and even looks are not THE major factor when I am on the prowl. A cute smile, sense of humor and warm eyes will always win my heart.
Quote by SweetBitch
If I saw a man sitting at the bar and I was attracted to him, my attraction wouldn't diminish if he stood up and I realized he was shorter than me.
Height, weight and even looks are not THE major factor when I am on the prowl. A cute smile, sense of humor and warm eyes will always win my heart.
I agree, and I would add to that intelligence and self-confidence. I've known men who were not very tall, and who had self-confidence to spare, and who had no problem with attracting women.
Quote by DamonX
I was referring more to men in the 5'3-5'6 range. I don't think many women would turn down a guy because he was "only" 5'11. But being less than 5 1/2 feet tall seems to put guys in the same category as men that are very fat or ugly. I don't believe that the height of hollywood actors has any relation to this discussion.
Actually it does, I was explaining how not being tall, meaning over average height, had no bearing on how women seem to nearly faint at the mention of these guys. That you don't have to be tall to be wanted. Wasn't the Thread called "How important is a man's height?"? That's pretty general to me, it doesn't scream anything about "Do short men turn women off?" I was giving you an idea to tell your friend to make him feel better, that Hollywood heartthrobs that are not tall are still actively sought, that though they are not "tall" (once again reffering to above average height), they still are appealing to women. Celebrities are the only real-world examples I can use, given I doubt you, me, and your friend don't know the same people that I could tell you about Joe down the street who is 5'5" and has a different woman on each arm every night when he comes home.
Artistic Tart
Quote by freefallin1309
No, but they're not tall either. My point was that women love men of all heights it seems ... they may prefer tall, but by looking at Hollywood hunks, they're average or slightly short.
I heard that they make a big effort to make the shorter actors look tall though so even in hollywood they try to make the actors look tall even if they are not.
Artistic Tart
Quote by freefallin1309
They used to, though not sure they do that as much. Usually long shots when the two are side by side and they make her wear flat shoes. Its not as much of a big deal as it used to be, say, back in the 30's and 40's.
oh ok. I heard something about the guy from 24 freaking the f__k out when they forgot to give him a step to stand on when he walked up to a podium.
As for me I dont think it should be that big a deal unless the whole point is to make them a sex symbol.