Ok Ladies, If you were alone on a long haul flight and found yourself having a good conversation and getting on well with the gentleman sat next to you, how would you feel if the gentleman contacted you via social media, having not given him your full name or contact details?
Not as freaked out as I would if he actually showed up at my front door!
That is hard to say. Maybe a little flattered that he searched me out, or maybe put off that he did it.
I think it would freak me out a bit but if and when you contact her apologize up front but tell her you couldnt get her out of your mind and that you enjoyed the conversation so much and was hoping she’d feel the same way.
What’s the worst that can happen she could just tell you to leave her alone.
Like Beffer said at least you aren’t at her front door.
I am single, so it might be flattering for me.
If I were not, and we'd discussed that my relationship was Open, then again, it might be flattering.
Otherwise, I think if that information was not shared, After the Fact Contact was not invited and could be disturbing.
Regardless, I'd definitiely want to hear it couched in "I so enjoyed our conversation, I couldn't get you out of my mind" which would still make me apprehensive about being Stalked, but the tone of what would follow, would really define my receptiveness.
Respect that No Means No and all is well.
Also, remember, that even though he/she SAID or suggested that he/she is available, that doesn't necessarily mean it's so. I know more than a few "involved/Married" people who present as Single as an self-indulgent dialliance, fully expecting that this singular interaction is a fleeting casual encounter. Unexpected communication thereafter changes that dynamic entirely, possibly even causing panic if not dismay.
My suggestion is that if you do elect to make contact after tracking someone down, be cautious in presenting how and why you did so and be accomodating to however it's received. Showing initiative can be a good thing, but being perceived as a Stalker is surely not what you wish, I'm sure. The one thing I would be listening for, is what do you expect to happen next, now that you've found me? Be clear and get to that early in the communication, it will likely put the other person at ease much more quickly.
Good luck to you!
Okay I am obviously coming across as a bit of a stalker ........ maybe I should explain more.
I was travelling back from the US with my wife and teenage daughter, unfortunately we could not be seated together so my wife and daughter were sat across the isle with two seats between us. I was sat in a middle seat next to the lady in question. I usually find it very difficult to talk to people( I have no idea why I just can’t which is why you will not find me in the chat rooms). But on this occasion this lady and I just talked and chatted, it was great to talk, I even pointed out my wife and daughter across the isle and still we talked.
I looked over to check my wife and daughter were ok and that’s when things took a turn. My wife was glaring at me( I’ve been married 25 years and known my wife for 30 years and I know that look ?)
I immediately clammed up, I feel that I may have been rude and was hoping to find her and apologise for not talking for the rest of the flight.
Once we landed she said good bye and wished me luck.
My wife apologised for her jealousy once we left the airport by which time it was too late.
Well that's a totally different type of scenario than I was envisioning from your original post. I am sure that your wife was quite surprised at your chattiness, given your description.
Following up with someone on social media, given what you described is unnecessary and would probably seem odd, to me, anyway.
I'd leave it alone. It happened, it passed, move on. Nice of you to think of explaining yourself, but it seems to be it's best left to dissolve in the passage of time.
He'll more than likely find where I work, music vids or random YouTube vids because I don't have Facebook, Twitter or instagram.
I do miss instagram but my account kept getting flagged and I am banned from Twitter.
Never had Facebook.
__
I googled myself and a lot of music vids popped up.
A few random pics from events too.
if i wanted him to contact me, i'd have given him a way to do so if he'd asked. if he does it without that go ahead, far as i'm concerned, he's stalker material.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Depends on what the conversation was like and how well we hit it off. I would be a little worried he was a stalker to be honest though.
It would of course depend on the message he sent but I think I'd still be rather disturbed and a little creeped out.
Not good.
It ended for me when the flight did, unless I suggested otherwise.
Seems he is presumptuous that I also thought that it was a good conversation and that we were getting on well.
But it was likely just superficial chat to pass the time.
"Don't Believe Everything You Think"
I have often been 'chatted up' on aircraft but so far unless I was prepared to give them (him/her) my details I have never had any further approaches. I have had two experiences that I was prepared to go further with and enjoyed a night or two with them - then it was over.
I don't have a social media account of any kind so they had wasted their time searching.
I wouldn't just be freaked out, I'd be creeped out and pissed off . . . like how dare someone think that they're invited to stalk me online?
Block and maybe even bail from the community - I can get back in touch with friends on my own time.
I used to travel a lot and chatting with a seat mate happened lots of times. Sometimes if the person next to you is charming and a real knockout I have given in to the temptation to flirt and he has then flirted back. There are one or two individuals who I kept in touch with for a while, but I am very careful who I will invite to go further. I am now of an age where this is less likely to happen.
I'd leave it alone. Can you imagine how your wife would feel if she knew you were trying to find this woman on social media. And if you tried to explain to your wife that you were only looking for this woman to apologise for not talking to her for the rest of the flight do you really think she'd accept that. Just leave it or you could end up starting something that will only cause you problems.
