God gave men two heads, but only enough blood to run one at a time.
can they be trusted? perhaps, but not without some precautions. if you (their woman) is not taking care of them physically and emotionally, eventually they will find someone who will.
and while you can have a friendship with a man without sex, I do not think you can have a friendship with a man with him at least thinking about you in a sexual manner. if you do not encourage him, he will not act on these feelings, but his dick will be twitching a but while you area talking to him about they most innocent subjects.
Men?
They are hard, soft, difficult, easy, predictable, and a mystery. Some I'm attracted to, some not so much. So are pleasant and kind, friends worth having. Some are assholes, lying, and conniving.
Just like women.
I wanted to give a real and informed answer to the best of my ability, it's quite long and may seem to go off topic a little, but stay with me, sometimes I find it difficult to refine and word my thoughts and ideas! Just to clarify, this is not a commentary on all men, nor am I saying that women are squeaky clean and guilt-free of this, but it is a brief(ish) opinion which hopefully answers the question in relation to stereotypical male attitudes towards women which have been influenced by the media. I'm sure there will be people who disagree, which is fine. This is just one point of view.
I believe that through media input our society has influenced many boys and men to become emotionally illiterate due to the constant message that to be a "real man" you must be tough, "masculine" - whatever that's supposed to mean-, and without emotional expression. Of course I am not a man, and I do not speak for all men with this comment but I know many men who simply cannot talk about their emotions, or mock those who can and do talk about emotion and feeling. Women are guilty of this too, I'm not saying this mockery is one-sided, I am saying it's unhealthy.
I believe that as a consequence of the media's influence many people believe that men are only interested in women for sex, and self gratification, in my experience this really isn't the case. I'm only 19, spare me, I'm not hugely worldly-wise! However, I think it's almost an expectation that men, starting at a young age, are solely interested in women for sex. I believe that we are all heavily influenced by media to believe this is the case and we are actively encouraged to think this way. Advertisements for beer, cars and almost anything aimed at men usually involves a beautiful girl, scantily clad, which objectifies her in order to sell a product. Then, take a look at adverts which aim to sell products for women, it's all about appearance and changing yourself, in order to attain the "perfect guy".
I think that our society puts so much pressure on every individual that it's hard to think. I am a feminist, I believe in equality between men and women, yet even so I find I make judgements on others based on attributes which really shouldn't be an issue. We all do it, and it's incredibly hard to stop doing so. Relating this back to your question, I think that many men don't realise that they objectify women because it's so easily done. From making a quick comment about a woman's beauty or body, to wolf-whistling at her, to shouting sexual comments at women in the street, and this is an influence of the media. The message that "It's ok to wolf-whistle women, they like the male attention, that's what they crave." which in turn provides the idea that men only think with sex in mind.
I'm sorry if this seems badly thought out, I'm very tired and like I said, I find ideas hard to refine sometimes, Also, I send apologies for the fact that it was a bit long, but well done if you made it to the end!
- G
Wow - thanks a lot for your post CG, it was very well expressed and raises quite a few thoughts.
I agree with most of what you said, but also disagree about the fact that the media are solely responsible for instigating the crude/tough/emotionless masculine model. I believe that this model was perpetuated for centuries, way before our modern mass media era. Back then, the role of men and what was expected from them was a lot different than what it is today, for many different reasons. The same could be said about the role of women, though that would be another debate ; the legitimacy of these former roles would also be another interesting debate. The problem, in my opinion, is that these past gender roles have a hard time adapting to our modern reality, especially when their respective current models are established and perpetuated by superficial means, such as the media (as you so cleverly expressed).
Now the problem with the media's propaganda is that it doesn't offer a representation of genders that's aimed at benefiting the greater good, nor does it endorse any responsibility in that regard despite its gigantic cultural influence ; it simply feeds us with a thoughtless vision that pleases the masses and sells easily. A comorbid issue of this is that, a lot of society's sectors still being largely dominated by men (including the media), the images that are offered to us are mainly created by men, with the obvious desire of pleasing the male population. Men are thus fed with models of what they themselves would like to be, as opposed to what women would expect from them ; women are also fed with models targeted at pleasing men, sometimes at the cost of their own dignity. A lot of men then wonder why they're being rejected by females despite their 'obvious manliness', while women helplessly await for males that would satisfy their needs in a respectable manner. Both genders later realize that their respective roles leave them largely unsatisfied, yet remain clueless about how they should behave, or are fearful of the social repercussions that would be provoked by acting outside the established norm.
Of course, some masculine models are a bit more moderate and representative of what women want, but still two main aspects of masculinity remain quite vague through these numerous and confused images : how men should express both their sexual desires and emotions in a constructive manner. In fact, a lot of men fall into either one of two extremes : the conquering, emotionless, unapologetic brute or the submissive, bland, asexual doormat. Those able to achieve an acceptable/agreeable mixture of those two stereotypes often remain a rarity, and achieve it by going through a rather rough process of societal reexamination and personal affirmation. Even then, a lot of these men, by lacking any support for the perspective they have reached, might not be too inclined to present their personal notion of masculinity in a overt and confident manner. Many women also go through a similar process, trying to figure out a way to display their sexuality in a way that would be both respectable and appealing, despite a lot of contradicting models being presented to them.
Where this is significant to the initial interrogation of this thread is that it can be hard for well-intentioned males to be perceived as such when so many other men and the media perpetuate a general image of men that's so perverted, self-centered, calculative and vulgar. As was previously discussed, even if women try to judge men on an individual basis, it can be difficult at times for some men to demonstrate noble intentions when many women have been disillusioned toward males by having been constantly played with and betrayed. This is especially true when men don't have a whole lot of time to present themselves, such as in a bar, club or venue.
