Ok i am married to someone who is more like a roomate now than anything and one of the main reasons was lack of communication (ie i have tried to get her to talk to me and she just doesnt) and my problem is we have a 3 year old that as much as i love her drives us beyond insane, which then pushes her mother to constantly yell at her which still accomplishes nothing as far as our daughter is concerned but try as i might i just cant seem to get her to calm down or to stop yelling so often any ideas?
Yeap, when my girls were small, I was frustrated regularly because All I did was look after this child, go to work, look after the child, go to work, look after the child, go to work...you get the idea. Break the cycle for her!
Hmm though the advice is all great my problem well the problem im looking for help on is the problem with her yelling at our child. if she wont talk to me how else am i supposed to get over this problem?
Find a sitter and take her to dinner and just talk, you cannot do it when the child is around .........So you spend sometime with each other and talk ....
Hi.
I had the same problem. I have 2 children aged 10 and 6. I found myself shouting at them a lot.
The one thing i can say is take a look at the help you think you are offering her and see if it is actually helping. My Fiancee thinks he is helping by cooking dinner lets say, however on the face of it it is helpful, he is messing up my routine and making me cranky. Quite often the things you think you are doing are not really what you are actually doing! I know it sounds crazy but with the help of your partner make a timetable and stick it on the wall, door or wherever. Then if you want to help you will see what is on the list to do next and you can do it for her. This way you can open the lines of communication i.e "i see babys bath is next, let me do that for you"
This timetable will also help your daughter understand the day to day life, mummy has to wash up now but its ok because she plays dollies with me after that. This helped us with our children and as they got older and could read the house rules got put up there as well.
It is hard work and things will get better in time. One tip i can give you is that if you lower your voice right down your child will have to stop what they are doing and concentrate on what you are saying rather than the usual tuning out of shouting.
Hope i have helped and feel free to mesage me to talk more.