Of all our inventions for mass communication, 
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Quote by Metilda
Hmm - I feel like I tolerate a lot of mannerisms in this regard - I don't feel flattered or pleased just because I'm not roadside or didn't pump my fuel.
Actions toward another that are defined by social customs aren't what would make me feel 'good' about myself - etc . . . it just makes me feel like we're all playing a role and nothing more.
You know - "thank you for walking on the outside - but I know we'd both get wet - however, since it's important to you and society dictates it be done, I appreciate you caring about what society think' . . . that's really how I feel about it. That's his role.
My role is to 'be polite and appreciative when he does so - even when I could care less that he's done so - because that's what society expects from me'
As a result: all the 'gentlemen behaviors' that my husband sticks to - I'm careful not to negate them in front of him . . . I save that for online forums. LOL
I think my lack of appreciation - concern, rather - is because it wasn't ingrained in me. I was raised with 2 sisters - not brothers. My parents never had to reiterate anything other than 'we're the minister's family - be courteous and polite at all times'
As a result: I applied my own meanings to things. I never considered my Dad driving to be a sign of anything. My Mom always said she had a bad back - so my Dad drove by default. Thus - my Dad pumped fuel at the gas station.
I grew up thinking that he did that only for HER - and that, in general, the driver just pumped fuel (aka: the driver was often male - males pumped fuel - but I never considered it that way). It caused a lot of problems in my marriage early on when my husband would do all those same things and I would say 'I'm perfectly capable of doing it for myself' - because I was not suffering from a bad back, as my Mom always stated.
One very negative thing that came with just going along with it all - I suddenly found myself without a husband to do all sorts of things for me, he was deployed, and I had to sort it out for myself OR take help from teh rednecks down the street.
Yeah I don't think so - I sorted it all out by myself. I eventually learned how to do anything and everything he did.
When he fell ill - with bouts of dizziness - and wasn't able to drive anymore I had a hard time driving him around without being rattled with nerves. After 8 years of marriage actually driving him felt like driving my Dad around when he was teaching me - I was sick to my stomach. LOL . .. but I got over that, too.
Treat someone like a frail flower and they'll eventually wilt like a dead flower.
Quote by sprite
i get great joy in holding doors open for anyone - it's just nice and it always makes people smile
Quote by Guest
Your view is confusingly narrow and frankly, "ungenerous."
You ascribe motives to helpful people that aren't common.
Life is hard, merciless and ugly: just get plunked down in the desert (or the city) without resources and find out how quickly you need the kindness of others. My husband isn't kind to others because he feels he has a role to play, he does it because he wants to help people. Accepting help doesn't make me weak; I know full well I can do it, I got myself through two colleges without any money to speak of and now have no trouble at all being a corporate VP and exercising authority given to me...I feel empowered enough to do whatever I set my mind to. But civility, kindness and generosity make life better physically and mentally for everyone. Want to feel better about your life? Volunteer! Tired of being kicked around by corporate greed and faceless entities? Then make life better for any one person around you!
Always be respectful and helpful, always give without expecting in return, simply because we need civilization to be civilized. If everyone did it, life would be safe and wonderful and kind. Chivilry is being respectful of others; recognizing their intrinsic value, not performing expectations.
Minister's daughter? "Let each regard the others as better than and superior to himself." "Do unto others as you would have done to you." "He who would be first among you, let him serve."
Quote by buttercup2u
I love when a man opens a door for me or offers me a seat on the bus or pulls out my chair for me at a restaurant. It tells me that he sees me as person, as well as giving me an idea about how his father treated his mother. All too often these days, women are treated as property to be used, instead of a person to be respected and loved and cherished. Of the flip side of that coin a woman's respect for the other person. Her reaction tells me about how her mother treated her father. Does she smile and say thank you, or does she just walk through the door?
I think that any woman who is offended by the show of respect by a man opening a door or pulling out a chair should perhaps ask herself what kind of values would she like society to have, one where it is every man (or woman) for himself, or one where people respect and care for eachother. We as adults, often don't realize how much we have learned from our parents, and in turn how much our children learn from us. It is something that we should be more aware of, I believe.
