Quote by gypsymoth
Quote by LadyX
Okay I could come in here and say that none of that matters, all that matters is that we have each other, blah blah, but thats just not the truth. It does matter, not the job but the money.

It doesn't matter what it is really, I could care less if the fool sells stereos, builds furniture, or sells stocks, but whatever it is I do want to be treated to nice things sometimes. And ya, I can pay sometimes too, but I want to know I will be taken care of and I dont have to worry about eating beans out the can at the end of the month. lol. I went through that as a kid, so never again!

I want a man who can take me out, buy me things, and show me a good time. I dont want to hear a lot of complaining about it, and if you cant afford it, then its like somebody else said- nothing wrong with a little fun, but for me to stick around? A little more is what I want.

I dont always want those things ever day and of course if he is an asshole then nothing else matters really, but those things matter to me.

I'm curious, then, as to why you or any other woman wouldn't want to make sure that she can take care of herself financially, by assuring she is self-reliant and able to earn a living that assures her of the standards and levels of well-being that are important to her? I ask this having lived through rough times as a child, too, and having learned that the number one person I could rely on was myself.

After that, the dynamics of the male-female relationship are shifted. If a woman is financially autonomous, and in a field that enables her to live to the standard she aspires to, and she is happy, content, fulfilled, etc, with it, then where is the problem? We're NOT liars, as a previous poster has insinuated, in fact, when it comes to our desire for a relationship. We're not fools, either, and I suspect that you and I have things in common based on our respective backgrounds, and the need to assure that the end of the month is not pitiful. I don't want those days to ever come around again either, and I learned long ago that the one person I could rely on to make sure of that was myself.

Just my opinion, of course. I may get flamed for it, but what the heck, everyone has an opinion, right?

You asked if I, as a woman, wouldnt want to make sure I could take care of myself. To answer your question, yes I do, and actually I am doing pretty good in terms of money, more than lots of people out there, but I work hard for it. I dont need a man to make sure I have plenty to eat or even a roof over my head. When you say that I cant rely on anybody but myself, girl, you are damn right about that. I dont trust any fool with my life or my happiness, but then that wasn't the question really. The question was do I care what he does, but I also know that what Damon meant was, do we care whether he makes decent money or not. Yes it matters even if it isnt the only thing.

Because even though I am not dependent on a man to take care of me, if I am going to allow one into my life, to know what I go through, to trust him not to abuse me or make me feel small or take advantage of the fact that I am his girl, then I do want some of the nicer things in life in return. I want to be treated like a lady, I want to be treated in general. I want to feel special, I want to be shown off, and I want an effort made. Believe me if those things happen, then I will show the same in return to a good man.

A little of the guard always stays up. I see what happens when women totally let go and trust a man, seen it too many times, and Gypsy that will not be me. I will keep whats mine and I will make sure I am protected, I am my best protector. I don't look for a man to take care of me. My business is with men, and so to even have a relationship means I have to figure out where the lines are. Its a lot easier to just have fun, mess around, and cut ties where it doesn't make for a good time anymore.

But sometimes I meet a man and I think, damn I wonder what its like to be with you. And usually, he has more money, usually he's good looking and has nice things. I know there are lots of good guys out there without a penny to their name, but that doesnt mean I want to date them.

I dont think the fact that I get a little wet and weak at the knees at the confident good looking guy with a little bit of money, swagger, and an easy way of putting his arm around me is a coincidence every time.

Care what a hot guy does for a living?