My mom, a very strong-willed and strong-opinioned woman with a professional career and doctorate degree, would probably at least support much of what the majority chose but completely disagree that it is sexist or detrimental.
When l was a kid, she spent quite a lot of time and effort teaching me gentlemanly bevaviour such as holding doors, pulling out chairs at the dinner table, walking on the outside when accompanying a lady on the sidewalk, and many more things than l care to list. l'd say the thing she stressed most of all is to treat women with respect.
I personally am extremely attracted to guys like that.
The use of the word 'despite' shows a bias in the study. I wonder if the author was dissapointed in the results.
I've always had simpler labels for benevolent sexists and hostile sexists. I call the benevolent sexists decent guys, or nice guys. The hostile sexists, I call assholes. I don't sleep with assholes. Unfortunately, some of my business clients are 'hostile sexists.'
Well, I was brought up to offer my seat to the elderly and the disabled and the pregnant on public transportation, to hold doors open for others (regardless of sex--thank you, Mr. Franz), to always offer to pay for a meal, and otherwise exhibit what I guess might be considered, if I were male, to be "benevolently sexist" traits. To me, it's just the way things should be done.
I've raised my boys the same way--with twists, of course. Things like never refusing a girl's request to dance (this caused quite the kerfuffle when my oldest was asked by two separate girls to a TOLO dance) and offering your seat on public transportation to any woman. The key thing is, I've raised my boys to behave in this manner, not because women are somehow in need of special treatment due to being weaker or whatever, but because women are just...naturally superior? We can do the higher math and produce tiny humans. I'm raising the boys to be "decent guys", as Beffer mentioned.
Decent guys--the "benevolent sexists"--are like the guy on the bus this morning who offered up his seat to me (I didn't take it). Decent guys hold doors but listen if I insist on holding the door for them. Decent guys politely refuse my offer to pay for dinner. Decent guys are good for society.
Want to spend some time wallowing in a Recommended Read? Pick one! Or two! Or seven!
I've been a feminist for over 45 years and I don't see myself as being that way.
Being that I was raised in the south I tend to take on a respectful overture towards women. While I have no issues with a woman paying for drinks or dinner I most often do happily. I wouldn’t have invited them out if I didn’t expect to foot the tab. I tend to lean towards Beffers state of mind.
I should specify that the authors of the study didn't agree with the term benevolent sexism. They just used it because that was what terminology was acceptable to general public.
I'd take being called a benevolent human anyday.
Lets boil all this psycho babble down. People doing something, anything, for one of two reasons and two reasons only. Either to gain something or to avoid something. The universe friends is on or off. It is binary. True or false. (A half truth friends is still a whole lie). A girl who falls for a guy wants the guy. Simple as that. A guy who falls for a girl wants the girl. Simple as that. You can apply this to any person of any sex, race, nationality, whatever. Might seem cynical, but if you think about it, it is true.
"insensitive prick!" – Danielle Algo
The article is closed off, so I can't look it up, but why do the researchers consider it sexist to pay for a meal, hold the door, etc.? It's only sexist if one does it only for one gender and do women really find it more attractive if the guy only does these things for women? Or do they just prefer friendly guys?
=== Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER ===
Interesting question. In some respects, my story of Liberty Mountain is a study of "benevolent sexism" - my main character finds himself a "junior" member of an all-female clan of amazing women. My guy is forced to re-think his attitude toward women and himself.
I am, at the start, putting my comments in context with my book. I wrote the story in the first person and my guy is me. I write my story as an autobiography of a life I never lived.
BOOK BLURB:
A homeless veteran’s life abruptly changes the day he stumbles upon a cult of female survivalists living off the grid for the last fifteen years. The Vietnam veteran's presence is unwanted and unwelcome. The group's leader has executed intruders in the past, and she is willing to kill again to keep her home a secret. To become the exception to the "no man alive" rule, the elderly vet must earn the trust of a skeptical and hostile sisterhood.
Interesting question. In some respects, my story of Liberty Mountain is a study of "benevolent sexism" - my main character finds himself a "junior" member of an all-female clan of amazing women. My guy is forced to re-think his attitude toward women and himself.
I am, at the start, putting my comments in context with my book. I wrote the story in the first person and my guy is me. I write my story as an autobiography of a life I never lived.
BOOK BLURB:
A homeless veteran’s life abruptly changes the day he stumbles upon a cult of female survivalists living off the grid for the last fifteen years. The Vietnam veteran's presence is unwanted and unwelcome. The group's leader has executed intruders in the past, and she is willing to kill again to keep her home a secret. To become the exception to the "no man alive" rule, the elderly vet must earn the trust of a skeptical and hostile sisterhood.
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