Well, you are really opening yourself up to a lot with this thread and in turn you have generated quite a bit of commenting.
I know from experience of being very shy as a young person that the more comfortable you are with yourself, and the more positive attitude you exude, the more attractive you are to others. Its about energy and connection.
I mean yes, as people have stated, certain people look for certain qualities in a man/woman. There are certain characteristics that appeal to me more than others, but it doesn't mean that people can't be attractive anyway.
For example, I love a tall man, but there are some hot guys that are not so tall. I have fallen for all kinds of men who have all kinds of looks, but the common thread remains. The inner beauty illuminates the outer shell, for however lovely a person can look, the spark from within is what ignites a meaningful connection between two people.
I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but I'm still a hot cup of tea. Chin up and think positively about life and yourself!
You've gotta accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
You've got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom, down to the minimum
Otherwise pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene
The thing is, you probably have victim written across your forehead in an invisible tattoo that only women can see. Many women are little more than parasites, given the chance. They measure their self-worth by how much attention they can get from men and how hot of a bf they can attract. Even if they don't want to be with you, they could be helping you find a gf, but they're getting what they want from you, so why should they? You really don't want to know them, at least not on their terms. If they don't want to meet you halfway, kick them to the curb.
So, back to the original question... Are you that unattractive?
Well, I think that there have been some excellent points made and you can probably get the answer you need from those.
I think CG put quite bluntly, but kindly nonetheless, that you don't always give off a great vibe [sic] and I agree.
Any dealings I've had with you have been pleasant and I've enjoyed talking to you, but the blog posts can be off-putting, well, to me anyway, but I'm guessing it will be the same for others.
I'm not saying that the image you project is wrong, but maybe it's revealing too much too soon? I wonder if that's the way you are IRL? Being perhaps overly down gives the impression (to me) of you being what I'd call a 'fixer upper'. By that I mean that it would be a lot of work to lick you into shape (oh my god, I'm coming across as a real cunt here, but I'm honestly trying to be helpful)
You know, what people have said about league/ 'punching above your weight' when it comes to choosing prospective partners, well, I've seen that happen. I don't actually believe in the league thing - there are so many examples of very different people having successful relationships, well, for as long as people in 'regular' relationships, so to speak - I mean, Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett is one example, if you think that way - it's all subjective anyway.
It can often be a self-sabotage thing, you know, going for people who are completely incompatible (rather than 'out of your league' - I don't believe in the league thing at all - you should see my husband, he's fucking gorgeous (the relationship is fucked, but he is actually very handsome)) because you're actually scared of getting into a relationship? People do this all of the time - choose people who are simply never going to work as a prospective partner - I mean, why do some women always choose guys who humiliate/abuse them?
I have this friend... She is totally gorgeous, I mean an absolute knockout, but she NEVER gets any interest whatsoever from guys. Now, I'm at best average in the looks department but when the two of us go out together, guys never talk to her, they speak to me but not her - I never used to get it and I know it used to piss her off, but it's the vibe she gives off - she is totally self deprecating, dismissive of a compliment and very needy.
I've spoken with male friends who've said that they would just 'never go there'. When asked to explain, they would often not be able to say why, but that there was just something about her, that she seemed 'off' somehow.
Anyway, guess that's a bit of a random rant, my take on things - hope you can get something useful from it?
I think physical attractiveness is only important initially. We may notice a stranger across the street because they're beautiful and have a great body, whereas we may not notice someone otherwise. That being said, I've found (and I really do mean this) that a person's attractiveness changes based on what kind of person they are.
If I'm thrown into a situation, say at work or with mutual friends, and there is a less attractive man who happens to be funny, nice, awesome, and lots of other good things: all of a sudden, I find myself attracted to him. I've also noticed the opposite: I've gotten to know people who I initially thought were completely gorgeous, and later found their personalities reprehensible. Their physical attractiveness is suddenly irrelevant.
It's important to get to know a person and to allow them to get to know you. There is so much more to attraction than just physical appearance, except to those who are utterly shallow, and why would you want those people to like you anyway?