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Unexpected endings - writing challenge (ongoing)

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Guest
Lurker
and realised it was just one of those living statues dressed up as Abraham Lincoln.He was covered in cheap gold paint. She resisted the urge to flash him and instead focussed all her energy on...
mercianknight
Active Ink Slinger
.....spraying him with furniture polish and giving him a good buffing to bring out the lustre in the paint. Satisfied with her efforts, she slipped her duster in her handbag, turned to the audience and.....
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Guest
Lurker
...did a spectacular rap rendition of The Mikado, from beginning to end, and singing everything herself. The crowd went...
WellMadeMale
Constant Gardener
into a state of mass hypnosis and resembled...zombies. Not your regular, run-of-the-mill zombies either, they were...
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
standingbear
Active Ink Slinger
members of Congress. All of them appeared to have just finished eating and one of them, the tall one in back had...
"Happiness is doing it rotten your own way."Isaac Asimov (1994)
Guest
Lurker
...but I had a jar of Ursine Brand Honey -- copyrighted, all rights reserved, plagiarisers will be cooked as usual, you know, all the usual warnings apply -- cleverly concealed in the palm of the hand I extended to him! He was instantly mollified by the sight of it, to my relief. Turning ever so slowly and quietly away, I headed towards the exit...
WellMadeMale
Constant Gardener
and gingerly applied some of the remaining sugary glop to my own honey pot! The effect was sensational and I made a mental note to buy stock in that company, just as soon...
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
standingbear
Active Ink Slinger
as I regained my sanity or escaped from the mental ward. Turning from the nurses window I ...
"Happiness is doing it rotten your own way."Isaac Asimov (1994)
Guest
Lurker
...washed the mess off my hands in the men's room. I couldn't help but notice the Zeppelin music being played on accordian from the Muzak. The pain was unbearable, so I....
standingbear
Active Ink Slinger
filled my ears with the wax I had dug out of other patient's ears and crouched down to...
"Happiness is doing it rotten your own way."Isaac Asimov (1994)
WellMadeMale
Constant Gardener
better listen to and hear what the tiles on the floor were whispering to me. Perhaps I had too much wax in my ears, or maybe...
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
standingbear
Active Ink Slinger
offered to sell me a set of encyclopedias at a very reasonable price. I knew there was no point in arguing, so I...
"Happiness is doing it rotten your own way."Isaac Asimov (1994)
standingbear
Active Ink Slinger
i am losing my mind, i swear there was someone posting between me and rocco, a beautiful woman with ...
"Happiness is doing it rotten your own way."Isaac Asimov (1994)
Southern_Sass
Miss Sassy Pants
beautiful brown eyes, sensual lips and a killer smile. She slid forward and placed her hand on...
mercianknight
Active Ink Slinger
.....the TV remote. Insanely, she switched channels and instead of watching the football, the room was filled with the sounds of....
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
WellMadeMale
Constant Gardener
my mother's 93 yr old aunt Hilda; "WOW" I thought, now feverishly eager to call. Carnal phone sex and it wasn't even going to be an expensive 900 number charge to me; but then as I excitedly pressed the buttons on my cell phone and was unzipping my slacks...
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
standingbear
Active Ink Slinger
I realized that I'd wandered into the visitor's area. With my hand in my pants, I took one look across the room at a beautiful blond with bedroom eyes and...
"Happiness is doing it rotten your own way."Isaac Asimov (1994)
mercianknight
Active Ink Slinger
...."Hiya Bill, they turned the Footie off in there, can I join you?" He tossed back his golden locks, pulled back the covers on his gurney, gave me a wicked smile and......
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Guest
Lurker
... jumped to his feet and started doing a Highland Fling, dressed as he was in a kilt, sgian dubh tucked into his hose and a rather furry sporan covering his...
Guest
Lurker
grotesquely broken nose, and eyed out the small creature that scurried hastily across the slippery floor to ......
Guest
Lurker
... to a doorway that I had never seen before, before I realised what was going on I was slipping through this door myself and was met on the other side by a beautiful, but small, girl. Hi i'm Alice, have you come for the.......
Guest
Lurker
...the erectile function test? I was led by the hand to a small, sterile room and asked to remove my clothing. Once naked, I stood in front of the small woman as she, in turn, reached toward me and ...
mercianknight
Active Ink Slinger
....removed all the lint from my belly button and carefully placed in it a small glass jar. She then opened the door, letting in an 8 foot tall gorilla, and left me standing there waiting for.....
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Guest
Lurker
...him to inspect the lint in the jar. Once he had completed the task, he licked his lips, looked down at me with those brown beady eyes, and ...
Guest
Lurker
.... said, you know what? I see a lot of lint in my job but this is high content Viscose, Its really bad for sensitive skin like yours! I not sure if I was more amazed at the fact he could talk or when he dropped his trousers and showed me his....
M1R
Divine Rapscallion
...'scientific credentials' allowing him to conduct research on primates. Hey, I'm a primate, I thought a millisecond too late, after the gorilla had already...
Maggie R
Guest
Lurker
... scooped me into his strong arms, and commenced that Highland Fling, treating me as though I were a set of bag pipes. As my wind box was compressed to the maximum tolerable...
M1R
Divine Rapscallion
...compression ratio allowed under guidelines of the International Society of Pulmonary Physicians (see the paper, Maximum Tolerable Laryngeal Effect of Being Squeezed Like a Bagpipe by an 8-Foot Gorilla, 2006), my mind drifted to thoughts of the lead researcher on that project, a firm and statuesque Swedish scientist who...
Maggie R