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Unexpected endings - writing challenge (ongoing)

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...the dance floor when the song 'Baby Got Back' and shook that thang.

Early in the morning, while everyone is still in bed, she wakes up with a...
......curiously shaped two-man rocket resting between her legs and smiles.

She sighed and wondered if "Holly would free" herself from her inhibitions long enough to.........
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
...discover the art of motorcycle maintenance. There was nothing she liked better than a huge chopper between her legs, except perhaps...
....watching Nicola encourage MK to again draw his lance from its sheath for her amusement.

Pleased at her ability to resurrect a seemingly dead train of thought she decided to slip on her sexiest cfm heels and call..............
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
...for a pizza. The two Rio brothers, Pablo and Chico, were due in town, and what better way to celebrate their arrival than to...
had violated the covenant of Crappers Quarterly (don't ask). Instead of a gentle chiding, she was planning...
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
... on stringing them up by the short hairs.

She reconsidered that option when she realised, upon looking at them, that they were preternaturally bald...
.....around their genitalia and couldn't resist dropping to her knees. Expectant, she took a deep breath, reached tentatively out and.....
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
... answered the phone, which had been ringing with a cacophony fit to wake the dead, or those who were merely dead drunk.

Listening to the voice on the other end, she realised that once again, telemarketing had...
.....sensed her need for a time-share apartment in Nome, Alaska.

Drooling at the prospect of what could be done during those long Alaskan nights she decided to .........
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
oil, but all she had on hand was massage oil. So the penguin was out of the question, until she remembered that...
... black silk stockings and a fancy suspender belt. Looking into the kitchen cupboard to see if they were there...
...she was distracted by a large jar of marshmallow fluff sitting tantalizingly on the shelf at eye level. With a wicked smile, she decided at once to...
Maggie R
... mix it with oatmeal and treat herself to an at-home moisturising facial. She glorped it on in generous dollops, and left it for the requisite fifteen minutes. The doorbell rang, and forgetting that she was covered in the strange mixture, she opened the door to see...
.....the two Rio brothers, Pablo and Chico, who had finally been sent over by Rocco.

Realising that pizza was off the menu, the lads guided her back to the kitchen, pulled out their Hershey bars, and looked hungrily at her as they decided to.....
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
purchase a pair of plump Chinstrap breeding penguins from the profiteering research scientists at McMurdo and ship it halfway around the globe to their cousin's husband's sister's restaurant in Nome. The very thought of introducing a penguin species into the northern hemisphere gave the Rio brothers wood; they would have the last...
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
take turns riding their drama Llama to their local 7-11 convenience store. Their friend, Apu was busily guarding the slurpee machine from...



*usurpation sux
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
make hot, passionate love on the counter. Before that, the doorbell rang and....

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......to speak with the Police Chief because, when they relocated from Wisconsin as part of the Witness Protection Programme, this was not what they had expected. Nevertheless, they settled down to 'witness' the intended sexual depravity on the kitchen counter and each of them took out.......
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
...their guns. What ensued was a fierce gunfight between the Jehova's Witnesses and the Mormons who showed up from out of nowhere in drags. The showdown lasted for about three minutes,...
which was just as long as John lasted in bed these days. Was it possible to get worse at ....
putting his condom on the proper appendage? Someone needs to tell him not to put it on his tongue before we kiss, but I guess...
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
...I should be grateful he kept the wrapper on. She chuckled to herself as she thought of.......
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
... chocolate. "What more can I say?" she opined in a low voice, not realising that her thoughts were silent but appeared as inflated balloons hovering over her pretty head...
...Which were promptly poppped as a particularly portly porcupine walked past, on his way to a very important rally for...

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

waxing as an alternative to plucking or shaving. Porcupines, he opined, were sadly misunderstood...