.....slipped my mind when, with a deafening below from his lungs, Tarzan swung down from the rafters and scooped me out of the arms of the Gorilla and we flew out of the window landing on the grassy verge overlooking I95. "You not Jane," he said sadly, right before he.............
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
... he got right into performing that Highland Fling, which we all hope will be completed before the end of the month. To his surprise, The Village People joined in with a chorus of YMCA, and scooped him into their midst, making Jane realise that she was better off dating...
.... Gypsy because of her renowned silver tongue and her collection of 'Strap ons'. Turning her back forever on Tarzan, she pulled out her iphone and dialled....
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
...her prescient notion was confirmed — they were, indeed, destined to perform the Highland Fling before month's end. But just as Jane and Gypsy were in the midst of their all-female flinging frenzy, they caught sight of Tarzan and the gorilla striding toward them, both bearing expressions of pure...
.... astonishment!! "My god, is that a real set of bag pipes or is Olly the Octopus enjoying being blown?" said Tarzan to the captivated onlookers whose eyes seemed transfixed on.....
...his grip of the thick vine. It had been a hot summer, and sales of his Tarzan Mud Block® sunblock had gone through the forest roof. Why, just the other day he saw a buxom blonde...
... filing her nails while smoking an unfiltered French cigarette, leaving tell tale rings of deep red lip stick on his...
... equine propagating proboscis. He wondered, "will that stain?" as he carefully removed he tell tail marks with tongue spit, and a hankie that he procured from his ...
magic top hat. 'Thank goodness for extra big hats' he thought happily. He decided that he would channel his inner 'Oompa-Loompa' at the National Mime Awards later. He put on his...
recyclable condom, the pretty ribbed lavender colored Magnum, which had only been used 43 times at last count. Creeping stealthily to the window facing his grandparent's backyard, he...
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
...pulled out his squeegy and began to clean the windows, cursing the way his chores kept him from logging into his Lush account. As he moved around the house ready to clean the sliding glass doors, he saw....
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
he felt first one, then two cyborg digits begin to invade and then probe his anal grommet. He was enjoying the moment, terrified that he might not be the heterosexual prude he had always prided himself to be, but instead...
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
......slapped the cyborg upside his head and (disappointedly?) pointed to the 115volt socket telling the cyborg, "That's where you re-charge, you donkey!" He staggered out of the room leaving the cyborg, a throbbing mass of flesh and machine, recharging on the floor when Gypsy entered from the side door and, mouth agape, approached the man-machine and......
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
... calmly read the care tag which indicated that the Life Time Unlimited Warranty had been written in such a way that it was an acrostic, revealing the secrets of self-rejuvenation. She kicked the pile of cyborg junk aside and laughed, knowing that...
......machines are never as good as the real thing and in her heart still yearned for her Mercian Knight to slip on that kilt and have a fling with her. She rushed to her computer, logged on to her e-mail account and positively glowed when she saw......
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
that a Nigerian relative, of whose existence she had never been aware, had left her fifteen million dollars in his will, and she had only to follow these simple instructions to inherit. First,
.....she needed to switch her web-cam on, resplendent in "Madonna-esque" basque with tassles. Second.....
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
she needed to pick up and clean, at least the room and immediate vicinity which the web camera could see. Clothing, underwear, stockings and shoes piled in masses about the flat would give a wrong message, not to mention...
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
......taking down her 'Fathead' poster of Larry the Cable Guy. Suitably prepared, she logged onto the the url given in the email and...........
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
...keyboard, wedged between the "m" key and the space bar. This, she figured, was what had caused the unfortunate misdirection. She used tweezers to pry out the lint, and as she removed the last speck of it, the computer spontaneously started over at the beginning of the Internet — the web page for Al Gore, Inventor of the Internet — where she was surprised to learn...
... that the Swiss have the worlds largest standing army and military expenses per capita in the world, in spite of not having been faced with armed aggression since before chocolate became an obligatory health care supplement. Oh and this also caused them to create the internet as a convenient way, accesible to all persons, to...
...raise money to fund their clandestine program to develop an army of killer cyborgs. They could only hope that the secret of self-rejuvenation, carried in a hidden location by each cyborg, would not be discovered by a particularly perspicacious cellist, because then they would have to...
...eat cake on a Wednesday, and that would be totally unacceptable. Preferring the flute herself, Michelle decided to...
...show off her tight embouchure and acclaimed fingering technique. She lovingly stroked the long rod before placing it to her lips and...
Wondering why the hell her inner voice had used the term 'embouchure'? She put down the rod gently before she did any damage to it. With a sigh of relief she noticed that her neighbour was approaching her house with the subtle stealth tactics of a herd of stampeding elephants. She watched in amazement as he performed....
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
...as he performed an old Irish Jig he had been practicing for weeks. He then handed her a dictionary and when she looked up that word it confirmed one of her worst fears...
... as it clearly described the condition of the drain pipe, which was clogged by an accumulation of wet, sodden leaves. "Damn!" she thought, "Who would have suspected those beautiful trees in the park of such nefarious intentions?" Shrugging her shoulders, she picked up the phone to call for ...
