The problem using real events/people in stories

Quote by Lauradj
Personally, I think you're being paranoid. Yeah, there's the whole 'better to be safe than sorry' thing, but you changed lots of details and really, as you said, only you or your wife would really know 'the truth' of the story. It's unlikely someone would read a story and think, 'hang on, that's my ass he's describing, holy fuck this story is about me!' (this is of course excluding stories that someone KNOWS is about them)

It's your choice at the end of the day, but it's unlikely to cause a stir, your story.

Quote by IMPÜRETHOUGHTS



Question, where did the confidence you had while writing the story go? Clearly you were proud of it before you started to over think it.
I missed out on reading it.

Quote by LucaByDesign


Let's put it like this: If your family and friends know, and are okay, with the fact you write erotica, then I can understand why you think I am over-cautious.

On the other hand, if your writing is a dark secret, something you do furtively behind closed doors, then you will probably understand the mental place that I'm coming from.

Quote by LucaByDesign


Hi Laura. Thanks for your input.

I know I'm being a whopping great queen of the snowflakes over this. Still, the sequence of events — the small details I described in the story — would be immediately recognisable to either participant — esp the male.

I don't know if you read the story before I removed it, but the events leading up to, and the actual denouement were unique.

Although our friendship resumed for a while, I don't think the guy ever really forgave me for what happened. And I suppose when it comes down to it, it's not that I think either would esp be bothered about having a tiny aspect of their past dramatised in this way.

No. I'm more concerned that my secret life as a purveyor of smut might be clocked by someone whe know me and could made known to all and sundry, friends and family — what with me being the paragon of moral rectitude that I have become in my old age.

But seriously. I am in a genuine dilemma over this.

Let's put it like this: If your family and friends know, and are okay, with the fact you write erotica, then I can understand why you think I am over-cautious.

On the other hand, if your writing is a dark secret, something you do furtively behind closed doors, then you will probably understand the mental place that I'm coming from.

Quote by Beffer
I posted an autobiographical story years ago that I knew might one day come back to bite me in the ass, but so far, so good. We always worry too much about unlikely occurrences.

Quote by Katherine


I love how honest you are. I do understand that mental place. I used to live there but have since moved out. Maybe it's because my personal life and lush have shared spaces at times, I don't know. But anyone I've been intimate with can know about my erotica, I don't care. The fact that I write in general just isn't something that usually comes up though.

I doubt they'd see it in the amount of erotic shorts out there unless they're avid readers. Even then, if they're avid readers they may make that connection.

Be proud of your work.

Quote by Beffer
If you've changed names and locations, you're covered. Even if the two people in the story recognize themselves, they're the only ones who know who they are, and they already know what they did, and what are the odds anyway? I posted an autobiographical story years ago that I knew might one day come back to bite me in the ass, but so far, so good. We always worry too much about unlikely occurrences.

Quote by Verbal


Yeah, I am pretty open about writing erotica, so my knee jerk reaction is you are over-thinking. But I get it.

I agree with Katherine about a couple things - that when your real life and Lush life start to intermix, keeping it all secret seems unnecessary hassle. And...most importantly, be proud of your writing. It's very good, and maybe your pride will trump your furtiveness some day.

Quote by LucaByDesign
I've decided to re-post.

Thanks to everyone who offered their opinion.


By all means, keep this going. There must be loads of Luchies who can offer their take on this dilemma.

Quote by Verbal


That was ME you write about! ME! I will never forgive you!!!

Quote by sprite


i'm going with paranoia myself. i actually bothered to change names in a few of my earliest stories - kate to kay and sydney to cindy. i know, i am sooo sly! never had it backfire on me. now, if you're talking about a mobster or someone who would have you offed, that might be a little different.

Quote by Master_Jonathan
Lucas there are two ways to look at this...

You already touched on one... the odds of either of these people reading your story out of all the information available on the Internet are beyond miniscule - you be more likely to die in a plane crash as it ran into a submarine trying to avoid a bus full of nuns stuck on the train tracks!

The other direction you could go is if they ever did come up to you and ask you about it, you look them right in the eye and say "What were YOU doing reading dirty stories on Lush?" Kind of the same thing I would say if my Pastor ever caught me in a strip joint! LOL!

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Go ahead and put your story back up. It ain't gonna happen.

Quote by LucaByDesign



Thanks for your take, Katherine.

And, yes, I am proud of my work, if only because from where I began.

And thanks for your honesty, too. We're all at different places, start out at different places.

A fair point you make about would they even notice my offerings among all the stories that come and go on here. Probably the aptest point made yet.

I'm starting to see I am being rather ridiculous.

I posted wanting some other writer's perspective — which I now have, thank you, guys. I couldn't have asked for better you five.

Quote by curvygalore


And now you have 6, or is that 7?

I think when you put a very personal, visceral emotional memory out there in writing form for all the world (or at least Lushies!) to see, it must be very vulnerable making.

If it were purely carnal, I wonder if the jitters about exposure would be quite so pronounced?

On the point that everyone is making about Lush and real life overlapping, that really makes a difference too. If at least some people in real life know about one's writing on here then the secrecy aspect is less of a big deal and a strain.

Selfishly, although I completely understand your reasons, I am sorry you took your story down as it was a wonderful piece of writing!

Quote by fuzzy1954
Hey try what I've been doing, write from your heart and write not for others but for your own soul. I know I don't have a huge list in here. But don't over think your stories and continue, yes continue writing
But with 48+ stories with 30 RR's and 2 EP's I don't think you need to hear me telling you to keep writing

Quote by HeraTeleia



A good friend of mine and a good Lush member deleted his account entirely for similar reasons. You do what you have to do, and then you live with whatever is left. Good luck.

Quote by TheTravellingMan
Hey Luca,

I do write about true events, I'm writing about one now and it's really, really hard work and mostly for these reasons. First, the woman in question is a pivotal person in my life, two, the fidelity of my memories is not great (it was twenty years ago). Also, if anyone does read it, I want to protect the innocent and the guilty.

My advice is the obvious, change names but also consider changing the places. Also, limit the antagonists and create composite characters. There are also subtle changes that can be made to the sequencing of events. For example, instead of several encounters and an endless 'he said she said' that kills the pace of the story - compress it into one. I've skipped entire months where little happened other than a repeat of before.

It's a little existential but what is 'true'? A perfect physical facsimile of what happened? Or the metaphysical motivations, emotions and the 'journey' of the protagonist? I think it's possible to detach one but not at expense of the other.

Good luck and I empathise, it ain't easy and I would much rather write fiction.

Quote by LucaByDesign



Thanks, Martin. I appreciate you dropping by to give your take on the problems writing true to life bring.

I did follow pretty much what you suggest about changing, time, names and places. The problem is, the sequence of events leading up to and during the sex scene is so idiosyncratically, uniquely what took place that only someone with dementia could fail to know their basis.

I am working on the aftermath right at the moment. This time I'm more circumspect, changing more than just names while trying to remain true to events, my emotions of the time.

I was surprised when you said your memory of the events in your story is not great. As I go over my own story, it never ceases to amaze me just what I can remember, and I'm talking forty-years ago now. I can even remember things that were said — verbatim (though not that many). I suppose going over the events, year after year has engraved them in my memory.

You mention "sequencing events". Yes, I'm finding this tricky in the present chapter I'm working on as the events take place over nearly two years, not the three months as in the earlier part.

And also how to fit essential bits of back story into the narrative. In the last part, I plonked a significant chunk of back story exposition right in the middle of the sex scene, which was a clumsy thing to do in retrospect. A good editor would have given me short-shift on that one.

I'm reading The Great Gatsby at the moment. Remarkably, I have never read it before — nor seen the film either. It's come along at just the right time, as I like the way Fitzgerald handles Gatsby's back story — in fact, I love the entire book, and will probably read it many times in years to come.

I am getting OT now.

Thanks again for your suggestions. They are much appreciated.

I'll finish with this quote from Gatsby. For me, it is so apt at the moment.

"He talked a lot about the past, and I gathered that he wanted to recover something, some idea of himself perhaps, that had gone into loving Daisy. His life had been confused and disordered since then, but if he could once return to a certain starting place and go over it all slowly, he could find out what the thing was . . ."


(Mmm Grammarly didn't like some of that!)

Quote by LucaByDesign
I've just had a failure of nerve.

The last story I posted on Lush was autobiographical. And even though I changed names, locations, and other cosmetic details, if ever the other two people involved (apart from my wife and myself) would easily recognised themselves if they were ever to read it — just by the unique set of circumstances alone, as I described them.

Now, what are the chances that, out of the eighty million people in either of those two are Lush readers, either of those two people would actually get to read my story? Probably minuscular.


But stories do get pirated and more widely disseminated. For example:

One story I wrote, based on fact, I found posted on a student union site of a university near the town where it was set. It had one word accompanying it from whoever had posted it; Comments? And I wondered what sick lecturer had set my story as homework for their students. But seriously. No one would have recognised themselves from that story, so it does not bother me. But it does show your writing can get disseminated.

And so after a sleepless night, I took my last story "Consequences" down. And its a shame as I am really proud of it, think may people would have enjoyed it.


So basically, what do you other writers on Lush think? Did I do the right thing or am I just being paranoid?

Quote by Magical_felix


One big humble brag.