As part of the big contest, I was going to write about my very first time, and do it 100% truthfully. I started the story, and when I got to recalling my feelings about the guy (who was a very nice guy), I ran into blocks, delays, and all sorts of assorted mental foggery. I couldn't figure out why, until one of my daily weeping storms brought about some clarity: Recalling those feelings, from way back in 1989 (the dark ages, kiddies!) it made me feel guilty for having them, because right here and now, I am still madly in love with my husband and have been for ten years. We were in different parts of the country, in two different worlds, really, but my feelings for him are so strong that simply recalling another love made me feel guilty.
Anyone else have issues when writing about or even discussing previous relationships?
Or is the another sign of the encroaching madness that pregnancy brings?
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx
I look back on my first time and first love as a precious memory ... and don't feel guilty in the least ... It was I very memorable part of my life and has helped form who I am today. I can remember it quite vividly actually ... I would have problems actually talking about it face to face I think, but somehow it's easier getting it down on paper for me ... I like your attitude though castlequeen ...
I have difficulty writing about any real-life relationships. I find it much easier writing fiction.
I agree with you, CQ. I don't think it's about guilt, though. No reason why the past should threaten the present. The opposite, in fact - if we are able to love today, it's because we've learned how (often the hard way).
But it is harder to share it, perhaps, because it is so deeply personal. It's not easy to lay yourself open like that - first loves are full of false hopes, dashed expectations, and ultimate disappointments. Unless you are one of the lucky few who find yourselves celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary with your childhod sweetheart.
QC...not really hard for me (a guy) to recall or talk about my first...it was meaningful as I was a virgin but she had some experience...it was nice and memorable but nothing to write home about.
Now...the first time I was in love was one I had a hard time recanting recently to my lovely wife (2 years) ...as it was a heartbreak for me. I was in college and the girl I liked was serious about her relationships and not looking for someone to just date. She scared me away but over the summer break I found that I really loved her and was going to start the relationship back up when we got back to school...too late...she was now engaged and I was out.
Apart from some initial angst, I too had no problem discussing my first love. That is until I met my second and current true love of 20yrs - then I was overwhelmed with guilt for recalling the warmth and passion of that first time. Feelings akin to cheating welled up in me and, when my Missus does bring it up it never gets any easier - and I don't know why because I am a guy and too shallow to be able to figure it out.
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Biggest word of advise I can give you is if strong feelings for an old love entice you to want to reconnect with them to innocently see how they are doing and you decide to contact them be VERY careful you might just get something you were not expecting at all.
Bunny12
Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off! 
