Perusing several stories on Lush just now it strikes me that few contributors do much in the way of physical description of the characters. Odd - as I would have thought this is really quite essential in erotic fiction. Typically - characters are given names and everything else is left to the imagination of the reader.
Is this intentional - or is there another reason.
Looking back through my stories I do tend to summarise appearance to the best of my limited powers - citing age, body shape and features, hair colour, eyes plus the all too difficult job of summing up what the face looks like.
So do you think it is important? And if you dont describe much or not at all - why?
1) a typical trope of erotic stories is the laundry list. that's where the story starts out by describing the physical attributes of the characters involved, ie: she was 5 foot 5 inches tall, weights 125 pounds, had blond hair, blue eyes, and 36D boobs.
don't do it. just don't. ever. if i catch you doing it, i will break your fucking fingers.
2) i prefer being vague so people can fill in the rest. just throw in a detail here and there, might mention in paragraph two that: her hair cascading down her back appeared almost golden in the sunlight. paragraph three might mention: i loved watching the way her small tits bounced as she danced. four might mention: i caught her watching me, an amused look in her sea green eyes.
just sorta paint a picture that fits in with the story.
3) also fine with this: he was tall and handsome looking. this way the reader gets to read a story with their dream guy, not the writers dream guy. my story might have Henry Cavil in it while someone else's might have Johnny Depp.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
I agree with Sprite. Less is often more when it comes to providing details in fiction. Readers will fill in the gaps.
Don't believe everything that you read.
Unknown User
I salt the descriptions through the story, but definitely not the "laundry list". So I'll mention woman's boobs in a scene where the guy is ogling them or her eyes as he stares into them or her long, sharp fangs as they sink into his neck.
Sprite's sage advice is part of the first rule of writing... Don't tell. Show! Let the reader deduce the character's physicality indirectly, through other characters' reactions, or even through metaphor.
Thanks for your comments. That still leaves facial description as body types are not that difficult to describe.
"sea green eyes" sounds a bit generic - that they had an amused look in them, doesnt say much as it doesnt describe how this amused look manifested itself. "Tall and handsome looking" sounds like lazy writing - sorry Sprite.
Given that we primarily choose our sexual partners based on facial features combined with facial animation (expressions etc) I would have thought the reader might believe in the story more if they thought real people were involved - and strong facial clues/description by the right techniques are surely something that should be a part of any fictional writing. I'm not saying I have been particularly succesful with this. But anyway I have been researching around and found this
I subscribe to sprite's views here... and not just because I'm afraid she'll spank me if I don't.
Omitting some details intentionally and trying to sprinkle enough inventive character-defining tidbits to give the reader a sense of the character is a craft I'm still learning. Sometimes - maybe a small handful of times in a story - I'll get it right and be proud of the way I weaved in some physical nuance without actually telling the reader explicitly. Other times, meh, I miss the mark.
IMO, the hardest part of describing characters is that you know, or have an idea, in your head of what they look like or behave like. The skill is knowing which bits to commit to paper and which to leave out or hint at, so you accurately convey what's in your head. Too light on the detail and the character can sound fake or unrelatable. Too heavy on the detail means there's no imagination involved and it's like reading an instruction manual. Somewhere in between: there be gold.
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Haha, yeah. First person's a bitch. I usually fall back on that ol' find-a-mirror-or-reflective-surface trope. #lazyme
Please browse my digital bookshelf. In this collection, you can find 112 full stories, 10 micro-stories, and 2 poems with the following features:
* 29 Editor's Picks, 74 Recommended Reads. * 15 competition podium places, 10 other times in the top ten. * 21 collaborations. * A whole heap of often filthy, tense, hot sex.
Quote by browncoffee I find it SO hard to describe a person when the story is in first person. Once Rumpleforeskin was like 'WTF DOES THIS GIRL LOOK LIKE??' lol.
you can always use other people's reactions:
i caught him staring at my boobs. "like what you see?" i asked? "yeah, always been into giant knockers."
He shrugged at my question. "you remind me of that movie star. what's her name? she's in all the superhero movies. the long blonde hair, the blue eyes, the legs that go on forever. the giant wart on your nose."
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Unless a physical characteristic is somehow essential to either the story or to a character’s motivation, I try to keep it minimal. To Sprite’s excellent third point, people will bring their own sense of who-they-want-to-see to the story. Eroticism happens between the ears, so let it!
You can also reveal a lot by describing action. Do they flit or do they stride? If a female character “skipped lightly across the rocks,” I know we’re not talking about some 6’4” Amazon lady. I tend to picture a spritely (heh,) tomboyish girl. If it was a male character, I’d picture a wiry, acrobatic guy.
And one upside to first person is that you can use physical descriptions of other characters to reveal more about your narrator.
“Writing is a socially acceptable form of getting naked in public.” -Paulo Coelho
You mean like to show how shallow they are? I'm intrigued.
Potentially, sure! But yeah, if a male narrator (for example) notices a woman’s nail polish color or the freckles on her collarbone before he notices her 36DDs, I think that reveals at least a little something about him.
But you’re right- if he notices her 36DDs before he notices the fact that she’s crying alone at a bus stop, that sure would reveal something else!
“Writing is a socially acceptable form of getting naked in public.” -Paulo Coelho
Quote by jaded_buddha Unless a physical characteristic is somehow essential to either the story or to a character’s motivation, I try to keep it minimal. To Sprite’s excellent third point, people will bring their own sense of who-they-want-to-see to the story. Eroticism happens between the ears, so let it!
You can also reveal a lot by describing action. Do they flit or do they stride? If a female character “skipped lightly across the rocks,” I know we’re not talking about some 6’4” Amazon lady. I tend to picture a spritely (heh,) tomboyish girl. If it was a male character, I’d picture a wiry, acrobatic guy.
And one upside to first person is that you can use physical descriptions of other characters to reveal more about your narrator.
This, plus wot Ms Spriteness said. You both put it far better than I could!
Thanks for all the input and keep them coming - very useful.
Unknown User
Quote by sprite
you can always use other people's reactions:
i caught him staring at my boobs. "like what you see?" i asked? "yeah, always been into giant knockers."
He shrugged at my question. "you remind me of that movie star. what's her name? she's in all the superhero movies. the long blonde hair, the blue eyes, the legs that go on forever. the giant wart on your nose."
Basically, this. Some of my first person stories contain very little description of the narrator unless some point is germane to the story or activities.
Potentially, sure! But yeah, if a male narrator (for example) notices a woman’s nail polish color or the freckles on her collarbone before he notices her 36DDs, I think that reveals at least a little something about him.
But you’re right- if he notices her 36DDs before he notices the fact that she’s crying alone at a bus stop, that sure would reveal something else!
really great points, actually. you can nail a persons personality by how they look at the world around them, often times.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
I used to be pretty specific with my character descriptions - I wanted my readers to see the characters as I saw them. But after my fingers healed from sprite's breaking them, I started being more vague and nowadays I only put in descriptive details that really need to be in there. For example if the story centers around a woman with large breasts I will put in that she had 36DDD's or something.
So be vague and let the reader use their imagination...after all this is fantasy for us all!
Quote by Master_Jonathan I used to be pretty specific with my character descriptions - I wanted my readers to see the characters as I saw them. But after my fingers healed from sprite's breaking them, I started being more vague and nowadays I only put in descriptive details that really need to be in there. For example if the story centers around a woman with large breasts I will put in that she had 36DDD's or something.
So be vague and let the reader use their imagination...after all this is fantasy for us all!
In your story: "Persuading mom to pose ch 1"
The 1st person narrator
"Let me take a second to describe my mother here"
the reader then learns the following:
5 ft 3
wavy blonde hair
full lips
pretty face
DD cup
round ass
the narrator also says: "she is what some might call a bit chubby"
then
"she isnt a skinny runway model but the curves she does have are well placed" (my comment: I dont follow the rationale in this - I thought skinny models did not have curves and the narrator already stated she is chubby)
Sounds like a shopping list to me - you published this on 10 sep 2018
5 ft 3
wavy blonde hair
full lips
pretty face
DD cup
round ass
the narrator also says: "she is what some might call a bit chubby"
then
"she isnt a skinny runway model but the curves she does have are well placed" (my comment: I dont follow the rationale in this - I thought skinny models did not have curves and the narrator already stated she is chubby)
Sounds like a shopping list to me - you published this on 10 sep 2018
really? this was necessary? *rolls eyes* can't fucking wait until the apes finally take over, swear to god.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
really? this was necessary? *rolls eyes* can't fucking wait until the apes finally take over, swear to god.
Just wondering why the poster says he does no longer does detailed description - prefers to be vague - only introduces details where absolutely necessary and only 2 weeks ago posted a story with a shopping list type description. Looks like you will have to break his fingers again.
I'm on a huge learning curve myself and was curious about the posters comments on his story - I am sure he has perfectly good stylistic reasons for what he wrote and I hoped for a reply as I am quite open minded about how to do physical description - I dont do rules - every story is different.
Of course - he may feel like he doesn't wish to elaborate which is ok but it would be nice to have a constructive discussion based on detailed narrative examples.
I described a kitchen countertop as tiled in sea green, somewhere, in one of my stories. "Neighbours", I believe.
As for the advice with regards to measurements, just follow it, already. Nothing will bring my reading to a screeching halt quite as fast as the "laundry list". And sure, scour my stories--you won't find a single "laundry list" amongst them. I do have a terrible habit of describing the female protagonist as I appear in real life, so yes, that's a thing.
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