I have a story that uses Italian in places. Two characters Italian. To post story I must provide translations.
Her friends eyes widen, "Hanno detto che ci davano un passaggio per Vancouver. Hanno mentito. Ci hanno abbandonato qui. E dopo ...", says speaking Italian to he friend. She looks at me. I obviously have no idea what she has just said except for Vancouver. "...... lasciate qui cazzo. Sapevo che non avremmo dovuto fidarci. Ed ora cosa facciamo?" she continues.
So how do I go about inserting the translation?
We encourage all stories be submitted in English. In your case, it is difficult to engage in a different language in dialogue. Perhaps you can revisit the piece and explain to the reader what was said after it was delivered in Italian or simply or omit that part.
The story was actually written as a request by two Italian girls I know. I had hoped to be able to keep the Italian for a bit of foreign flavour. Lush admin asked for a translation to accompany story but made no mention of not being able to use Italian in the story. I guess I am going to have to supply a translation, which looks crappy or rewrite it out for the most part.
Her friend's eyes widen as she mumbles quickly, in Italian, to her friend. The words flow so fast that the only word I make out is 'Vancouver'. She looks at me before continuing in her mother tongue. I can only observe and hope that she'll explain once she's done...
This sounds best I think. Thanks.
This is a great topic. I have been working on a story with a bit of Spanish, or Spanglish. I believe the translation is in the context of the actions, the Spanish speaker turns to Spanish while in the throes of passion.
Although site rules specify that submissions be in English, we have allowed some foreign language phrases in stories. These are usually translated immediately in brackets, unless it is something like bonjour in French which most people know means hello. You have created a story with much more than a phrase or two in Italian. You have actually stated your choices. You can either rewrite it to be in English only or translate the Italian. You could cut the amount of Italian so that translation would not hinder the telling of your story.
The Devil's Undertones is a story about a student becoming involved with her Latin professor (so there's Latin) and her best friend's boyfriend is an immigrant from the Netherlands (ergo there's Dutch). There's also French.
Translating it in the story would just ruin the story and give away the tense twist ending so I translated and explained all of those phrases in a section after the story (Author's After-words).
I've read Lolita - well written but disturbing story written by Nabokov - and he liberally used a large number of French phrases. His use of French inspired my use of Latin, French, and Dutch in TDU.
Now I have several other stories that rely heavily on foreign language - I feel it adds drama and culture to a work.
You replace the Italian with English, because you've already told the reader that the words are in Italian ("says speaking Italian" gives it away, or is redundant if the words ARE in Italian...).
ETA: you want the Italian for foreign flavour. Have you considered adding the flavour in other ways? Like, have them talk with an Italian accent/word order, pop culture references, idioms (you can probably get your friends from Italy to help you with these), and comparisons to "home" from the Italians.
My overall advice is to just not write it for Lush. Select stories for Lush that are Lush-worthy on default (from the initial concept on out). Don't try to write stories purely to stick to the guidelines for Lush.
Because the world is full of languages and not everyone can or will understand them. I think Lush should permit a direct translation at the end of the piece without expecting an author to write in a translation in line at the least in order to preserve the theme and so forth.
One story concept I have relies on a couple being of two different cultures - speaking different languages - and their romance revolves around this language and cultural barrier. They don't understand each other. That's the whole point.
And it just won't be written for release on Lush. I'm not going to sacrifice an entire story theme and concept purely to stick to strict English-only guidelines. This story, like TDU, just won't be released on Lush.
It's not personal - it's not a big deal - that's just how it goes. Publishers always have guidelines and it's no big deal to say 'well this story just isn't for you' - and they're okay with it.
