There once was a man called Billy
And everyone thought he was silly
It soon came to pass
He was a pain in the ass
As his knickers where all pink and frilly
Three blind mice, see how they run
Where the hell are they going?
~Adapted from Andrew Dice Clay
I was in bed one night dreaming
when a light came through my window gleaming
I woke with a start
and had a great fart
while the tooth fairy gave me a reaming
Many the stories have been.
Bout a lady born in sin.
One day in the tub.
Instead of a scrub
she covered her titties with parafin
There was a young lady from Ealing,
who had a peculiar feeling,
she laid on her back,
and openned her crack,
and pissed all over the ceiling
I once loved a gal name of Deezer
smoking had made her a wheezer
she'd pant during rutting
coughing while slutting
gagging on me, an old geezer.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Omg!
LOL
Great wellM.
I must say I love daisychain for starting this thread.
I never tried limmericks before and now i write one every second day or so.
Her name was harvey wall banger
Wore men, like shirts off a hanger
One night she called me daddy
I thought I was a lucky laddie
even more so when I entered her hangar
There once was a girl named Ginny
who tried to sell sex from her Mini.
She couldn't relax, as she laid in the back,
and never made a single Penny.
There once was. Man from Nantucket.
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin.
If my ear was a cunt, I would fuck it!
Okay, it ain't mine, but it is a classic!
There once was a girl named Danielle
Who soon had me under her spell
As we were having a go, she sucked on my toe
and my innocence all went to hell
She never gets tired of his training.
Her whips always cracks where she's aiming.
Strung from tackle and block
she would pleasure his cock
if the fool would just stop his complaining.
"I can resist everything except temptation." - Oscar Wilde
Surfing the Google waves I crashed on Lush
A convoluted place that guarantees a blush.
From down under created
through its member propagated.
but its my secret so shush.
There was a boy named Paul
Who went to the New Year’s Ball
He drank too much and fall
Embarrassing himself in front of Doll
Now, he is not getting a call
Upon a Dot Com site called Lush,
I felt an incredible Rush!
When a cute tasty girl
Put my life in a whirl
By sending me shots of her bush!
xx Steph
(A TOTALLY silly one!)
Because I suffer from Glaucoma
I'm mostly turned on by Aroma
Though I'm sure that your tits
Would have me in fits
If I could only see them, Ramona!
xx Steph
The stories I write are not real
And are mostly about what I feel
But if you would like
I'd ride you like a bike
So what do you think of that deal?
xx Steph
Your words make me smile
and no Im not in denial.
It took me while to understand
That you were a man,
In fact, one with technique and style.
There was a young lass from Alberta,
Who was known as a tease and a flirter,
She'd grab onto your cock,
Turn it hard as a rock,
And then leave it go, and no further.
For twenty-five cents and a drink,
Easy Susie would show you her ink,
A red robin she'd jest,
Was in flight on her breast,
And its nest was below in her pink.
I wrote several in chapters of George, Isolde, and The Brass Ring Polka Band, but to save all of you the hassle of reading seventeen chapters, here are a few:
A swain with another man’s wive
Assayed to play – nay, to swive.
Her husband came back as he entered her crack
And he’s lucky to still be alive.
A nudist and troglodyte
Kept herself mostly hidden from sight.
But when she went to town, all the people would frown
At her nudity out in plain sight.
A lady who dwelt near a river
Had two guys who would deliver
The goods to her lair, and play with her there
She loved to get all they could give her.
"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
There once was a site named Lush,
With stories so hot you might blush,
But they're never a bore,
And if you come back for more,
You might cum so hard you will gush.
Was cruising the photos of fine female flesh
Jerking my gerkin to croons of John Tesh
Pic 41 brought a gasp of surprise
With a handful of cock I did recognize
My sister's twisters and crazy fuck eyes
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Mary rode in on a llama,
In search of a little drama,
She visited the forum,
But the lack of decorum,
Sent her back home to her mama.
Nicola, an Australian from Lush
Trimmed her pubes like hair on a brush
While rimming her butt
She called me a slut
Making me sigh with a blush
An accident quite uncanny
Befell a respectable granny
She sat in her chair
While her false teeth were there
And bit herself right in her fanny
There was a position called Doggy
Though my mind is a little bit foggy
But with her bent in front
And my cock aimed at her cunt
My mind is getting more and more joggy
