I once met a girl down in Dixie,
Who was tiny and built like a pixie,
Asked for cash in advance,
Or no chance down her pants,
And now I know why she's named Trixie.
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
A young woman who was hot and whorey,
Decided to submit to Lush a story,
It was so poorly written,
The mods were not smitten,
So much for her fame and glory.
There was once a piece of paper,
Placed on the table and left for later.
Its lines were of purple ink
and margins 2cm, I think.
I feel its time I tend to it, with caper.
There was a young man from Nantucket
Whose prick was so long he could suck it
Said he with a grin
Wiping jizz from his chin
If my ear was a cunt I could fuck it
The vicar said do you want more tea
To Katy who was three years off forty
She gave him a wank
In return for a spank
And said oh dear you really are naughty
A pretty young Lady, Penelope
Attempted to write a soliloquy
But she just couldn't find
A name she could rhyme
So she just had to settle for Cantaloupe
(You see, if you pronounce it CAN-TA-LOOP-PAY it's funny, but I've ruined it now....)
xx Steph
Nicola, oh, Nicola
You are the besticular
Boss we could have on this site
To use the vernacular
Your work is spectacular
But Stephanie's writing is shite.
xx
*Kisses His Cute Boss*
Steph
There once was a man in pyjamas
Who found himself in the Bahamas
Drinking tropical punch
With his delicious lunch
But missing Peru, and the Llamas
(I'm a fucking genius!)
xx STEPHANIE ROCKS!
A broken down hooker called Bethel
Took a job in a Wisconsin brothel......
(Oh finish it yourself!)
xx SF
There once was a lady on Lush,
Who found she developed a crush
But the guy she adored
found that pubes made him bored
and now she no longer sports bush
I was chatting with this saucy fella
Who annoyed me by calling me 'Bella'
I got so pissed with that dick
Instead of 'Oooh', I went 'Ick'
And now we're no longer together.
Oh...I'm not your boss
My teeth you don't floss
Your eyes bleed at dreck in the night
While you read and check what we write
What the fuck - is a salad toss?
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
I heard a tale that made me laugh
Of a guy who was having a bath
He said "Up periscope"
And grabbed hold of the soap
As he laughed, bubbles went up his ass...
(hahahah - that is so juvenile, and not very good)
What a fun way to waste time,
Putting pen to paper to rhyme.
A trifling diversion
From Lush Stories immersion —
But now back I go, to read something sublime?
(Hey, it does happen occasionally!)
I read tales of tails & dirt
Recalled laments of fails & hurt
Occasionally my heart is quenched
Auto-reject, shelved and benched
Story approval, hearty squirt!
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Reading these words
Makes me envy all you turds. ;)
Such command and vocabulary,
Have turned my palms quite hairy
This lush addiction, I must find a way to curb!
If you're writing a story for Lush,
Take care not to be in a rush.
'Cause the story you're telling;
Not word choice, grammar or spelling;
Is the best way to make readers blush.
"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
I'm such a dick,
I can't write Limericks,
So with this confession,
I'll quit my profession
And study the art of astral projection.
There was a sad, lonely Canuck
Who was seriously down on his luck
Till he met Charlene
Who was new on the scene
But always dead keen for a fuck
A sexy black beauty named Liz
Once found herself all of a tizz
When she blew off her brothers
And 24 others
And ended up covered in jizz
There was a young woman called Hannah
Who misplaced her dildo banana
Thank the Lord, lah di dah
She found a cigar
A fat one that came from Havana
A hot sexy woman called Rosie
Went out with her girlfriend called Josie
These usual suspects
Were wonderful subjects
To be fucked by the great Keyser Soze
A lovely Lush lady called Gem
Was on stage with the group REM
Michael Stipe on his knees
Gave a wheeze and a sneeze
And covered her pussy in phlegm
A mistress of words - name of Mo
Had a story that just wouldn't flow
But don't you all fret
Her muse made her wet
With his tongue working out down below
A young maiden who hailed from London
Cried out, "Oh my God, Sir, I'm undone!"
Replied he, "Do not fret,
For I'm willing to bet,
Someday, you'll decide that it's fun."
"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
There was once a man from Leeds
Who Swallowed a packet of seeds
In less than a hour
His cock was a flower
And all of his pubes turned to weeds
Any Good ??
There was a young man named Bates
Who danced the fandango on skates
A fall on his cutlass
Rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates
Love this!!!! 
